Saturday, October 30, 2010

Father of the Bride

It is hard being a grown up. You have responsibilities, you have to earn, you have to take care of everything. And in midst of it all, you don't realise when your kids grow up and start sharing your responsibilities, and slowly the next generation has taken over.

But if you are a father of a daughter, you have one major thing to do. To marry off your daughter and send her off with a person who you hope will love her and cherish her the way you have. And being a daughter, I know it in my hearts of heart that no one can match the love of a father towards his daughter. And I personally feel, that since the mothers go through the whole leaving their parents house when they get married, it is the father who has the hardest time in believing that his little girl is all grown up.

Daddy's Lil Girl! 

My father is no different. I still can't forget the day people started seriously questioning his intentions about getting me married. His face just became so so small, and he just gave a weak smile. And whenever I think of that moment, I know I am going to howl myself hoarse at the time my doli will be leaving.

My dad has never really treated us as grown up.. me and my sister.. we are his spoiled brats and even though we do our share of responsibilities, we both just know that the moment dad will get a chance he will treat us like a kid. I still don't take decisions, even simple ones without first asking him. I know on the inside he realises that slowly the time is coming, and he has joked with me a million times telling me that I can reach the mandap and decide not marry at all.... and tell every one that 'mera aaj shaadi karne ka mood nahin hai!'. I know how deep rooted his fears are, about the person who I am going to marry, the family that is going to accept me and how far will I be from him.. but his fears also border on the facts that young people marry rashly and end up getting a divorce *he has had his share of experience in the court rooms*...

Add to this, that stupid Sony Handycam Ad that comes in every commercial break... you know the one that shows the father reliving all the moments of his daughter and then in the last scene she is married and she comes to say bye and her dad says, "I can't believe you are married" and the daughter hugs him and says "I am going to miss you papa" . I choke every time I see that god damn Ad.

Even though, I have always wanted to get married... you know like Geet in Jab We Met... "Mujhe bachpan se shaadi karne ka bada shauk hai" types, it is the realisation of leaving my father and my family behind that makes me cry and shed tears, every time I think about it.

I dunno what is gotten into me tonight.. but right now, I wish I was back being the new born in fathers arms and that I was yet to grow up.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Epic Battle of Career and Family!

"Making a Niche for yourself in the Profession, in the male dominated profession.."

This was a line out of a conversation that I had with Ms. P. She is 29. She is round, but pretty, stays all alone in Delhi for the last 9 years. I am not going judge her, but I do have to mention that at times, with the way she is, I feel that she is never going to get married. Something very common for female lawyers, or so I have been told when we both started to have the usual Career v the Family debate.
Not that this thought has never been drilled into my mind, *My mother always cribbed that no one marries a lawyer!* and with what Ms. P told me, it seems to be true. According to her, none of the top female lawyers in the Supreme Court are married. And when I raised my eye brows and looked at her knowingly *my boss is married, and she is a top notch lawyer* she just passed me a little wicked smile of hers, parked the car on the side way and took a fag.
All I did was, sigh, and shake my head. My boss is married. Here are the details- She got married 16 years back to a German. *She is in her late forties* her husband stays and works in Germany. For three times in a year they spend time together, and how-
When she is Germany *Which is mostly in the Summer Vacations* she can't really work. And when he is here *Which was like 10 days in October* she is in office also and she is working also. *Now you understand why I got the wicked smile from P* oh, no she doesn't have kids. Have parents back at home who are old and have their own schedules.
Even though she is successful, she is intelligent and an awesome lawyer and a person, at the back of my mind, and somewhere don in my heart I feel sorry for her. I know what it is like to be in a long distance. And, it almost wrecked Shayon and me, and after marriage, I know that I would NEVER ever want to be in a situation where he and I meet in our holidays.
This is the reason why, she never leaves office before 8 in the night and almost never gives an off even for festivals. She has no one to go back home to. Yeah, you can go back home to your parents, but then having that someone special to go back to each night, that is a different thing altogether.

Take the case of the other two juniors, they both stay on their own. M is a guy and as far as I know has a zero social life. The only social life I have seen of P is when she goes out with her friends drinking. But with an attitude that says that they are all below her and she is OMG so busy. Take for instance now, P's mom is here, and the way she is spending time with her mother *who she has met after so many years* had I been her mom, I would have had a broken heart.

And then there is me. Who has dance classes on Sunday. Likes to leave early at around 6.30ish because I  like to spend an hour with Shayon before heading off home. And I have a life. Thus am considered the most incompetent in the office. Ms. P has her fundas clean and clear and says that she cannot have a career and a family. They just don't go hand in hand.

This on the other hand has got me thinking a lot about why I cannot have a normal family and have a career? Why do I have give up one in order to have another? I know, being a career oriented woman means late nights at office, and less time spent at home.. but then, I am sure that if you do have your priorities right, you can have a high flying career and a family too. A normal marriage with children.
Or is my mind taking a leap into a weird direction? and this is not at all possible.

And how do you really define a high flying career? And what would you do with that career if at the end of the day you do not have the people who love you to share your success with?
Shayon and I have often wondered when will we have enough to enjoy the life that we always wanted to...but there is no definition to what 'enough' really is.

I know that I wanted to be a high flier like Zia Mody (She recently got an award for the Best Corporate Lawyer) but I also know that even though she is married and she has kids, there is no real family that she has. And, somehow, I am not ready to pay that price.
I know that I want to be a great lawyer. But at the end of the day, I also know that when I come back home, I want to spend my evening lounging around with the people who matter the most to me in my life. Any success that comes at the cost of love is hollow for me.

And I want to prove Ms. P wrong. I may not become a great Litigation Lawyer, but I will definitely become a great lawyer and have a normal loving family!
I want this for myself!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Where there is a Will..

There are no property disputes! *Yeah that was my attempt at bad humour!*

I am not going to give any legal gyaan.. but talk about the, THE most important event that made India shine, the Commonwealth Games 2010!!!!!
Yeah, we pulled it off, and in what grandeur and style. I must say that, it was a success story truly written by the Volunteers, the athletes and the Police...
When I saw the Opening Ceremony on my Television I was mesmerised I was watching it with my mouth hanging open all the time. And all through out the Ceremony  kept thinking, "Jab agaaz itna dilkash hai toh anjaam kiasa hoga?"
I went for the Cultural events that were being organized all over the city, and I was taken aback.. *I was of course expecting superb performance by all the Artistes, but it was the audience that left me in amazement* because, last I remember, the Delhi wallas, did not really had the taste or the patience to sit in plays, in dance recitals, unless they had someone of their own performing.
But, all the places were jam packed. That was the enthu that the people of Delhi had!

I also had gone for one of the Athletic event at the JLN Stadium, and I was lucky enough to be there on the day when the Discuss Players (Women) won all three medals for India. The crowd went mad, everyone sang along the National Anthem.. it was one of the kind moment to experience in your life time to see the Tri-colour waving three times over. And after that, the celebration music was 'Maa Tujhe Salaam' and OMG we sang like, we are the next Indian Idols!
And then there was the Closing Ceremony- And, I dunno how my mother managed it, but she got a couple of passes and I saw it live at the Stadium.. and I have never hooted so loud in my life! Of course the Closing was not as big as the Opening, but it was wonderful, and the last half an hour when all the Singers came and made Delhi go mad was total Paisa Wasool!

And the end of the two weeks, I got thinking, that there was not a single day when I got stuck in bad traffic, or for that matter of there was anything out of the ordinary that we do not see in Delhi. As a matter of fact, I found that the Delhi drivers were actually following the lane restrictions and there was lane driving happening. The crowd which always gathered for some event or the other, was never badly handled, the people were actually talking politely.. and there was a certain calm in the city. A sense safety that surrounded the who atmosphere.
But then, as soon as the games were bid bye, Delhi was back at being the brat that it is. I mean, why can't we the people of Delhi, be the way we were all through the games? Why can't the Police do its job the way it had done all these days. These are just the MOST little of things that we have to do, like, using the public transport, being polite, respecting the Rules of the Road, driving properly and being polite to each other. And, no one can stop Delhi from being a world class city.

I give the entire credit of the Success of the CWG 2010, to all of us, who made sure that the Games make us Shine, and the values of Atithi Devo Bhava are followed to the fullest!
The moral of the Story is that 'Where there is a Will, there is a Way', now that we know the way, and the result of following that way, we have to find that will in us!

PS: Chandni gets the credit for this post, I was not gonna brag about the success of the games, but after reading her, I could not resist!

PPS: Before I forget- Prosperity, Love, Health to all from Maa Durga! and Shri Ram! Happy Durga Pujo & Happy Dusshera to all of You!
In the other news, me and my current partner in Dance Class have been wowed too many times for our connection etc! I am all dancie dancie about it! :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Tell her this

Hi! I know, I do not write much on this blog. But then, I stumbled across this particular track while watching Scrubs, today, and the first person that came to my mind was Sakshi. So, couldn't help but share the lyrics, out here. It's called "Tell her this", by Del Amitri.

Tell her not to go
I aint holding on no more
Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time

Tell her not to cry
I just got scared thats all
Tell her Ill be by her side, all she has to do is call

Tell her the chips are down
I drank too much and shouted it aloud
Tell her something in my heart
Needs her more than even clowns need the laughter of the crowd

Tell her what was wrong
I sometimes think to much
But say nothing at all
And tell her from this high terrain, I am ready now to fall

Tell her not to go
I aint holding on no more
Tell her nothing if not this; all I want to do is kiss her

Tell her something in my mind
Freezes up from time to time.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

The Colour of the Curtains!

Office has been mad lately. Mainly because, Ms. P, my immediate senior has decided to tun into a witch and a back biting bitch. So, things have been on a hot burner as far as office is concerned. But hopefully things will be back to normal soon! And the courts are off for a week! But alas, the vacation is not for lawyers... the office is open!
This is the bad part of life, right now.

A lesson that I have learn't from the events that have unfolded over the entire of the year that has gone by, is that, advise should only be taken from the people who understand the nature of the problem. People who claim they are your friends, would never do something that would hurt you.. and lastly, it is a hard life, and there are tough decisions that you have to take all the time, and the only way to make those tough decisions much easier on yourself is to know and to have the person closest to you with you.. supporting you.

You all out here told me a million times that, things will be just fine, once he is here in Delhi. And, I was the pessimistic one, almost the one who was so sure that things will fall apart for me. That there will be nothing more but misunderstandings that will be magnified.
Thus to all of you (Especially To Su & TFD), you guys kept pushing me and hearing all my bouts of dumb stupid things that I had to say.
And, today., I salute and thank you for being so optimistic about my love life! Thank you! All of you all who commented and told me that all will be fine.

No, we do not meet every day. That is not a possibility, because we both are working, and both have the tendency of getting stuck at work... but yes, we do meet up for the lunches, and those coffees and we have had couple of dinners too. Sometimes, its hard to believe that I am with him. And sometimes, I just thank God, for being nice to me.

Today, was one of the overwhelming evening that we spent together. We had gone shopping for household stuff. I mean, I have been after his life, to do something about the house, to do something about the house. And, today we both managed to land up in a store and shopped for things that I have never really shopped for. *My mother selects this kinda stuff, all we do is nod in agreement, it is a catch 22 situation when with her.*
So we picked up curtains *Meaning, I chose them, and he gave his opinion and well, we did end up agreeing on the curtains* and Bed Sheets *Well, we both had a little tussle over the colour and the brightness of the bed sheets*  Pillow covers * Thank god, this was the only thing that he agreed to without giving too much of his opinion*  Hand towels *There was a lot of why do I need them about this, but I made him buy it never the less*
And we had a major difference of opinion over the Cushions, which we DID NOT end up buying, btw, he never wanted to buy em, but I wanted to, you know, I like Cushions! There was a lot of if and buts and why. And finally when he did agree, he was not too enthu about it and we left it there.

Because Shayon stays alone *His flat mate is not really interested in anything that has anything to do with him working around the house, so alone.* and he still doesn't have a bai, I have to go and now do up the house...

And it feels totally weird, there was a time, hen Shayon I know never really cared about these little things. I know for sure that he cleaned up his hostel room once in like 2 months *Well, he was hardly in his room any ways!* and totay we are shopping stuff for his house. There is still a long way to go till we have that properly set up home.
But never the less we are trying? Aren't we ?

And, oh, The Curtain in his room is yellow and orange stripes. ;)

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Missing Pieces

Life is a puzzle,
or so it is said, so often,
as you sift through, and
move on,
the pieces join in,
to reveal the master plan..

In this big journey of life,
we often fail too see,
the most obvious,
with our naked eyes.

We miss the pieces,
that complete us,
and give a meaning,
to the otherwise mundane,
journey of life.

I threw away a piece,
thinking that it was nothing,
but a misfit,
but by God's grace,
I found my missing pieces..

As I held you in my arms,
and kissed you for being re-found,
the hazy picture that was,
became a clear window,
into the world afar!

There is a big puzzle now,
to complete,
but it is not mine alone,
now its 'Ours' to complete!