I don't remember the last true weekend that I had!
Oh, Wait, I did have a concept of a weekend in the first half of the year. In the last half of the year, the only thing that I know of is the couple of hours on a Sunday where also, I have my dance classes!
So from being a college student I have become a professional now. An Advocate, and there are days when I get up in the morning and think, Oh my GOD! Why can't I bunk? And just stay at home. And do nothing. But, alas, there is no concept of a holiday when you become a professional.
And this year, after 24 years of being a student, from the nights when I was not allowed to stay up beyond 9 pm, the days which were planned according to tuition timings and the exams.. the out station trips that were not taken because of the college exam.. today I have become a professional who has to be in the courts at 10 in the morning, and even on a saturday work. The socializing has strictly become a after 7pm affair..
And even though, I always wanted to grow up, I sincerely don't think that I have mentally accepted the "growing- up" bit!
I said hello to 2010 as an Undergrad, and I am going to say hi to 2011 as a Lawyer. Life has certainly changed and lesson to be kept from 2010- To accept change- Not only in the world, but also in you!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
2010: Good Riddance- Part II
So, now that we are concluding the first week of December, I am excited about the last couple of days.*so that this GOD damn year ends ASAP*
You know, there are atleast two friends of mine, that are getting married in the coming two weeks!
*Yeah you guessed it right, the theme of this post is Relationships*
So how do I deal with that. Especially when the opening line of my post was talking about the holy union of two of my real good friends, I just dunno how to put it--- The fact that this year was a BAD BAD year for relationships. *The male- female, love relationship*.
*Otherwise, my darling Suruchi found a whole new meaning to the word Mother- Seeya!, So therefore not talking about the whole gammot of relationships here*
The first and foremost, is the my own relationship, that I had given up on. The thing that I cherished for the longest time with all the sanity that I had- I just .. well.
And it is not only me. I know that a lot of people, really close to me, who thought that things will eventually work out for them, had to settle for- the non working out of the things that you would really want.
I am an optimist, and I never for once doubted all those relationships and their future, hell- I did not doubt on mine till it was too late and I had inflicted enough damage!
And with each heart break that I heard about, my own nightmares returned to me. To revisit the pain of heart breaks is a tough tough job.
As a matter of fact, the whole optimism was shaken to the root, and things that were thought which mattered, actually turned out to be farce. Trusts were broken along with the hearts.
Going by the law of averages- The worst ought to be over, and things should start looking brighter in the newest year *and if cynics are to be believed, then the last two years before the doomsday *.
Lessons Learnt analysing the relationships, heart breaks , heartaches, and marriages this year are the simplest things..
Never ever take for granted- The trust and the love that you have. It is a rare thing to have an a gift to keep.
It always lovely to increase your circle of friends, but NEVER underestimate the love and the understanding of the person who has been your friend for life.
Lastly- To believe and to stand up for the person you love, in front of the society.. No one but only YOU can do that! The strength of a relationship as good as the Confidence that you have in the one you love!
To 2011- Let there be love!
****************************************
PS: Since I talked about the weddings- One of the weddings is of our dear fellow blogger and my lovely friend Ki! So here is to a new beginning to her! Love you Girl!
You know, there are atleast two friends of mine, that are getting married in the coming two weeks!
*Yeah you guessed it right, the theme of this post is Relationships*
So how do I deal with that. Especially when the opening line of my post was talking about the holy union of two of my real good friends, I just dunno how to put it--- The fact that this year was a BAD BAD year for relationships. *The male- female, love relationship*.
*Otherwise, my darling Suruchi found a whole new meaning to the word Mother- Seeya!, So therefore not talking about the whole gammot of relationships here*
The first and foremost, is the my own relationship, that I had given up on. The thing that I cherished for the longest time with all the sanity that I had- I just .. well.
And it is not only me. I know that a lot of people, really close to me, who thought that things will eventually work out for them, had to settle for- the non working out of the things that you would really want.
I am an optimist, and I never for once doubted all those relationships and their future, hell- I did not doubt on mine till it was too late and I had inflicted enough damage!
And with each heart break that I heard about, my own nightmares returned to me. To revisit the pain of heart breaks is a tough tough job.
As a matter of fact, the whole optimism was shaken to the root, and things that were thought which mattered, actually turned out to be farce. Trusts were broken along with the hearts.
Going by the law of averages- The worst ought to be over, and things should start looking brighter in the newest year *and if cynics are to be believed, then the last two years before the doomsday *.
Lessons Learnt analysing the relationships, heart breaks , heartaches, and marriages this year are the simplest things..
Never ever take for granted- The trust and the love that you have. It is a rare thing to have an a gift to keep.
It always lovely to increase your circle of friends, but NEVER underestimate the love and the understanding of the person who has been your friend for life.
Lastly- To believe and to stand up for the person you love, in front of the society.. No one but only YOU can do that! The strength of a relationship as good as the Confidence that you have in the one you love!
To 2011- Let there be love!
****************************************
PS: Since I talked about the weddings- One of the weddings is of our dear fellow blogger and my lovely friend Ki! So here is to a new beginning to her! Love you Girl!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
You know why they are called as Horrorscopes?
The name reveals it all- That is because they are nothing but a horror story, that makes ones life miserable. And above all, it leaves you with a sense of unease, because, you end up wondering if your actions are governing the life that you are leading or the stars are steering your life?
No, offence to people who believe in horror scopes, as a matter of fact there was a time that I too believed in looking through that crystal ball, and reading the tarot cards, and wondering if it is going to be a good day. As a matter of fact, I remember, when I was going to talk about something really important to my parents, and I saw my horror scope of that day, and according to that; it was a bad time. And then someone told me (I think that was Priyam) that when ever you have to talk about something super scary with your parents, the time is never right!
Can I not owe up to my own actions, and be brave enough to face them rather than waiting for the correct alignment of the stars?
It is sort of a fuck all situation with me.
And, I am facing the "horror" of the horror scope!
No, offence to people who believe in horror scopes, as a matter of fact there was a time that I too believed in looking through that crystal ball, and reading the tarot cards, and wondering if it is going to be a good day. As a matter of fact, I remember, when I was going to talk about something really important to my parents, and I saw my horror scope of that day, and according to that; it was a bad time. And then someone told me (I think that was Priyam) that when ever you have to talk about something super scary with your parents, the time is never right!
Can I not owe up to my own actions, and be brave enough to face them rather than waiting for the correct alignment of the stars?
It is sort of a fuck all situation with me.
And, I am facing the "horror" of the horror scope!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
2010: Good Riddance- Part I
So, we are finally entering the last phase of the year 2010. The year that was the most awaited by me for many reasons. Well, maybe I should have guessed that this year is going to suck real bad... after all I had an exam on the very first day of the year.
*It is often said that, whatever you do on the first day of the year sets the trend for the rest of the year* So, I was wondering,, as to after my set of last semester exams, how is it that I would be giving an exam the whole year? Even if I count the Entrances (for the Masters), how in the world will I end up giving exams till the last of the year. *I almost did, actually- There was this All India Bar Examination which was Scheduled for 5th of December, which got postponed, thanks to a lot of 'if' and 'buts' and buttheads.*
One of the major lesson that I learned this year was- That we give an exam, each moment of our lives. There is never a moment that goes by when we are not doing something, to set something right. That something maybe a thing that you did in the past, or a thing that you would want to happen in the future, or even making a decision in the present.
Each moment defines who we really are. And, even though the smaller and the insignificant decisions like, to eat or skip a meal or what to wear, may not be really life changing, but then there are decisions, that are life changing, which we take all the time.
About the people who we love, about the things that matter to us and how they affect the people around us.
Even though, age is nothing but a number, this year, I learnt, to grow up, and to own up- Not only to the things that I am proud of accomplishing, but also owning up to my mistakes.
And I throw this year out because : It robbed me of my innocence and my smile!
*It is often said that, whatever you do on the first day of the year sets the trend for the rest of the year* So, I was wondering,, as to after my set of last semester exams, how is it that I would be giving an exam the whole year? Even if I count the Entrances (for the Masters), how in the world will I end up giving exams till the last of the year. *I almost did, actually- There was this All India Bar Examination which was Scheduled for 5th of December, which got postponed, thanks to a lot of 'if' and 'buts' and buttheads.*
One of the major lesson that I learned this year was- That we give an exam, each moment of our lives. There is never a moment that goes by when we are not doing something, to set something right. That something maybe a thing that you did in the past, or a thing that you would want to happen in the future, or even making a decision in the present.
Each moment defines who we really are. And, even though the smaller and the insignificant decisions like, to eat or skip a meal or what to wear, may not be really life changing, but then there are decisions, that are life changing, which we take all the time.
About the people who we love, about the things that matter to us and how they affect the people around us.
Even though, age is nothing but a number, this year, I learnt, to grow up, and to own up- Not only to the things that I am proud of accomplishing, but also owning up to my mistakes.
And I throw this year out because : It robbed me of my innocence and my smile!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Junk Post
There are times in life when you feel that there is nothing more left to it. The world around you has gone mad, and that nothing is making sense anymore!
This is happening more and more with me.
Also that there are a plethora of emotions inside me that I just cannot imagine the existence of! I am hardly happy about anything these days, maybe the most comfortable time that I have had was the Metro ride that I had with Shayon about two days back, where the whole god-damn metro was full and Shayon and I had no choice *or space* but to just chipko to each other and just hold on to each other!
I have also recently discovered the joy of eating alone. Atleast I can have what I want without really bothering that my seniors have to pay for the food. And then I have also discovered the loneliness in the night! And it chills you right to your bones, when you realise that there is no one to talk to!
Then there are friends that who you always think are friends for life and what not and then they get angry at you for some stupid reason, and a very unlike thing of, I do not even feel like going and coaxing her out of her 'naraazigi' from me.. because- This time, I know that I have not done anything wrong, or that I have done a mortal sin that will place me in hell! *heaven, I know I don't want to be in*. Of course I have said sorry to her and amended my bad and promised her that this will never happen again, but well, I dunno what she really is upto!
And then there are the perfect lives, the perfect stories that are there and then instead of making me happy, they just make me realise, that I am living a life, which has flaws and only that. So much so, that I feel like writing, and all I could come up was this piece of junk post.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Teething Troubles!
One of my father's closest friend is the President of the Rotary Club here in Delhi. And rotary club is known for doing tons of charity and loads of other work for the betterment of the society *NO, I am not promoting them*. One of the project that they plan to under take is "Group Marriage", basically you know getting about 21 couples who are from economically weaker background to have a nice wedding ceremony et all. So when my uncle was talking about this project of yours, my father suggested something else to him as well, something that I believe is totally becoming the need of the hour.
He told my uncle, to have a camp for 'Pre- Marital Counselling'.
There was a time, when the parents chose the life partners for their children and they used to adjust and live through their lives. Times changed, from the rebellion love to today where it is expected that you would choose your life partner. In the words of the old generation 'Zamana badal gaya hai'!
Earlier, it used to be obvious that there would be teething problems, owing to the fact that the two people who are married off with each other being complete strangers to everything about each other. But I have figured that, with the acceptance of freedom of choice, the teething troubles too have increased.
I mean, we know the person who we want to spend our rest of the life with, and we are dating that person for a decent period of time before we decide to take THE step. But, still, we do end up arguing a lot more, the stress level does increase, and at the slightest hint of disagreement, a full fledged argument brews up!
Why is it that as soon as you add 'Marriage' even to the most committed relationship, the equation becomes more and more complicated?
And trust me, I don't think that it is the uncertainty about the person that you are tying the knot to, but more about the 'Expectation' factor that adds fuel to the fire.
And again, the expectation factor becomes a lot more sensitive, when you add the word 'Families' (of both sides) into it.
The 'Us' in the relationship gets a lot wider meaning. There are the parents and the siblings, and the cousins, and the what not.
And even when you just think, and say that 'What matters the most to you is that the people closest to you, the ones that matter, be happy', things just don't work out that way.
Yes, we are living in the times, where even a 'Live- In Relationship' has been interpreted as a 'relationship in the nature of marriage'... but we are also living in the times, where it is not expected that the house will be run on a single salary, but still the parents of the girl, expect that the boy should be earning enough to keep the daughter happy *I mean, isn't it enough that he is readily accepting a tantrum throwing, bad cook, and what not girl (No offence please)*. In the times, when the whole dowry thing is becoming such a taboo and the the couple doesn't even live in the same house as that of the in-laws, there are still expectations for the 'lena-dena' *So many weddings are sponsored by the bride and groom themselves* (again no offence please)...
No wonder with so much happening, and so many things that you dream of about that perfect life, and that little house and everything.. things start going awry and you end up having all sort of weird expectations and even weirder situations. There are tons of things that go wrong.. before and after marriage... and I see all these wrong and dumb expectations in the form of divorce petitions in the courts.
I don't even know, if this post makes any sense, but then, in a bid to you know, understand my thoughts about the whole thing, I spilled it out here. And, really looking forward to what you all have to share with me on this whole thing!
*******************************************
PS: I miss my blog a lot. But having no net connection in office, SUCKS! So sorry for the erratic posting. And, especially the erratic reading. I promise to catch up on everyone's blog, ASAP! This is just a very mad time.
Also, my dear friend Bloody Mary is really unwell, and Kashvi and I are really worried about her, especially since we aren't getting a clear picture of her condition. I believe in prayers and positive vibes, so please pray and send your good wishes to my dear friend! Thanks.
He told my uncle, to have a camp for 'Pre- Marital Counselling'.
There was a time, when the parents chose the life partners for their children and they used to adjust and live through their lives. Times changed, from the rebellion love to today where it is expected that you would choose your life partner. In the words of the old generation 'Zamana badal gaya hai'!
Earlier, it used to be obvious that there would be teething problems, owing to the fact that the two people who are married off with each other being complete strangers to everything about each other. But I have figured that, with the acceptance of freedom of choice, the teething troubles too have increased.
I mean, we know the person who we want to spend our rest of the life with, and we are dating that person for a decent period of time before we decide to take THE step. But, still, we do end up arguing a lot more, the stress level does increase, and at the slightest hint of disagreement, a full fledged argument brews up!
Why is it that as soon as you add 'Marriage' even to the most committed relationship, the equation becomes more and more complicated?
And trust me, I don't think that it is the uncertainty about the person that you are tying the knot to, but more about the 'Expectation' factor that adds fuel to the fire.
And again, the expectation factor becomes a lot more sensitive, when you add the word 'Families' (of both sides) into it.
The 'Us' in the relationship gets a lot wider meaning. There are the parents and the siblings, and the cousins, and the what not.
And even when you just think, and say that 'What matters the most to you is that the people closest to you, the ones that matter, be happy', things just don't work out that way.
Yes, we are living in the times, where even a 'Live- In Relationship' has been interpreted as a 'relationship in the nature of marriage'... but we are also living in the times, where it is not expected that the house will be run on a single salary, but still the parents of the girl, expect that the boy should be earning enough to keep the daughter happy *I mean, isn't it enough that he is readily accepting a tantrum throwing, bad cook, and what not girl (No offence please)*. In the times, when the whole dowry thing is becoming such a taboo and the the couple doesn't even live in the same house as that of the in-laws, there are still expectations for the 'lena-dena' *So many weddings are sponsored by the bride and groom themselves* (again no offence please)...
No wonder with so much happening, and so many things that you dream of about that perfect life, and that little house and everything.. things start going awry and you end up having all sort of weird expectations and even weirder situations. There are tons of things that go wrong.. before and after marriage... and I see all these wrong and dumb expectations in the form of divorce petitions in the courts.
I don't even know, if this post makes any sense, but then, in a bid to you know, understand my thoughts about the whole thing, I spilled it out here. And, really looking forward to what you all have to share with me on this whole thing!
*******************************************
PS: I miss my blog a lot. But having no net connection in office, SUCKS! So sorry for the erratic posting. And, especially the erratic reading. I promise to catch up on everyone's blog, ASAP! This is just a very mad time.
Also, my dear friend Bloody Mary is really unwell, and Kashvi and I are really worried about her, especially since we aren't getting a clear picture of her condition. I believe in prayers and positive vibes, so please pray and send your good wishes to my dear friend! Thanks.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
November Rain
I realised that half of November is gone, and I have not written a single post despite having so many in my mind. This blog is going to the dogs. NOT! I am not going to let that happen. Because, I love this space and this blog has given me much much more than what I can really put down in words.
There was a Diwali post that I had planned, did not even get a chance to be near the computer through the holidays, but managed to maintain the net connectivity thanks to the phone. And then there is the usual series of year end posts that I want to do. And those, I really would do.
The festive season was great, I had my cousins over and my niece and my nephew who I was gonna meet for the first time and it was awesome fun. My three year old niece kept us all on our feet, continuously talking and playing and loving the gifts that were being showered on her from left, right and center.
I also worked really hard to make this Diwali really special because my entire family was with me this Diwali, and the feeling was enough to get me into the festive mood making me soak in the lights and the glamour of the festivities.
On the work front, things are fine. Actually the usual. The most exciting thing being that we have a new intern in office from Gujarat. The seniors in my office are not taking too much interest, and me being totally new (yeah, a couple of months old) can totally understand her feeling lost, especially she being the 'New Girl' in the city. And, I of course have gone through hell in my internships where the seniors were rude, so I am being nice to her and making sure that she is well taken care of. As a matter of fact, she went to this get together with me and I had most of the guys eyeing her (yeah she is very pretty). So this is as exciting as it gets on the work front. And, oh yeah, I heard loads of gossip about Ms. P, my senior from the most unusual source... but since I have no way of verifying it, I let the whole thing go for a toss.
And, now, the November Rain... that was yesterday, when Delhi was in its BEST romantic garb and I was missing Shayon like crazy (the only thing that helped me remain sane was that I was shopping!). The thing is, that because we are working, and well, we do tend to get a lot busy, so we end up not getting to spend too much time with each other. And that is something which is strictly NOT okay with Shayon. I mean it is not either of our fault, but I do have a crazy boss, who told me just the other day that if I want to be successful then I should forget my evenings and that I should be working somewhere around 12 hours a day. I mean, I am freaked!
Right now, life is in a slow whirlwind and I learning how to delicately balance on the beam of life!
And I have this DUMB exam coming up, an I have not even studied for it or started studying for it! I wish that it gets scrapped.
Else, duaan ke bharoe paas hongi!
There was a Diwali post that I had planned, did not even get a chance to be near the computer through the holidays, but managed to maintain the net connectivity thanks to the phone. And then there is the usual series of year end posts that I want to do. And those, I really would do.
The festive season was great, I had my cousins over and my niece and my nephew who I was gonna meet for the first time and it was awesome fun. My three year old niece kept us all on our feet, continuously talking and playing and loving the gifts that were being showered on her from left, right and center.
I also worked really hard to make this Diwali really special because my entire family was with me this Diwali, and the feeling was enough to get me into the festive mood making me soak in the lights and the glamour of the festivities.
On the work front, things are fine. Actually the usual. The most exciting thing being that we have a new intern in office from Gujarat. The seniors in my office are not taking too much interest, and me being totally new (yeah, a couple of months old) can totally understand her feeling lost, especially she being the 'New Girl' in the city. And, I of course have gone through hell in my internships where the seniors were rude, so I am being nice to her and making sure that she is well taken care of. As a matter of fact, she went to this get together with me and I had most of the guys eyeing her (yeah she is very pretty). So this is as exciting as it gets on the work front. And, oh yeah, I heard loads of gossip about Ms. P, my senior from the most unusual source... but since I have no way of verifying it, I let the whole thing go for a toss.
And, now, the November Rain... that was yesterday, when Delhi was in its BEST romantic garb and I was missing Shayon like crazy (the only thing that helped me remain sane was that I was shopping!). The thing is, that because we are working, and well, we do tend to get a lot busy, so we end up not getting to spend too much time with each other. And that is something which is strictly NOT okay with Shayon. I mean it is not either of our fault, but I do have a crazy boss, who told me just the other day that if I want to be successful then I should forget my evenings and that I should be working somewhere around 12 hours a day. I mean, I am freaked!
Right now, life is in a slow whirlwind and I learning how to delicately balance on the beam of life!
And I have this DUMB exam coming up, an I have not even studied for it or started studying for it! I wish that it gets scrapped.
Else, duaan ke bharoe paas hongi!
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