My poor blog has been bearing the brunt of me being bad mood...so often that one of my freinds actually asked my boyfriend that why am I so distressed.
Whenever I felt that thing in my life were all messed up...I fired away my frustration here. There was hardly any imagination...and I really dont want that the anger and the frustrations become timeless.
Anyways- things arent all that fine here...my exam dates are still in a frenzy...but nevertheless... there always the positive that is to be looked at...
So the good news is that I finally got myself into an internship in a big law firm called Desai and Dewanji. Its based out of Mumbai... and they have an office here in Delhi in C.P. I went there today...its a cool place and loads of young crowd... and I dont think that I'll have to wear black and white always. Now, I am just hoping that things work out fine there.
My love life is also going great. Shayon has been very sweet and caring lately...maybe we both are maturing...jesus..growing old...huh...!!! But really love can make you feel on top of the world... and that is what happening... I feel that I am falling in love all over again...and its a great feeling...!!!
And recently I realised that I can blog... that too nicely...!!! Labyrinth has been doing great too... a few comments here and there have been coming. From being a techo,personal blog Labyrinth has become a political blog... The recent developments in Indian politcs gave me huge amounts of input for putting up blogs motivated by the stupidity of our dear leaders. The cherry on the top is becoming a guest post writer...or now almost a permenant resident of The Wall Mag. And my first blog entry is creating a buzz out there...its also political... but I am planning to analyse the love bug there..soon...!!!
So that is what is making happy... its good to know that I am feeling good...!!!
Cheers...!!!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
How and why...of being in Love...!!!
I wish I knew why I put such a weird title on this post. Ok, Maybe because after a looong loong time I felt like writing and talking about being in love.
Actually, I dropped on this Blog and apparently this female is having a hard time coping up with the distance between her and her boyfriend. Theirs was a normal realtionship till... usual stresses of Jobs did that to her. Plus, I have been watching a lot of TV and there is lots of mushy mushy romance happening there too... and well.. around me... I seem to have the cutest couples cuddling up to each other despite the sticky humid hot weather.... It makes me go crazy crazy ...
I too am in a long distance relationship... and not from now..but from forever..at times.. seeing my friend (my best friend) go on dinner,dates..etc makes me feel that my relationship is a tad bit unreal to myself... but the moment my phone rings and I hear his voice... all the hardships of being in an LDR just vanish. Its like... a sweet fruit of patience that you get after a long day of work.
I have been in my trealtionship for like three and a half years... and when anybody wonders...I tell them that sanity abstains from you when you fall in love. The truth is that now, my patience is also running out...its becoming really mad for me to stay away. I am banking on the idiom that patience is a virtue and that virtue lands you with the sweetest fruit.
Right now, I can give anything to be with him.. but I know that its not possible... but I do know what being out of your head means...
That means being in love...truely madly and deeply....
Actually, I dropped on this Blog and apparently this female is having a hard time coping up with the distance between her and her boyfriend. Theirs was a normal realtionship till... usual stresses of Jobs did that to her. Plus, I have been watching a lot of TV and there is lots of mushy mushy romance happening there too... and well.. around me... I seem to have the cutest couples cuddling up to each other despite the sticky humid hot weather.... It makes me go crazy crazy ...
I too am in a long distance relationship... and not from now..but from forever..at times.. seeing my friend (my best friend) go on dinner,dates..etc makes me feel that my relationship is a tad bit unreal to myself... but the moment my phone rings and I hear his voice... all the hardships of being in an LDR just vanish. Its like... a sweet fruit of patience that you get after a long day of work.
I have been in my trealtionship for like three and a half years... and when anybody wonders...I tell them that sanity abstains from you when you fall in love. The truth is that now, my patience is also running out...its becoming really mad for me to stay away. I am banking on the idiom that patience is a virtue and that virtue lands you with the sweetest fruit.
Right now, I can give anything to be with him.. but I know that its not possible... but I do know what being out of your head means...
That means being in love...truely madly and deeply....
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Why Me...?
The most rational answer to that by many of us would be... cmon girl you are not the only one...there are others as well.
In this case I completely agree that there are lakhs of students suffering.
My exams got postponed. I have already given three papers, two more and I would have been a free bird. But, it seems that God has a different plan for me altogether. This is the start of the sawaan ka mahina...and the kawadias go to Haridwar to get water from the holy Ganges to the Shiv temples. The best part about it all is that they go walking all the way. They go in hoardes and jam the national highway.
And yeah, I study in a college affiliated to Meerut university and my papers come all the way from there. Thus the two exams get postponed- till... GOD KNOWS WHEN. This is so so bugging. Ok, not only for me..for all of us. Its like being stranded 5 miles from civilization without anybody bothering to send someone for rescue despite the fact that they can see you are helpless. Its so silly. You have faith...you belive in rituals ...freaks do it... but dont strand US people like that.
I wish..there was something that I could do... but unfortunately all I can do is get angry with everyone including me..for ruining my own life...
I wish...
In this case I completely agree that there are lakhs of students suffering.
My exams got postponed. I have already given three papers, two more and I would have been a free bird. But, it seems that God has a different plan for me altogether. This is the start of the sawaan ka mahina...and the kawadias go to Haridwar to get water from the holy Ganges to the Shiv temples. The best part about it all is that they go walking all the way. They go in hoardes and jam the national highway.
And yeah, I study in a college affiliated to Meerut university and my papers come all the way from there. Thus the two exams get postponed- till... GOD KNOWS WHEN. This is so so bugging. Ok, not only for me..for all of us. Its like being stranded 5 miles from civilization without anybody bothering to send someone for rescue despite the fact that they can see you are helpless. Its so silly. You have faith...you belive in rituals ...freaks do it... but dont strand US people like that.
I wish..there was something that I could do... but unfortunately all I can do is get angry with everyone including me..for ruining my own life...
I wish...
My First Cheque...
Its the feelings that count...not the amount...
its the hardwork that counts and not anything else.
I have worked before also. But that was just to supplement my pocket money... and plus at that time I had nothing better to do. I had just started with law and I was hardly studying any subjects regarding the same. And the understanding of the same was a little less than what it is now.
But about a month ago I took up some work which related to my profession. It was not thru and thru lawyers work, it was just legal translations that I did for a research project, which were mainly related to crimes against women and various other issues related to divorce,dowry etc.
The work was tedious , lisening to the recordings and then typing out their literal translations with a proper format. But nevertheless it was some work.
Yesterday, I recieved my first cheque for that work. It was a great feeling to know that you are worth something, even if it was little.
Sometimes life has its way of throwing towards your way, little little happiness that make memories a worthwhile affair...!!!
its the hardwork that counts and not anything else.
I have worked before also. But that was just to supplement my pocket money... and plus at that time I had nothing better to do. I had just started with law and I was hardly studying any subjects regarding the same. And the understanding of the same was a little less than what it is now.
But about a month ago I took up some work which related to my profession. It was not thru and thru lawyers work, it was just legal translations that I did for a research project, which were mainly related to crimes against women and various other issues related to divorce,dowry etc.
The work was tedious , lisening to the recordings and then typing out their literal translations with a proper format. But nevertheless it was some work.
Yesterday, I recieved my first cheque for that work. It was a great feeling to know that you are worth something, even if it was little.
Sometimes life has its way of throwing towards your way, little little happiness that make memories a worthwhile affair...!!!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Can't dream enough... Time to hit the reality....
Ok, I have had enough. There is something definately wrong with me.
Al I keep on doing the whole day is day dreaming about landing in a nice job in a jiffy and that too in Mumbai. Ok, I really wanna be in Mumbai, as of now atleast coz, its been like 8 months since I met my boyfriend. Love is surely far away.
But its not only love...but its the glam quotient with a job that is to be included in it. I day dream almost all the time, make conversations with people I dont even know if I'll ever see. I also make up conversations with my boyfriend... ofcourse I do have the real ones all the time, its the face to face ones that I dream about.
I have been doing that for a long time now. This is the way that I can face the reality of the days that I face everyday. I always say to myself whenever I am boarding the bus, that one day I would own a chauffer driven car and I'll see the bus from it. Or, What or how from whom I would want to get my house made after I buy the house on top of ours.... I dream big.
While the reality is as stark as maybe a white sheet of paper that has been crumpled because its of no use. Today, I dont even have a fixed summer job, forget about making tons of money. My bank account doesn't even have enough maobey to pay for the coming year of college. This time, dad's gonna sign his check. My phone has about 10 rupees in it now... and my exams start in less than a week... I have to hit the floor, and get my act together. I know I am gonna study for my papers... coz that I Do. But, another reality is that- I have no clue where my life is going. There was a time that I dreamt about working with the United Nations. The International Court of Justice, but, recently while studying the UN system, I got to know that you don't really need to be a lawyer to work in ICJ... you just work there coz, you have done some great work. I would love to make a difference in the world... but I also believe that charity begins at home. Let me first try n make a difference in the lives of my parents, get a job n status in society so that I can go and fight for my love. There are so many dreams that are yet to be realised... everyday when I go off to sleep, I think, and hope that when I have kids, me n my husband should never crib over finances. Everyday I hope that the next dawn brings me my oppurtunity ... and that I dont' see it as an obstacle.
No, I am not afraid of hard work. I just dont know how use my skills. I cant seem to give my 100 percent.. and I cant seem to find a way.... why is that happening...is another puzzle in the maze that is already there.
You know, I read this somewhere, maybe one of the forwards.... it says...
That if A=1, B=2, C=3..... so on Z=26... then,
Hardwork=98% and
Knowledge=96% finally....
Attitude=100% but...
its- Love of God=101%
And its this that I am looking for...so that my dreams can touch a lil bit of reality....Amen...!!!
Al I keep on doing the whole day is day dreaming about landing in a nice job in a jiffy and that too in Mumbai. Ok, I really wanna be in Mumbai, as of now atleast coz, its been like 8 months since I met my boyfriend. Love is surely far away.
But its not only love...but its the glam quotient with a job that is to be included in it. I day dream almost all the time, make conversations with people I dont even know if I'll ever see. I also make up conversations with my boyfriend... ofcourse I do have the real ones all the time, its the face to face ones that I dream about.
I have been doing that for a long time now. This is the way that I can face the reality of the days that I face everyday. I always say to myself whenever I am boarding the bus, that one day I would own a chauffer driven car and I'll see the bus from it. Or, What or how from whom I would want to get my house made after I buy the house on top of ours.... I dream big.
While the reality is as stark as maybe a white sheet of paper that has been crumpled because its of no use. Today, I dont even have a fixed summer job, forget about making tons of money. My bank account doesn't even have enough maobey to pay for the coming year of college. This time, dad's gonna sign his check. My phone has about 10 rupees in it now... and my exams start in less than a week... I have to hit the floor, and get my act together. I know I am gonna study for my papers... coz that I Do. But, another reality is that- I have no clue where my life is going. There was a time that I dreamt about working with the United Nations. The International Court of Justice, but, recently while studying the UN system, I got to know that you don't really need to be a lawyer to work in ICJ... you just work there coz, you have done some great work. I would love to make a difference in the world... but I also believe that charity begins at home. Let me first try n make a difference in the lives of my parents, get a job n status in society so that I can go and fight for my love. There are so many dreams that are yet to be realised... everyday when I go off to sleep, I think, and hope that when I have kids, me n my husband should never crib over finances. Everyday I hope that the next dawn brings me my oppurtunity ... and that I dont' see it as an obstacle.
No, I am not afraid of hard work. I just dont know how use my skills. I cant seem to give my 100 percent.. and I cant seem to find a way.... why is that happening...is another puzzle in the maze that is already there.
You know, I read this somewhere, maybe one of the forwards.... it says...
That if A=1, B=2, C=3..... so on Z=26... then,
Hardwork=98% and
Knowledge=96% finally....
Attitude=100% but...
its- Love of God=101%
And its this that I am looking for...so that my dreams can touch a lil bit of reality....Amen...!!!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Directionless....n motionless....
That is life for me... yup...
Maybe I give up too fast..really or maybe dont try hard enough. Either ways...the prospect don't seem so happy... as of now.
The tone is pretty suggestive that I am kinda flustered....actually I am very flustered... It seems that the brand name Shayon's Labyrinth is not working it out.... anyways I cant seem to figure out the complicated widgets on the page...and therefore...all my efforts to blog out...seem to go in vain. I have been getting no comments... and that is not really encouraging me. What with Shayon getting a new job and his job profile discouraging the readers venturing out on the labyrinth. Ok... not directly..but yeah...indirectly. Fuck man... that makes all my efforts go down the dump. Or maybe, the stupid celebs...taking over the web world are drawing more traffic... what with Amitabh Bachchan blogging shit about his co-workers...and now, Lalu Prasad Yadav..is gonna blog too.... management I suppose. Sometimes its really lucky to be lucky... and am hardly that.
Believe it or not... My end Sems for his semester are nowhere insight... the good part is that I dont have internship to join on a committed date... I would have been screwed that ways...(wow, I have really started to look at the brighter sides....!!! Whatever happens...happens for the greater good....!!!)
Yeah... I should be looking at the brighter side... most of the people out there would love to switch places...what with getting up late... watching TV, reading novels... and just lounging around... Ideal life... but like they say...grass is always greener on the other side...the world works that way.
I am not feeling on top of the world... and well... and yeah at some deep level down there... I am kinda jealous about my best friend landing in an internship... and my Bf getting a dream job..even though it doesn't pay big. Now, dont get me wrong...I love em...and I am happy for them... its just that had I known..what direction am gonna take except being lazy I would have been happier...
This whole thing is freaking me out... coz at some level, my parents are gonna freak out too... I am sure even if the grades are up, they don't want a loser for a daughter.
Sorry about the crass crap... somehow... I lose ears around when I need to talk...so am just punishing my beloved page.
Sometimes, I wonder...do movies really reflect life...?? Can we expect a happy ending after all???
Maybe I give up too fast..really or maybe dont try hard enough. Either ways...the prospect don't seem so happy... as of now.
The tone is pretty suggestive that I am kinda flustered....actually I am very flustered... It seems that the brand name Shayon's Labyrinth is not working it out.... anyways I cant seem to figure out the complicated widgets on the page...and therefore...all my efforts to blog out...seem to go in vain. I have been getting no comments... and that is not really encouraging me. What with Shayon getting a new job and his job profile discouraging the readers venturing out on the labyrinth. Ok... not directly..but yeah...indirectly. Fuck man... that makes all my efforts go down the dump. Or maybe, the stupid celebs...taking over the web world are drawing more traffic... what with Amitabh Bachchan blogging shit about his co-workers...and now, Lalu Prasad Yadav..is gonna blog too.... management I suppose. Sometimes its really lucky to be lucky... and am hardly that.
Believe it or not... My end Sems for his semester are nowhere insight... the good part is that I dont have internship to join on a committed date... I would have been screwed that ways...(wow, I have really started to look at the brighter sides....!!! Whatever happens...happens for the greater good....!!!)
Yeah... I should be looking at the brighter side... most of the people out there would love to switch places...what with getting up late... watching TV, reading novels... and just lounging around... Ideal life... but like they say...grass is always greener on the other side...the world works that way.
I am not feeling on top of the world... and well... and yeah at some deep level down there... I am kinda jealous about my best friend landing in an internship... and my Bf getting a dream job..even though it doesn't pay big. Now, dont get me wrong...I love em...and I am happy for them... its just that had I known..what direction am gonna take except being lazy I would have been happier...
This whole thing is freaking me out... coz at some level, my parents are gonna freak out too... I am sure even if the grades are up, they don't want a loser for a daughter.
Sorry about the crass crap... somehow... I lose ears around when I need to talk...so am just punishing my beloved page.
Sometimes, I wonder...do movies really reflect life...?? Can we expect a happy ending after all???
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Have faith...!!!
I had started a post earlier....in continuance of the quicksand post... but then apparently I could not finish it...
There are some reasons sometimes that make it possible to have faith...in yourself or on the Almighty or both..well that completely depends on your perspective of a situation. It always comes down to - Your own Perspective... doesn't it... maybe it is difficult for a another to understand your actions....(Maybe that is why we have the word Jusitification in the English dictionary...!!!)
Anyways... things arent really that down you see... the whole thing about you being happy coz your significant other is makes sense ... Shayon has finally joined a job (I dunno what link to use on his name.... Labyrinth or his job, so here are both...!!!) He maybe not earning as much as all his batch mates are... maybe lot lower...but I sure am happy that he at least has JOB SATISFACTION, that is very rare to find.... thanks to his job though... I got promoted to being the sole manager of Labyrinth, so that is not bad... maybe I can conjure posts on law... and help out ppl... interning right from my own house... but that is not what I want to do... I write... www is a huge publishing place... have your own .com to publish your thoughts on... even greater ... but then reputed law journals...they are a league of their own... lawyers...are old ppl....they get famous with the increase in whiteness in their hair... and I know that they are not exactly blog savvy...even if they are comp savvy...
Anyways... another good thing that happened to me was, that I recently got my Fifth Sem result... and trust me...I passed with flying colours.... I was a nervous wreck about my result...but thanks to Vandeep, and his advice of having faith... the experience was not that horrifying.... but then that realization always stays with me.... that what use is this result...which could'nt even counjre up a internship for me...!!! That is the reason that at times I go into rage... especially now...everybody around me is working...some form of summer job... and here am consoling my open wounds that things will change for the good... have faith...!!!
So this is where I am... having faith in what... I still dunno...though I pray everynight... that my faith which is already treading thing grounds...does not completely melts like ice... on the first day of spring....!!!
There are some reasons sometimes that make it possible to have faith...in yourself or on the Almighty or both..well that completely depends on your perspective of a situation. It always comes down to - Your own Perspective... doesn't it... maybe it is difficult for a another to understand your actions....(Maybe that is why we have the word Jusitification in the English dictionary...!!!)
Anyways... things arent really that down you see... the whole thing about you being happy coz your significant other is makes sense ... Shayon has finally joined a job (I dunno what link to use on his name.... Labyrinth or his job, so here are both...!!!) He maybe not earning as much as all his batch mates are... maybe lot lower...but I sure am happy that he at least has JOB SATISFACTION, that is very rare to find.... thanks to his job though... I got promoted to being the sole manager of Labyrinth, so that is not bad... maybe I can conjure posts on law... and help out ppl... interning right from my own house... but that is not what I want to do... I write... www is a huge publishing place... have your own .com to publish your thoughts on... even greater ... but then reputed law journals...they are a league of their own... lawyers...are old ppl....they get famous with the increase in whiteness in their hair... and I know that they are not exactly blog savvy...even if they are comp savvy...
Anyways... another good thing that happened to me was, that I recently got my Fifth Sem result... and trust me...I passed with flying colours.... I was a nervous wreck about my result...but thanks to Vandeep, and his advice of having faith... the experience was not that horrifying.... but then that realization always stays with me.... that what use is this result...which could'nt even counjre up a internship for me...!!! That is the reason that at times I go into rage... especially now...everybody around me is working...some form of summer job... and here am consoling my open wounds that things will change for the good... have faith...!!!
So this is where I am... having faith in what... I still dunno...though I pray everynight... that my faith which is already treading thing grounds...does not completely melts like ice... on the first day of spring....!!!
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