tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post2540367832420966829..comments2023-10-15T14:18:49.624+05:30Comments on Timeless Imagination: Just another post on Marriage!Sakshihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-9807644161778842862011-03-20T15:33:49.594+05:302011-03-20T15:33:49.594+05:30Loved the post! I've never read a post on this...Loved the post! I've never read a post on this side of the story.. it was always how girls are married off at a young age.<br />I totally agree with you and your grandfather :P♪♪Happy Go Lucky♪♪https://www.blogger.com/profile/01269515158933060231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-41023530296868956632011-03-18T15:18:19.650+05:302011-03-18T15:18:19.650+05:30If talking about responsibilities with your spouse...If talking about responsibilities with your spouse with an open mind means thats its a gender war well then I really have nothing to say to you. <br /><br />Its very easy for you to sit there and exclaim that, not because men suffer less when it comes to gender discrimination but because your poor intellect allows you that limited space.<br /><br />I can safely say that I am strong enough and I dont need reservations. But that would be quite selfish, because I am not the only girl in India. There are different situations and yes for some women it is extremely difficult. It sounds idealistic to fight against reservation which pronounces inequality in an even finer tone. But some women need it and they do deserve which may not include me or the girls you know. Just because we do not face problems regarding gender/caste does not really mean that the other person does not. If you can't do anything to help, at least do not sit back and mock.<br /><br />And lastly your exclamation 'wow, now a gender war too' just shows how little you understood of what I said. Its a pity, really.xte2yzyohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11990422862792395913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-24465999481796211712011-03-18T12:45:24.343+05:302011-03-18T12:45:24.343+05:301. How do you think your parents' thoughts wou...1. How do you think your parents' thoughts would be, if you and your husband decided to stay at your parents house itself, after getting married?<br /><br />That is out of the question when I wouldn't be staying with them, I have my own life, my own job and a place to hit the sack. <br /><br />2.And why do you think we have special reservations (in trains and buses) for women, but not men?<br /><br />Definitely because they think women need reservations. I am *strongly* against it. I think I can do without it. But do I really have a choice when it is enforced by law( eg: admissions to universities). No I don't, why ? Because it is already assumed that I need it and I cannot do without it.<br /><br />3. How would you feel if your boyfriend decides to wear a saree to one of your friend's birthday party?<br /><br />Sorry,I dont date crossdressers.xte2yzyohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11990422862792395913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-59446949426791453192011-03-16T22:22:40.099+05:302011-03-16T22:22:40.099+05:30@Rohit
Thanks, for the certifying :P@Rohit<br />Thanks, for the certifying :PSakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-4468788832220268352011-03-16T22:22:04.667+05:302011-03-16T22:22:04.667+05:30@Su
And, I was missing your comment here :)
You bt...@Su<br />And, I was missing your comment here :)<br />You btw, need no excuse to come and meet me. Just come. Only condition is that See has to be with you.Sakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-35189315105949706022011-03-16T20:49:22.470+05:302011-03-16T20:49:22.470+05:30I too would certify you as a Wedding person!! cong...I too would certify you as a Wedding person!! congrats....!! happy to know ur true feeling! Sometime it comes as a obligations....and things really go out of hand!!Rohit Dassanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17660313672255263119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-14613366521706103132011-03-16T16:14:39.565+05:302011-03-16T16:14:39.565+05:30my god...27 comments!!!!!!!!
i guess we like you g...my god...27 comments!!!!!!!!<br />i guess we like you giving sermons...<br />please just shut up and marry fast...i need an excuse to come and meet you guys:-)<br /><br />it is all very subjective at the end of the day...for some, marriage is the end of all and for others just the beginning...we cannot all be at the same end of the horizon, na?:-)<br /><br />enjoyed the take though...<br />and u argue as well as though this was in court:-)<br />yes, my lordSuruchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08352785820589232058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-41737742478607952192011-03-16T15:44:26.022+05:302011-03-16T15:44:26.022+05:30Ah, but even yours could surely be fun Shayon as l...Ah, but even yours could surely be fun Shayon as long as you do your own thing a little - it totally sucks when all others are having fun but not the bride and groom. <br /><br />And lol Sakshi, of course I totally consider you reliable in judgment too so am now fully convinced :PWicked Witch of the Westhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00003458713764591195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-41746477550326174332011-03-16T15:20:17.567+05:302011-03-16T15:20:17.567+05:30Sure... as long as the wedding ain't yours!Sure... as long as the wedding ain't yours!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05328373104801894198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-40120966123918536832011-03-16T15:18:05.606+05:302011-03-16T15:18:05.606+05:30@WWW
Yes, Indian Weddings are AWESOME fun!!! :P@WWW<br />Yes, Indian Weddings are AWESOME fun!!! :PSakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-6335755433738479672011-03-16T14:36:43.864+05:302011-03-16T14:36:43.864+05:30Well, I don't know about there, but here the a...Well, I don't know about there, but here the absolute minimum for a wedding is 20 times the cost of a party. And the average is many, many times more. I also don't throw parties, except for my kids birthdays. And the cost for a bridesmaid or groomsperson (I have been both) is between 1 and 5 times as much as a very decent party. For some people, who value it, and who will not be much set back in home ownership by it, they may find it worthwhile. And while I enjoy event planning a lot, I really did not enjoy my wedding at all - and have enjoyed only two of the weddings I have been to (one a very small family wedding of about 30, one where it was just a great casual atmosphere and more like a party - which I think is what you are hoping for from distant memory :D). For me, mine was not worthwhile, but a very small wedding in a different location may have been. I don't see where I mentioned 'unfair' - If someone wants to spend a lot on having a wedding, that is their business - we all have different values, and if that is what they value, that is fine (just as I value travel, which many do not), as long as it is not imposed on others (I don't know if you have such a thing as the 'bridezilla' there? - have not heard of any such thing in the Indian context, but it is very much something you see here(as a close friend just experienced, being bridesmaid for someone who expected a rivercruise, a hens night, and a kitchen tea, on top of 25,000 Rs spent on bridesmaid dress, plus expenditure on shoes, makeup, hair, gifts for kitchen tea, wedding and engagement, and even purchase of an outfit for the bride). <br /><br />I have been assured that Indian weddings are much more fun, by someone I consider very reliable in judgment, but I (and most of my friends) find the weddings here in general super boring and stilted, plus the whole white dress thing does not appeal (Indian wedding outfits are sooo much prettier, and of course the mehendi is awesome).Wicked Witch of the Westhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00003458713764591195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-70276627775052218632011-03-16T00:21:06.509+05:302011-03-16T00:21:06.509+05:30@Shayon
After 25 years they realize that it is not...@Shayon<br />After 25 years they realize that it is not working? Well, then, I definitely gonna put them through counselling and push them to resolve rather than walk away. <br /><br />Oh, so if your mother tells you not to put your hand in the flame without you asking her, because it is for your own good, that advise is not taken? Similarly, if the parents/in-laws see that you are doing something stupid should they just shut up and not tell you to rectify their stupidity and let the relationship go to hell?<br /><br />Yes you are in a 6 year old relationship, and you walk out of it, I ask you to answer me, talk to me and come back to me, can I force you to answer me? If you decide not to, you will not. But if I am married and you do exactly the same thing, I may not be able to get you back, but I can atleast by an action of restitution make you answerable to your actions of deserting me.<br />I was not talking about the magnitude of the wedding, I was talking about the sharing of happiness. Tell me if that was the case, why did Dip do a whole religious thingy? He did it na? Did it later, but he did.Sakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-23734691245612189802011-03-16T00:11:17.896+05:302011-03-16T00:11:17.896+05:30@Sakshi
...Tell me how can you not be answerable t...<strong>@Sakshi</strong><br /><em>...Tell me how can you not be answerable to your own parents?...</em><br />If tomorrow, may God forbid, your parents figure out that their relationship ain't working, despite all their efforts...would you still suggest them to stay together and suffer JUST BECAUSE you want them to stay together?<br /><br /><em>...So if one of the two people involved in the relationship has a problem and they are unable to solve it.. and need to discuss it to find a problem, they should pay the money and go to a Councillor rather than talking to your own parents....</em><br />This is solicited advice. If you notice re-read my comment, I was referring to unsolicited advice.<br /><br /><em>... And if you are in a relationship that makes you feel all secured but at the end of the you are not answerable for your actions...</em><br />If I am in a 6 year old relationship, and still go out and sleep with someone else, you are telling me that I am answerable to no one?<br /><br /><em>...And what is wrong in sharing your happiness with the ones you usually do?...</em><br />Absolutely, nothing wrong. But I have a question for you. How many of your "friends & family" would be keen to celebrate your wedding with you, even if you tell them you aren't paying for their fooding and lodging since you don't have much money, and wanna save whatever you have got, especially since wedding is an important change in your life that needs a whole lot of nurturing? Would your "friend and family" still be happy about your marriage?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05328373104801894198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-9548149425022441082011-03-15T23:48:02.122+05:302011-03-15T23:48:02.122+05:30@ME
Thanks a ton for dropping by to leave a commen...@ME<br />Thanks a ton for dropping by to leave a comment!! I seemed to have stirred a lot of thinking bells in this post!!<br />HUGS!Sakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-4054452563414630362011-03-15T23:47:12.204+05:302011-03-15T23:47:12.204+05:30@WWW
You wrote an entire post to answer mine!! But...@WWW<br />You wrote an entire post to answer mine!! But for you too, am glad that something instigated you leave a few kind words here!! :P<br /><br />1) Actually, a lot of people including Shayon finds its a waste of money. But, I personally feel, that marriage is a celebration of your happiness, and yes, some of the rituals are old and weird, but then they are there to make you feel special on your day. And what is wrong in sharing your happiness with the ones you usually do? Going by 'despising the celebration through ceremonies', then wouldn't partying be a waste too?<br />You always part with your friends, and when yu get a chance to include your family in that celebration especially when you are starting a whole new chapter of your life, especially the people who have been a part of your life till now- I don't think it is unfair!!<br /><br />2. There is a reason why bigamy is a criminal offence in India ;)<br /><br />3. Thanks a ton, all fingers crossed!!<br /><br />4. Bingo to this one :)<br /><br />I also don't like numbering my paragraphs, but in my profession too, replies are made in numbered paras!! :)Sakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-33447959669995834842011-03-15T23:39:21.566+05:302011-03-15T23:39:21.566+05:30@Ria
OMG, Congrats :) on your marriage.. :)I reall...@Ria<br />OMG, Congrats :) on your marriage.. :)I really wish that you are having loads of fun in this new phase of life :)<br />And thanks for reiterating my point of view!!! :)Sakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-69735345593738628522011-03-15T23:37:16.399+05:302011-03-15T23:37:16.399+05:30@Uncle J
Hi! :) Absolutely, the cardinal principle...@Uncle J<br />Hi! :) Absolutely, the cardinal principles are just those, for any relationship, not just the one involving love and marriage. <br /><br />And yes, it is always the lady's house.. the man just pays the bills ;)Sakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-14978275263632783022011-03-15T23:35:04.943+05:302011-03-15T23:35:04.943+05:30@Shayon
Tell me how can you not be answerable to y...@Shayon<br />Tell me how can you not be answerable to your own parents?<br />Yes, I know that they should trust your decisions and everything, but are our parents only there to give us birth and money when we need it? So if one of the two people involved in the relationship has a problem and they are unable to solve it.. and need to discuss it to find a problem, they should pay the money and go to a Councillor rather than talking to your own parents. <br /><br />Also, a relationship may make you feel all secured, but there are temptations out there and it is a fact that you get tempted and you tend to deviate. And if you are in a relationship that makes you feel all secured but at the end of the you are not answerable for your actions, then what good is that security??Sakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-44956712742245488192011-03-15T23:26:21.653+05:302011-03-15T23:26:21.653+05:30@ BloodyMary
Yay!! Finally I was able to to write ...@ BloodyMary<br />Yay!! Finally I was able to to write a post on which you commented!! :P<br />Should write more like these!!! :)<br /><br />Yes, I agree, that just because you are married does not mean that you should have all the responsibility and that you should make time for your ownself too!! :)Sakshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13560563322184558228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-83746075691114300852011-03-15T22:06:21.469+05:302011-03-15T22:06:21.469+05:30I understand what your grandpa told you. It DOES h...I understand what your grandpa told you. It DOES hold valid.<br /><br />But like you said, to each his own.<br /><br />Beautiful post. I liked reading about marriage in back to back posts :)Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16899821466517313609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-25313693763027471262011-03-15T17:07:15.054+05:302011-03-15T17:07:15.054+05:30Haha, well I was too tired to write much, but I di...Haha, well I was too tired to write much, but I did...no doubt tomorrow I will look back and feel dismayed at how incoherent (and rambling :D) I was.Wicked Witch of the Westhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00003458713764591195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-72488449265063461472011-03-15T16:46:16.903+05:302011-03-15T16:46:16.903+05:30@W3
That was your "not so much"? *chokes...<strong>@W3</strong><br />That was your "not so much"? <em>*chokes himself and dies*</em>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05328373104801894198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-5170695773736263552011-03-15T16:39:49.413+05:302011-03-15T16:39:49.413+05:30Too tired to write much but:
1) You are totally t...Too tired to write much but:<br /><br />1) You are totally the opposite of me in wanting to get married for the ceremonies - this was what I always despised, saw as a waste of money, and wanted to avoid. I am odd I know - but then I also feel that if marriage is about 'love' between two people, then it should be a private matter for them, not something so publicly celebrated and with such an outward focus.<br /><br />2) Marriage really has been about property and power - joining of lands to make a viable farm, alliances of families to give them greater collective power etc. Love in marriage is such a recent concept. Not that it didn't exist - but that it was rarely the reason for marrying in many cases. At many times and in many places, romantic love was actually considered to be generally and normally with other than the marriage partner.<br /><br />3) Despite my own views of marriage (to me it is the commitment/connection of two people that is most important, not something that has been distorted by involvement by religions and state)...I do totally approve of your own marital aspirations, and hope they are fulfilled soon of course...with reasonable hope at least to you by the time of the wedding later this year. <br /><br />4) I do think there is some logic to what your grandfather said - when young, we are still finding our way in the world and our independence, not yet set in habits and preferences for independent living. Once older, particularly after a period of independent, or relatively independent living, we have established our preferences and habits, and so would definitely find it harder to adjust with anyone not extremely compatible. <br /><br />5) I didn't really need number, but I like them...when you are an accountant it goes with the territory..:DWicked Witch of the Westhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00003458713764591195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-49511710953355427332011-03-15T16:21:03.976+05:302011-03-15T16:21:03.976+05:30Wow! Now we have a gender war too!
@Bloody Mary
G...Wow! Now we have a gender war too!<br /><br /><strong>@Bloody Mary</strong><br />Got three questions for you -<br /><br />1. How do you think your parents' thoughts would be, if you and your husband decided to stay at your parents house itself, after getting married?<br /><br />2.And why do you think we have special reservations (in trains and buses) for women, but not men?<br /><br />3. How would you feel if your boyfriend decides to wear a saree to one of your friend's birthday party?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05328373104801894198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689753396063801855.post-79233048657321903112011-03-15T14:56:35.560+05:302011-03-15T14:56:35.560+05:30Yes i do agree with what ur grandfather has said a...Yes i do agree with what ur grandfather has said and it is true to a gr8 extent. Personally speaking i dont think there's any particular age to get married. Yes, one should knw what they r goin in for and they shud be ready to take the responsiblity of each other. Marriage is a wonderful thing especially if u r marrying the person u love. :)<br /><br />P.S. I got married last month. :DRiàhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00522045043501343739noreply@blogger.com