So I have been 30 for a little over 6 months. And to say that turning 30 has had no major impact on me will be an understatement. Each day (okay, almost everyother day) I have been evaluating and re-evaluating my life and the life choices that I have made. All of a sudden the fact that I am a walkover hits harder than ever, and that losing weight has become imperative, and that it will not be as easy as it was earlier also makes me shudder.
Today, I came across a list on website called Vagabomb
, and decided to adopt my own version of this about what I thought that I would be at 30 and what I am. This will be give me perspective and hopefully, help me too.
So here goes nothing:
1. My Own Car
Technically my dad bought me one, years ago, but it was him who paid for it, and I still haven't bought anything that is "costly" per say. I am married, and we do have a car, but then again, technically, it is not my car.
2. A Child
More like children. But then, maybe somethings are not meant to be.
3. A house
This is a joke. I think, the day I started earning and the day I started doing real estate transactions, I figured, I'll never ever be able to buy a house unless there is a windfall, and as luck would have it- No windfall. Then, I moved to Mumbai, and till the time there were no hopes for coming back, I cried my eyes out a lot because owning house in Mumbai meant starving yourself to death for a matchbox.
None. Nil. Nada. Whatever little I have, that is because my father forces me. Else, I am broke and am hardly making the ends meet.
5. Sorted Finances
The story of my savings can pretty much state the story here. There are loads of things that I would like to do here (like an SIP/Mutual Funds investment), but then either there is no impetus or the liquidity is always crunched. I hate myself for this.
6. Career which pays me in millions
The money that I make is roughly, very very less than what my fucking peers are making. Am I happy about the situation. NO. Is there any one I can blame for it? No. Only myself. My career has been a yo yo since the day I got married, and there is absolutely no one but my stupidity to blame for this.
7. Choice to retire
I am making the corpus but I have been told/seen- Lawyers do not retire.
PS: The corpus may not be enough.
8. Culinary Skills
Thank God this one is under my belt. I can cook. And cook damn well. I only wish, I knew how to chop the veggies too ;)
9. The ability to buy Groceries
Since I can cook, I can pretty much get by. Except I had grocery shopping.
10. Eat a Fruit a day
I try. I really do.
11. Still thin and Strong
I was never really thin, per say, but I was definitely slimmer, and at a much better space at the time I got married. That was almost 5 years ago. Need a revival here.
12. Healthy Hair and Skin
Still working. And the hairfall WONT stop.
13. Saree Sagas
I can tie a saree. I can carry a saree. And I love sarees. One more feather in the cap.
14. High Heels
Wedges are workable. Pencils upto 3 inches are still okay, but the 5 inch and upward battle has become a war. Flats, are the best bet, and the reason for the same: My weight.
15. A Louboutin Shoe/A timeless Piece
A timeless fashion piece which is not a rip off. Okay, I do have quite a few of BFF's label (and they are good), but one fashion piece/ bag/accessory from an established brand bought by my own money would just make me feel so adult.
16. Regular Medical Check -Ups
I am usually okay, and I don't hate going to doctors, but the regularity of the health check-ups could go up.
17. Making conversations
I know I can talk. But I blab. I still don't know how is it that someone who can blabber like crazy can't make meaningful conversations? I still don't know, how is it that things that make sense to me in my head don't make any sense to me when I speak them out! And you would think that wiseness comes with age!
They become worse with age.
19. Unwanted hair
Waxing arms and legs, and still the hair grown unabated. Now I even have chin hair to take care of.
20. Make-up skills
Another skill that I have learnt!!!! I do decent make -up, and spend money on it too. But still find it tedious to put kajal in the morning to go to work.
21. Travel Goals
My ponly foreign travel still remains - The Honeymoon that we had gone for. Of course I have been pining for a foreign holiday, but thank God to the travel bug, at least we travel in India.
22. A wardrobe
I have clothes. Most of them hand me downs and/or gifts from various aunts and my mother. Putting together a decent wardrobe is an expensive affair.
23. A happier me
Age has done exactly the opposite.
24. A more structured schedule and better time management
I am still running like a headless chicken at times, trying to co-ordinate things and micromanaging them. I would really like to sleep less, and be a tad bit more active. But alas, that is still far away. Far far away.
25. More independant
So, while I hail to be a modern woman, it is still really hard to shop without my mother/husband, and even harder to take minor decisions. A simple "what should we eat for dinner" is a three way call between my maid, me and then between me and the husband and then between me and the maid.
26. Less Anger
If only wishes were apples. Instead I am touchier than before.
27. A group of friends that are super solid and in the same city
There is a lot of ambiguity here.
28. An activity that I love and stick to
I dance. But- I still can't make up my mind about joining a dance class.
29. More patient
Work in progress.
30. Being Me and Knowing me
I really did think that I will have a very sorted life once I have adulted, and since by 30 you are officially running against your biological clock, you are an adult. But- forget being sorted, I think, my life is more complicated than ever. While I fend off the "why the dog and not a baby", from relatives and friends who are popping kids, I can't seem to figure out what is it that I really want. Life is a bitch, and I want to cry all the time.
These are my 30 things. And if you want you can pick this up too!