Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Have you ever..

Sat and wondered, 
about how life is, and why, 
you are doing what you are, and,
why you are not doing, what thy neighbours are. 

Have you ever sat and wondered, 
why it feels like life is a roller coaster, 
when you hate the thought of getting on one, 
in the most loved theme park? 

Have you ever sat and wondered, 
about why you believe, and why, 
despite it all, you have the faith? or, 
why in that Harry Potter series, 
it was only love which prevailed, and
why in real life, only persistence and will, 
will prevail. 

Have you ever sat and wondered, 
why despite your best intentions, 
everything fucks up, 
and why, just, OH LORD why, 
things never work in your favour. 

Have you ever sat, wondered and questioned, 
the beliefs that you felt were instilled, 
not by your family or friends, but,
by the self help book, which claimed, 
that the universe has it ways, and if you really, 
really want it, it will come your way. 

Have you ever sat and wondered, 
about, why are you always in a conflict, 
about why, you want your cake, and eat it too, 
about being jealous of people who seem to have it all, 
while you are still struggling, 
travelling 30 kms in one haul.

Have you ever sat and wondered, 
when you were told about being "lucked out", 
why is it that you are always out of luck, 
and even though you know that, 
there are ones in situations worse than you, 
you can't empatise, and still wallow about you! 

Have you ever sat, wondered, and hoped, 
that things will be set right, 
and life as we had dreamed, will, 
finally be realised, 
and all, will be okay. 
One can after all, sit, wonder, and hope against hope!

Have you ever sat and wondered...about why it is home that you always want to come back to,about how it is that kiss at the start of the day that lifts you up.about how that one tight embrace at the end of the nights makes everything feel worth it,about despite all the despair, it is only the love that helps you conquer it all?Have you ever sat and wondered, that you've probably lucked out on love.Love, that prevails. 

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

The Curse of being a Harry Potter Fan

So yes, I read the "Cursed Child". And NO, it is NOT written by J.K Rowling. It has been written by two people who have appearently written a lot of great screenplays, and believe me when I say, that it would have definitely looked really great on stage. (Did you know that they screened the thing live from London at Habitat Centre, New Delhi.. I did not even know that things like this even happen.)

So, the thing is that it is a reharsal script. It is therefore written like a rehearsal script. And it is at the end of the day "fan fiction", where the playrights have used their imagination to take forward the story of the Deathly Hallows. Deathly Hallows leaves us with an Albus Severus Dumbledore Potter asking his father about how his life in Hogwards is going to be if he gets sorted into Slytherin and the reassurances that he gives by saying  that he is named after two Hogwarts Headmasters; one was a Slytherin (Snape) and possibly the bravest man he ever knew. Harry also confides to Albus that the Sorting Hat takes the student's own choice into consideration, as it had done for Harry when he was Sorted - something Harry has never told his other children.

Despite the original ending being so amicable, the Cursed Child talks about the failing relationship of Harry Potter and his middle child, and his best friend Scorpious Malfoy. While, it is all good that a Potter and a Malfoy become “best friends”, the animosity shown between the families seems to be a little over the top.

I am a biased reviewer here because, I have read all the Harry Potter books with a devotion of a fan. From all the reading that I have done, I think, (and I also believe devout fans all over the world) would not be able to relate to the Potters, Weasely-Grangers or the other characters that have been shown in the “Script”. One of the major flaws of the “script” was to show that Ron and Hermione know about Snape’s real loyalties, despite the losing the battle of Hogwards (where Harry dies). But, if we go back to the original story at Deathly Hallows, we find that Ron, Hermione and Harry only get to know about Snape, once they realise that Nagini is a horcrux, and they stumble upon Voldemart killing Snape once he figures out why the Elder Wand won’t obey him.  This is where Snape gives his memory to Harry. The alternate reality in the “script” deviates from this plot.

And this may or may not be counted as a blooper, but it surely is a turn off.

And for all those who bought this thinking that it was written by J.K. Rowling, people, read the news reports. For the fans who are in love with Harry Potter, while we would love to know what happens next (and await this news), read the Cursed Child, as an independent fan fiction only, because thinking it to be anywhere close to what J.K. Rowling created would only disappoint you. This is the curse of being a Potter Fan!

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

13 going to 30!

It even sounds weird!
"Hi, I am 30!"

I mean I know and I have heard enough about the "age is nothing but a number", but it is weird when you sit back and realise that all of a sudden, you are neither in your traumatic teens, nor in the drama twenties, but you are suddenly thirty.

It is like entering the teens. All of a sudden you are a kid and then wham bham you are teen. And in all hoensty, your twenties are usually an extension of your teeange years.You are in college when you are 18, 19, and 20 (and even more if you are in a professional course or pursuing your masters!). So you are being taken care of, you are being paid a pocket money or you are doing odd jobs to support your passions and even when you are fresh and out in the world to do a proper job, you are full of adrenaline and enthusiasm to take over the world.

Suddenly you are 25. And if you are in Delhi, that is a BIG deal because now you can officially go drinking. And by the time you end reveling in your quarter life crisis, you are 27, all of a sudden it is all about getting married (you may also be married for a year by then!). And by the time you realise that your life has suddenly changed, from the teens to the twnties, from school college to work, from single to being married (and being a parent too in some cases), you hit the thirty mark.

You are expected to grow up. To take up responsibilities like they are sacrements and always, always make sense of all the decisions that you take. Whether it is about your marriage, your family, your career, everything. It is like, from a scale of 1 to 10, (1 being the lowest), you are allowed a margin of error of (minus) 1.

Is it like changing everything overnight? No. But it surely does instil the feeling of "change". It makes you feel inadequate.
When you are 30, you tend to look back, and look back alot (or at least I do) and assess about what all have you achieved.
Unfortunately, the society has put the assessment in a straight jacket of: marriage, family, kids and career. And as you assess against these you have a panic attack, because, you are failing. If not in all, then definitely in one (and if you are the kinds who has it all- then, please share, how?).

While I have definitely not failed the complete assessment, I also know that maybe things could have been better. But, jab jaago tabhi savera!

I think, the most important thing in my life that I have done and am proud of is finding my dear darling husband. He will disagree to say that, we fight like maniacs, so how can he be my best find? The fact of the matter is that, while I assess my life in the societal straight jacket, I am grateful to have found someone who is willing to change the norms, and who is willing to question everything (it does get annoying.. but..) . It makes life a little bit more exciting when we have a million apps to satiate our hunger for binge TV watching or when we just take the car and find ourselves at places like bhootgaon!
Of course life is up and down and I am not particularly happy about reaching an age where I am judged because my uterous has aged more, and us having kids has become a conversation starter. But, I am here now and I can't really help it!

I think, what I take back from my last 30 years is that while I have effectively changed as a person, from being totally hopelessly unsatisfaioed, angry teenager to a little less of the same, I am slowly becoming into my own person. I am blooming maybe a couple of years late. But I am blooming. From cooking awesome food, to learning how to argue better (respond and not react), from realising that mornings have always been under-rated (especially post the rains!) and that exercising should have been started at least 2 years ago.. from the emotional, and financial mess to trying to untangle the mess by taking control of things.. it seems that there is a lot of catching up to do. All the things (including relationships) that have been taken for granted need to be rebuilt. And these are the tasks that have been cut out for me/Us!
One more task that is just for me, is to learn patience and satisfaction. There is no dirth of things that are happening with people in my so call friend list, and I need to stop assessing my life against them. I need to learn the art of letting go, and embracing whatever comes my way. Another thing that I have to learn and accept is that even with the closest of people you can't expect them to completely change and/or adjust to yourself, there has to be a middle ground. Maybe it is time to get into meditation, and to move towards a little bit more stillness. And by that I mean, grounding your emotions to train your mind to not have oscillating emotions. To think through situations and to really be able to assess the consequences of the words coming out of my mouth. To be less angry, less unsatisfied.
This would be like a emotional rehab for me, I may lapse and re-lapse into my old patterns, but I have to try. I have to be a better person, a more solid person, because it seems that, this is what is holding me behind and has husband doubting my skills to be a grown up.

While, I try to be zen, I will also try to dance to on the crazy songs, just to remind myself that life maybe a struggle, but as kids, the most we worried about was the homework and the vacations, and how life was simpler.

Happy 30th to me!