One of my father's closest friend is the President of the Rotary Club here in Delhi. And rotary club is known for doing tons of charity and loads of other work for the betterment of the society *NO, I am not promoting them*. One of the project that they plan to under take is "Group Marriage", basically you know getting about 21 couples who are from economically weaker background to have a nice wedding ceremony et all. So when my uncle was talking about this project of yours, my father suggested something else to him as well, something that I believe is totally becoming the need of the hour.
He told my uncle, to have a camp for 'Pre- Marital Counselling'
There was a time, when the parents chose the life partners for their children and they used to adjust and live through their lives. Times changed, from the rebellion love to today where it is expected that you would choose your life partner. In the words of the old generation 'Zamana badal gaya hai'
Earlier, it used to be obvious that there would be teething problems, owing to the fact that the two people who are married off with each other being complete strangers to everything about each other. But I have figured that, with the acceptance of freedom of choice, the teething troubles too have increased.
I mean, we know the person who we want to spend our rest of the life with, and we are dating that person for a decent period of time before we decide to take THE step. But, still, we do end up arguing a lot more, the stress level does increase, and at the slightest hint of disagreement, a full fledged argument brews up!
Why is it that as soon as you add 'Marriage' even to the most committed relationship, the equation becomes more and more complicated?
And trust me, I don't think that it is the uncertainty about the person that you are tying the knot to, but more about the 'Expectation' factor that adds fuel to the fire.
And again, the expectation factor becomes a lot more sensitive, when you add the word 'Families' (of both sides) into it.
The 'Us' in the relationship gets a lot wider meaning. There are the parents and the siblings, and the cousins, and the what not.
And even when you just think, and say that 'What matters the most to you is that the people closest to you, the ones that matter, be happy'
, things just don't work out that way.
Yes, we are living in the times, where even a 'Live- In Relationship'
has been interpreted as a 'relationship in the nature of marriage'... but we are also living in the times, where it is not expected that the house will be run on a single salary, but still the parents of the girl, expect that the boy should be earning enough to keep the daughter happy *I mean, isn't it enough that he is readily accepting a tantrum throwing, bad cook, and what not girl (No offence please)*. In the times, when the whole dowry thing is becoming such a taboo and the the couple doesn't even live in the same house as that of the in-laws, there are still expectations for the 'lena-dena' *So many weddings are sponsored by the bride and groom themselves* (again no offence please)...
No wonder with so much happening, and so many things that you dream of about that perfect life, and that little house and everything.. things start going awry and you end up having all sort of weird expectations and even weirder situations. There are tons of things that go wrong.. before and after marriage... and I see all these wrong and dumb expectations in the form of divorce petitions in the courts.
I don't even know, if this post makes any sense, but then, in a bid to you know, understand my thoughts about the whole thing, I spilled it out here. And, really looking forward to what you all have to share with me on this whole thing!
PS: I miss my blog a lot. But having no net connection in office, SUCKS! So sorry for the erratic posting. And, especially the erratic reading. I promise to catch up on everyone's blog, ASAP! This is just a very mad time.
Also, my dear friend Bloody Mary is really unwell, and Kashvi and I are really worried about her, especially since we aren't getting a clear picture of her condition. I believe in prayers and positive vibes, so please pray and send your good wishes to my dear friend! Thanks.