Dear 2011,
I remember penning down my hopes and my prayers in the little red diary that I took with me to Mumbai, last year. I also remembering crying myself to sleep on my much deserved vacation, because I did not want to come back. I just want to live like I am on a holiday and that there is nothing else in life, but that holiday.
But most of all, I remember, jotting down the hope that I had from you and here on this blog page, I wrote:
"Hoping and Praying that this year brings with itself, happiness, success, wealth & health to all of you!
And above all, I pray that this year bring with itself, Faith and belief in the ability of loving others and ourselves."
2010, turned out to be one 'hell' of a year and I really needed some semblance of my little heaven with me for a little while. And I must say that you have not been disappointing in that aspect.
Actually, I wanted to grade you through and through the year in loads of categories, I had as a matter of fact written the entire post down in my mind, but that never really translated into words.
So I finished a quarter of my life. A huge phase of my life got over, just to kick start another. And you know what, just like I started the teens, when I quit the whole big party scene, this time also, I decided, enough throwing parties.. spending time with the people who matter the most.
Yes, I know that I did not grow any wings on turning 25, but I think that I learnt some very important lessons which I would like to keep for life. I am recounting them here, so that I can back to this whenever I feel lost about life and hope:
- About office & colleagues: I remember how happy I was about the people I worked with. But after the merger of the law practice with the big law, firm and me going there and rest of them staying there, and later the cold shouldering leading to the revelation of their evil plans to get me out of the way taught me that, there are no friends and friendships in an office. Yes, you can be helpful. You can be nice to each other, but holding your heart out on your sleeves for the people who can take advantage of all of that is a bad idea. It is good to have a great rapport with your colleagues at work but being superficial is the best bargain.
- About expectations: Of course, this being the whole wedding year, considering that I have just been attending weddings through and through, the deal breaker in the entire thing was, that my bua, while mentioned all her friends who had come from all over the world to attend her son's wedding forgot to mention the name of her nieces, who ran all over the city to help put the wedding together. I know, that we are family, but a word or two of appreciation in front of the entire crowd, would have made me really happy. There is nothing wrong to expect, but then, you should be prepared for the hurt that you may get!
- About Friends & Friendships: I think that the most beautiful relationship is that between the friends. I rediscovered a lot of my friendships whilst making new ones. Somehow, the virtual world gave me another great friend Sharmaji (of Whatthefuckisgoingon blog). About rediscovering friendships, I think, friendship is about knowing and understanding what the other person is trying to say, irrespective of the distance between them. Therefore, I would like to mention here;
Kashvi- I have not really spent time with her. I just forced her to have dinner with me on her birthday! :) But I have heard that she is planning on to make it a point to meet one friend a week. I think I will adopt that resolution too!
Su: The busy mommy! However, I know that I have whatsapped her like at real odd hours, and she has nothing but the best to tell me- Always!
Harshita: Now, she has the knack of disappearing, but of late she has been around more often, normally writing about the things that matter the most, and sometimes not that much!
TUIB's: Sadi, doctor sahiba! I think, I can read her, and see her smile and OMG- Her cultural upbringing is AWESOME!
Then there is my COW, who randomly pings me, when ever she has a minute! I think that I had the most fun when I met her in Moo-mbai :) She has been one hell of a support system back in Mumbai!
Of course, there is Chandni, meri Chandni! Who incidentelly turns out to be connected to me through my younger sister! Talk about the world being strong.
Then the two idiots chud buds Pjs and VY, who have the atrocity to call me at quarter of 10 in the night, when I am half sick and drag me out of my rajai in these cold winters to just have a random chat!
I have learnt that, you don't have to be present 24x7 in the lives of your friends! You just have to be there, because you are friends and that there is a life that they lead apart from you and you also have a life beyond them. And there is NOTHING to feel about that!
*Of course PJ calls me and offers to build me a sleeping place at work!!*
-About 'Downloading from Torrent': I have finally discovered the of downloading the episodes and seasons of my favorite series (english mind you) and then get stuck to the laptop to watch it all. The lesson I have learnt is, that, you have to always move forward with the times, and learn to take risks. I used to be super finicky about using a P2P software, lest it spoils the computer.
But you have to take risks in life. Like it or not!
- About Jealousy: Look at the work Jealousy properly, and you will realise that it has the work 'lousy' in it. And I learnt, that you can either be happy about your life or miserable about your own life because of someone else's life. It took me constant conscious work and I am still working on it- But every time I get sad about someone else having more fun than me- I just remind my self about my own blessings and remind myself, that my happiness is about me and not someone else!
- About rediscovering love: Random conversations. Fights. Not talking to each other. Getting flustered. And, in coping up with our loss, bf and I somewhere, have discovered our comfort zone of being with each other and of loving each other. Not the intense, sexually charged love/lust, but just the fact that we are there with each other. You know, last year, when we were coping with relationship crisis, he had promised me that he will get my smile back- the original 'sakshi smile' and he did! That is the best gift that I got in 2011!
Life in general also, was mostly a roller coaster this year. It was about growing up, both professionally and personally. It was about coping with loss and rediscovering the love that I have for life in general. For some weird reason, FB was flooded with all the 'Happy Go lucky' sort of pictures and messages, that infused a very positive thought in you. And, I also decided to do it all. One way or the other. To live my life on my terms also, and not just on the terms of office alone. And, I have to tell you, 2011, that the whole idiom that keeps on propping up- 'Whatever happens, happens for good' really made it's presence felt!
In one wink, I can relive the entirety of what you were. And, yes, I am bidding bye bye to you, because, I want to open my eyes in the new year, with new hopes and a renewed sense of relief, that Belief and Faith are not just two words in the dictionary, that they do work wonders when you push yourself with their backing to make the wonders work for you!
Thank you for being the year that you were. You will be remembered, for all the reasons, bad and good, but trust me when I say that, you will always be etched in the hearts of the people as the year, wherein people and power became one, where India got the Cricket World Cup, where F1 came to India and where we lost and found treasures of the world!
Lots of love,
Me!
