Monday, September 30, 2013

The reality bites

And often bites too hard. I wonder if you have felt betrayed by the reality of life.
I wonder if you have ever day dreamt yourselves into believing that all will be in sync.  That all will be,  well.

I hate being the pessimistic, negative thinking creature. But life is not giving me any reasons to really be optimistic.

I wish.

Monday, September 16, 2013

My lips like "Sugar"

I have grown up a year.
I am 27. Quarter life crisis are at their peak.
I am married. I have gained weight and I can't fit in my clothes.. :|

But, I have a husband who loves me like crazy. And he has added to the joy of being a getting us a golden lab puppy.
Her name is Sugar... and she is naughtiest, the most troublesome little cutie pie that I have come across. She pees the whole day all over the house, and despite all that we do she poops in the house too. Husband and I are like these over fussy parents running behind her cleaning behind her and scolding her every time accidents happen. I get up at least twice during the night to check on her, and she has this weird habit of waking up at 4 am in the morning with an expectation that we will get up and play with her.

Both Husband and I are learning the nuances of parenting and above all learning major lessons in being patient with each other and being patient with her. And whenever I see him, cleaning up behind her.. holding her, loving her, being overtly protective about her.. I realise that, whatever he says, he is going to be an amazing father.
So, while, we are closing in on to completing a year of being married, we are re learning the lessons in unconditional love, in being care givers and above all lessons on being a couple all over. 

Monday, September 9, 2013

Time runs..

This weekend was  spent in Delhi. My home. With the parents and the sister and the super best friend.
The last four days were a whirlwind. And even though I did not call or checked in anywhere because I did not want to announce that I was in Delhi, I felt that the time just vanished somewhere.

This time more than ever, I realised that things were just as I had left them. Yeah, the dry cleaners shop has been renovated and so has the best friends house. But this time, it was mostly about sleeping and chilling the way I used to before shaadi.

There was a paath followed by langar in the colony gurudwara for my birthday. This happens every year. I stayed over at the best friends house and bitched all night long about everything under the sun. Something that we almost always did and still do over the phone. I had almost all my meals at home, with my grandmother checking on to me in the morning to wake me up. Something that was always the ritual. Every morning for as long as I remember, dot at 8 am on a weekday and at 9 am on a weekend, she barges on our room and tells us.. It's time to wake up. More so on the weekdays, because it's office for me. I mean had it not been for her, I would never reach office on time.

My mom gossiping with me.. Trying to fix the kitties and the school stories. Dad, talking about the court, about work and in general making sure that I do the work that I am supposed to.
All seemed like it was the way it has always been. I still called the husband at night from the bathroom. But, nothing was same and all had changed.

One time yesterday, I was on mom and dad's bed, sitting in between them, and sister standing next to dad leaning on his knee, and arguing with mom, while I am fiddling with me phone, and adding the fuel to fire in the argument that mom and sister are having. My dad was smiling away to glory and remarking, this feels so nice. And almost at that instant, I felt that nothing has changed and we are still in 2012.
But all has changed.

Time is running it's course and I am almost married for a year.

My homecoming is an event and even though I love the fact that mom and dad and everyone else makes or tries to make time for me, I can't wish being jealous of friends who have both their families in the same city. I need to learn to  balance. But, I don't know how to. Or like the husband would say, that I don't want to.

Seriously, the farewell every time is with a lump in a throat and the bitter sweet knowledge of the fact that,  while I leave parents, sister and a life behind. I also have the husband waiting on the other side to hold me in his arms as I mope because I am back.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Just perfect

A couple of years back, I tried to throw a birthday party, and it flopped. Hardly anyone showed and that was the end of the Birthday party at home.
The year after that, the party was at the club, with all the cousins and a few friends. It was also the birthday on which the husband had proposed me and like they say, sealed the deal.

And yesterday was a step further. I am cynical to say the least about my birthday  and this was my first in 27 years without my parents or couains or the BFF around. The thing that I forgot was that, it was also the first as a married woman in house with two men, and a husband who loves me like crazy, even though he drives me crazy most of the time ;).

From cards, to books, to a superb hand bag, to 4 cakes to awesome lunch and an even more splendid dinner at one of the best Coastal Restaurant in the country (Dakshin, ITC Maratha) and not just us, it was the friends and family that really mattered to me,  no to us. I was surrounded by love. And while we swapped our stories, about childhood, experiences and just the general banter we were being treated to some great food. My father in law and husband split the hefty bill and I sat there wondering why.
(One of my Dad's aunt yesterday commented that while I was turning 27 in the biological years, I was turning 1 year old in the new family, and just like the grand 1st birthday that my parents did for me, so was this Birthday grand in its own way..)

I being me asked the husband why.. And all he said was "if not for you then for who". And I cried, with joy of course.

I know that we have our own set of things and issues that we deal with everyday. And I have often been told and I also belive that relationships and marriages are not just two people being together.. It's always a work in progress. And while we invent and learn about the newest ways to make each other miserable by the virtue of being married..
These perfect days become the memories that I will treasure for the life to come.

Thank you my dear Patidev, you truly are a catch ;) and you are the best thing that has happened to me.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Just Another Day..

The husband has been telling me that I get really frustrated whenever we talk about my birthday. 
I told him that is not so. 
The reason that I just don't get excited anymore is because I can't deal with the disappointment that ensues after I get excited about something special.
The experience of the past says it all. Every time I expect, I end up being disappointed, and hurt.
So when it is alleged that I am frustrated.. It is not entirely true.
It is just the slight irritation at the fact that I am being told to get excited, when understandably thanks to the past I know that it will be just another day.