Saturday, February 24, 2007

What am I gonna Do??

My class is going on.. behind me. The tution that I take. I have my Hindi end sem on Monday, and I have hardly studied for it... beat it.. and I still manage to come online and do a post.. how utterly irresponsible of me.

But who cares... or I care...its just that Hindi is not getting into my head and I cant seem to accept the fact that its been over a week and I havent gotten any reply from the places that I had applied in for my intern. Worst still, after 28th of feburary. I have no absolutely no source of income whatsoever and I have no clue how the hell am I gonna mange to shift to a lifestyle of a penniless person person from that of a 3000 rupees a month pocket money lifestyle. Do not gimme that expression... I have never in my life gotten pocket money. This money well.. as it happens was the nominal amount I used to get for teaching the kids in the centre. As per my last post things have soured out and apart from that I have to do an intern..(this does not pay).

Wondering what lifstyle am I talking about- one and a half years I have almost got a top up in my phone daily because I have to talk to my boyfriend. I talk to him everyday.. for almost a hour. But it seems that now that would have to go down ALOT.. and its a scary prospect. Because in his college lights are off most of the time, and he has to do lots of stuff and cant come online as per my time table and neither can I meet him online as per his timetable... or probbaly we can work out something.. its damn scary.. and I just cant figure out a thing...!!!!

ANY suggestions??

What am I gonna DO???

Saturday, February 17, 2007

End defines the means....

This was once a very great topic of debate... I am sure that it is still a big topic cfor debating.. but the first time I encountered this topic, I was in 8th class and english was my FAV subject. Anyways that time I tried to understand this this topic, and All I got was that this topic is something that would require lots of thinking.. and I dont have that kind of time, so I'll opt for the other topic.

This one liner today means a lot to me and I understand the value of this line and hence realise that this often puts us in a situation where we are facing conflicts between the motive that has a good outcome and the principles that we have been bought up with. Today I am facing this conflict. Though... this is a temporary situation but well... I have to talk to somebody... and that happens to be the www.

The tution centre where I teach the 10th class students, happen to be unappy with the Maths teacher, who is the co-owner of the centre. Now, coz of distractions they have been coming to me for the tests in science. This has come into the knowledge of that co-owner and I happen to get into trbl... because I knew that there they were going at a loss... and my motive is not wrong... and its a matter of a month.. n then I am outta the tution job.. for good.. well was it wrong on my part to entertain their problems outside the tution centre?? After all... all I want is that they should get good marks.... and that happens to be a prioirity for them as well as me...

In this case- End does define the means??

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I am....!!!

What am I?? Who am I??

Well... these are those spiritual questions for which the yogis do sanyas for years.... for finding the reasons for the existence of their bodies on this mighty earth...!!!

Well... for me.. I have made life simpler, I am the very first "Sakshi"/witness of the love that my parents have for each other. I came in their lives to give them joy... to make em realise that their love has finally culminated. And tomorrow that is in future... looong time from now, when I'll have kids.. then.. I'll know that life is beautiful even with diapers and tantrums.

And well.. my reason for being here on earth... hello?? I just happen to be an amzing person.. and that is good enough reason for being what I am...

Isnt this much simpler than freezing on the Himalayas...;)

Monday, February 5, 2007

Are You ready to change?

How would you rate the word change??? Good , bad, average or maybe you have your own opinion which defines change for you…!!!

The hardest part about Change is the change itself…. When you are so used to doing something and that change, it alters everything…..from the way you see things to how you perceive things to how it ultimately makes you adapt to things that are new to you…!!!

To be very frank it was very hard for me to change my way of looking at things… or rather my way of doing things. But one thing led to another and I finally managed to change and that change mind you bought with itself lot of hope and good luck. I have a knack of keeping things from the past… something that might be responsible for making me a clingy person. I had almost all my books and notes from like 5th standard till 12th standard stored up for reference… u know, “The what if I need them sometime in the Future….” syndrome.
But finally I let go of it all… because I finally put a fact in my head that The so called reference that might be in the future has no time efficiency and it may be today or it maybe never.

These little things that changed me, also made me throw away my past that always made me realise that I have been a loser… and that losers do not dream. So much so, this little exercise that I did to clear away the mess in my study table cupboard cleared my head to an extent that I finally made myself a promise that whatever happens I will not ruin my present or my future with my attitude of clinging to things that cant be changed and thinking about those I’ll ruin my chances of having a good time now and tomorrow.

It was very hard.. and there were no visible results for almost two years, but today as I am sitting in my veranda, soaking the sun, I look back to the two years that have gone by, I realise that the whole thing started by me pulling away all my guards and sharing a part of the pie of my life to my present boyfriend, an acquaintance then. For all the moments that we spent together just talking about our pasts, and how to improve our present, we fell in love, and I who was just so not in to long distance thingy, fell in a LDR.. and that trust me changed everything for me….!!!
And I am very happy.

Like somebody famously said;

“The only thing that is constant is change”

Are you ready to change… ??

Saturday, February 3, 2007

Manual for Love.....

Its already 3rd of Feburary and love is in the air....the month of feburary brings with itself lots of pinks and reds.. and ofcourse in the season when the flowers boom and spring is round the corner.. the Cupid looks for all the possible targets that can be hit by the arrow of love....!!!

Next week, on the 7th of Feb, International Flirting week commences with the rose day seeking to increase the rate of roses from a mere five rupees and ten rupees to a whooping 50 rupees a rose....!!! And this week encompases The Hug Day, The kiss day.... chocolate day... ofcourse there is a slap day.. and sorry day.. and finally the festival of love The Valentine's Day...!!!

Keeping up with the trend of the growing popularity of the Valentine's Day... all the news papers and the magazines start up their 101 tips on how to maintain relationships, on how to flourish romance in the ongoing relationships.. and much more.... The advice coloumns see a marked up increase in the number of problems coming on their way.... The best books that can be bought during this season are probably.. Why are men from Mars and Women from Venus.. or Why do women cry and men cant read maps...

An insight into the relationship of two people who are in love with each other. But how are these rules prescribed by the experts good or bad for you?? Trust me, I am in a relationship and well.. I have taken every quiz that has come in the News paper... but the results do they really matter??

The fun of having a relationship wherein you are the boyfriend and the girlfriend, is to sort out your problems within yourself, to understand the relationship yourself... between the two of you... what would be the difference between this relationship and the others, when you want the perspective of a third party where the two of you are involved....

Of course nothing wrong with taking a second or a third opinion. But when these advices go overboard, and start weighing more than what you think about each other... and about the whole situation.. its time to take control... This is what my opinion is.. and trust me I do that. I have had a very bitter experience when a third party was involved in a problem between me and Him. This might and might not be true for you....!!!

Is there a formula you can follow so that you have a perfect love story.... ahem... A perfect Love story never exists... if its perfect then its not love.. because love is the bonding of two imperfect souls to make a chaos of the lil dream world that they seek.. satisfaction, happiness and above all.. the feeling of togetherness and yeah.. love....!!!

Happy Loving...!!

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Behind the Scenes....

If everybody will become an actor then how will one produce a movie?? Who would direct it.. and finally who would come and watch it... you yourself.. the producer, the director, actor and finally the audience too.. isnt that too many a roles that you are playing??

Ofcourse there is nothing wrong in being the jack of all trades... but then there are masters too right...!!! Since we started with the movies.... the making of a movie... well.. its not a job that is easy and the results that we see on screen is the effort of lots of people who have worked behind the screen to give a hit that you would carry from the cinema hall back home in your hearts. These people sell you dreams... and there is a whole lot of people who work in the factory where dreams are produced.

And in life too often when we dream they are shown to us by lots of people who come along our way, who in a way work behind the curtains contributing towards the movie of life to make it a sensational hit. These are the people who define the winning moments of life.. and these are the people whom we forget to thank... not you.. even me... I am no super human.. and ofcourse there are so many people that you bump into during the 24 hours that go by in a day that its hard to stop and say thank you to everybody.. especially when the results of the eveident encounter come years and years later.. but then.. dont we thank God.. and that is probably the easiest way to thank all those who you bump into....

Isnt this kinda becoming too spiritual a lecture...?? Ill leave this reight here with these famous lines from a Shakespear poem The seven ages...

All the world's a stage,And all the men and women merely players,They
have their exits and entrances,And one man in his time plays many parts,His acts
being seven ages.