Thursday, September 29, 2011

Conversation with the Moon- II

In mood for a conversation,
with the moon,
the friend, confidant and,
so much more...

I see in him, the distance,
that vanishes into thin air,
because it is the same moon,
that You see there,
and I stare here!

I see you in the Moon,
I wish, I could just reach up, 
right there..
And touch you!

Oh! how I wish,
I could, close my eyes,
and murmur a wish..
to close this distance between us,
to hold you in my arms,
for each night, 
My dear moon, seeing, HIM
in You just doesn't suffice!

In the magic of the moonlight,
when the fairies dance and 
love blooms in full might;
My dear Love,
come hold me, sway me..

and take me away, in a new world!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Let the Festivities BEGIN!

MY most favorite part of the year has officially begun!
The Navratras and Durga Puja, kick start the festival season... and Oh BOY! Ain't I in my usual, festival spirit! :)

Even the stupid economic crisis that I talked about in my previous post can go take a hike. Because, even if I am not celebrating the festivals, the whole spirit of the festivals just gets to you. It is the time to be happy and thankful for all that we have got in life. And, the happy spirit that these festivals infuse in all of us, makes up for the crappy times that have gone behind.


May Maa Durga, bring us all lots of Happiness, Prosperity & Peace!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

I am Okay :)

It was just a rant, the previous post!
A sleep deprived me often talks like that!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

September Update II

Like I say, life is nothing more than a couple of bullet points and loads of ramblings. Things happening each day.. and I sincerely wish that I could record each one of them. But then, there is the lazy me, who likes to sleep more than anything... therefore you get the updates!

I am alive. I am sure that much you all gathered from the opening lines. Currently, I am in Gurgaon, at my Bua's house, getting things set for son's wedding! *Praying to God, that this goes off without a hitch, and everything is a big success!!*
So, I have been helping out in the shaadi shopping. And, I have never EVER explored Chandni Chowk the way I have done for this wedding. So much so, now we have a fixed shop to buy the saree and the lehnga! ;) Yeah, yeah, I am gonna buy mine from there too! You know, I just love the way the shop keepers sell their stuff in Chandni Chowk, it is overwhelming to see these numerous shops, just selling similar and in lots of cases, same stuff, but each one of them has some fixed customers, who will come to them in the end! But it is a crazy world in those small shops, and smaller roads!

By now, most of you all must have read, commented and gotten over and maybe even followed the blog of madam Madrasan. Trust me, when I read it, I was enraged. Beyond anything. I agree about the Delhi boys being super asses.. but then the way she has pointed fingers at the entire culture of north India is an absolute disgrace. I feel that it is people with this kind of mentality that make sure that, the diversity in our culture instead of becoming our strength becomes our weakness! But she has gotten enough footage for the last one week, and now, she has finally broken her silence on that blog of hers, that is gonna be another major week of nothing but more footage to her! Before you start waving the fundamental rights ka parcha at me, responsible actions are fundamental rights, seditious acts to break the nation is a serious crime!

Hmmm, today while going to C.P. today, my Bua put a rupee in the 'shani ka daan' (in the name of the God of saturday, you give alms to beggars) and I generally remarked, "Bua, kiska shani bhari hai.." cant really explain that in english.. any ways, this remark got me a nice long lecture telling me that, this whole planet, and kundli thing, should never ever bother me! That is the last thing that I should be concerned about, ever in my life. I should just think about leading a happy healthy life! This sort of put a lot my fears to rest. Because, those who know  me, also know, how much this astrology thing has troubled me, as far as my relationship with the bf goes! Now I am more determined than ever to go forward with the person who I know, will make me happy.

Talking about the bf, I think the scientists claims about the men PMSing is true! Every month I deal with his maha moody behaviour. And it almost sympathetic, because, in the next week odd, it is my turn to PMS! Ridiculous couple we are. But nevertheless, I just pray that we have our share of happiness.. soon.

Now, I'll zip on to office!
Did I tell you guys that no one really called me from my Ms.M's office to wish me on my Birthday? Well, Mr. MDR did call, at around 11 in the night. And, I told him that, I was offended that no one remembered that it was my Birthday. Of course, bf told me to not to care.. and it was then that I decided, that, I have had enough. I cannot mope about the people, who don't care. And who don't bother. At all. Unfortunately for me, there is no way to totally avoid them, being the part of the same organization and all. I just hope that my contact to them remain minimal.

And, since we are talking about jobs and careers, I did not clear the god damn judiciary exam, and I am slightly disappointed at myself, and I am really looking for a new job. If any of you knows, a law firm or a corporate where I can work in the legal department, just let me know!

Rest all is good! hopefully a meaningful post shall come up next time!
Till then, miss me!

Monday, September 12, 2011

The hare & the turtle story!

Facebook has become such a necessary hazard.
This is how you remain in touch with people, you get to know what is going on their lives, and above all, despite the distance, you end up feeling a part of the happy moments in the life of the people with whom you once shared certain moments of your life!
But for a person like me, it is a tool, that makes me depressed and is the easiest way to make me jealous.

Yes, I am human too.

See the thing is, that I see, so many things that are happening in people's lives. They are holidaying. They are having family functions. They are changing jobs, they are in general having fun.. whereas, looking back, as to what even facebook shows, I have singing the same song over and over again. The words may be different but, the meaning is the same.

On a totally random note, there is no picture of me, for my 25th Birthday. This is totally depressing!

Any ways, coming back to the two faced knife called facebook.
Now, recently, I thanks to FB, got to know that Shayon's very first boss, who runs a start-up, got engaged. Like ENGAGED. Not in a relationship, not a new girlfriend.. or anything- Simply engaged. Now, this guy, even though, very nice, has a history of having many a girlfriends. And now I see his status as engaged.
I am happy for him.
And then suddenly..
I am jealous. I am angry. And I am flustered.

Because, after almost 7 years of being in a relationship, bf and I are back to the square one. He and I are in different cities, again. There is absolute uncertainty about whats next.
The mundane existence is killing me.
Bf doesn't have time for me. It's like we are always on a different time, despite the fact that we stay in the same country. Yes, we are working around that, No, there is nothing wrong in the 'Love-Land' per-se. But, I am feeling very restless.
I don't know, what tomorrow holds for bf and me in terms of marriage. All of a sudden, I am very scared, that in a bid to make everything right something will go wrong.
And I am blabbering.

In one line- I think I am ready to take the next step in our relationship. And, the wait is becoming unbearable.
Almost every one is getting set to get settled, start a new life. And here I am stuck where I have been.
And there was a time, everyone was sure that, we would be the ones to take the plunge first!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Delhi High Court Blast : Just Another day in the life of a terror sick nation!

So the High Court of Delhi was attacked today.
As I write this post there are confirmed reports that 11 people have already died and there are 65 people who are injured and in the hospitals.

The government, is doing, all that it can- Basically meaning, they are nodding their heads, condemning the damn blast. And, I think, that is all that the government is ever going to do.
I am not going to go on the UPA blaming spree, because, I feel, more than the failure of the government, it is the failure on the part of the intelligence agencies.
Unfortunately, they do not have ACP Praduman of the CID fame to lead them. As a matter of fact, barring the CBI, which is mostly investigating, the charges framed for the tainted politicians, and high profile murders, and low profile murders that are inflated to becoming high profile murders by the media, I have not really seen an active intelligence thing happening!

The most of what I saw of them, was for a couple of months after the Mumbai attacks, when there was a back and forth and the buck passing about how despite the information, there was no action on the same.
Actually, I wonder, if the so called intelligence agencies work at all on any information that is given to them. How come, with an average of one blast/ terror strike EACH year, mind you, there is an absolute lack of any kind of security up-gradation at any place in India.

Delhi High Court, was and hopefully now shall be more, secure High Court in India. The other High Courts, I have heard, including the one in Mumbai, has no security measures. One reassurance vide this blast is, that the terrorists are breaching the outside perimeter of the High Court here in Delhi, because, every one OTHER than a Lawyer is frisked, and there are X Ray scanners to enter the court premises; whereas, there are none of these things in the other High Courts in our Country.
And there is a catch here too, no one absolutely NO ONE checks the identity card of the person entering in a black coat and lawyer's band.
And, I being a lawyer am agreeing to it, that- This has a lot to do with the 'Ego' of the Lawyer.

But, saying that, it does not mean that these intelligence agencies should take for granted the rest of the citizens of the country. When I am not in that black coat and the lawyer's robe, I am also just like another human being. Just another face in the crowd.
And today, it was the high court, yesterday it were the main markets of Delhi... from the Five Star hotels, to sadak chap markets.. the value of human life in our country is valued in terms of the so called 'Compensation' announced by either the state governments or the central government.
All the philosophers tell us, that the gift of Life is precious and priceless, but looking around, one feels, that both the preciousness and priceless-ness have gone down the drain.

I know, for all of us, in sometime or the other life will get back to normal. We will rant, curse, and for some time, even follow the security guidelines without fussing; but then what? By the time, life will come back to normal, we will start cursing the security measures and procedures, our standard line being.. "Do we look like terrorists to you?" and "Whats the bloody use of this... the blasts will happen any ways".

But I feel, that, just like for corruption, we all stood together, and pledged, and had debates, that how we should root out the corruption, the same should be done with terrorism. No, that does not in any ways mean, enacting another law. Because, there is no which ways that we can prevent a blast with a new law.
But, what we can do, is-
To demand for a VERY strong attitude from the government *I don't care, if its the UPA or the BJP or the Mayawati*, but the government has to put its foot down and say, enough.
Hang the idiots languishing in the jails.
And like seriously, make an exception to Article 21 of the Constitution in case of terrorists, wherein, no terrorist be represented by the lawyer. *Under the law, you can very well represent your own-self in the court of law, let the terrorist explain why he killed so many innocents and conspired against the state and the country in general*
And, also make an amendment to the Indian Penal Code, where, a terror attack and the terrorists involved in it, be hanged to death. Under this code, and as a general practice and as per the precedence taken by the Supreme Court in view of the Human Rights etc, a death sentence is ONLY awarded in the rarest of the rare case, where the crime is ghastly!
And, terrorism is an ghastly ghastly act, where one person and/or ideology of a group of people, when not acceded to, go on to kill innocent people. Of course, the terror act, is no more rare. It is becoming very common.

Here is the deal;
If these terrorists cry foul over the religion, then they should know that, bloody hell, right to choose the kind of religion that we want is our Fundamental and a Human Right. We shall follow, which ever God we want. And, you asshole fanatics have a problem with religious policies of the government (s); you are more than welcome to take it up with them directly. We are NOT scapegoats.

And people advocating Human rights, for the terrorist, get your stupid fundamentals right. Right to LIVE, is the first and foremost right enumerated in every GODDAMN human right charter and/or law all over the world. When that is flouted by these dimwits for the people, who have absolutely nothing to do with their fight and/or jihad.. they waive all rights of living there and then.

And you know, what is the saddest part, in this whole cycle of terror attacks?
That there will be no one, absolutely no one, who would fight the government, push the authorities and the so called intelligence agencies to go no holds barred on these terror outfits, and send a very strong message to our darling neighbours, that Enough is ENOUGH!
But, you see, we are a Gandhian nation, maybe, we should send, someone to do an anshan in front of the Pakistani Parliament, till they give in to the demand of banning the terror outfits or better still, why not open the borders, and welcome them with open arms, and more innocent people as sacrifice?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Have I grown wings.. as yet?

No, I have grown no wings.
And, today doesn't really seem to be special at all.

I am going to be mean and say, that since boyfriend is not around, there is no excitement in life.. but the truth actually is, that, there is nothing exciting happening. I am gonna go out with two, three (if Kashvi is free) of my real close friends out for dinner. That, we do otherwise also.

I don't feel like, that it is my Birthday today. My boss, Ms. MA, the seniors P,MDR & V, have not even wished me Birthday. Not that I was expecting them to, but, then there was a tiny winy hope that they would. But, then, a wise person has said that, expectation is the killer.

There is no meetha, that has been cooked in my house. On the contrary, there was gheeya for lunch. *Which I don't eat, so basically, no lunch from home either*. Actually, my parents also don't seem too excited about it being my birthday.

Boyfriend, sent me a bunch of roses, and a Black-forest cake last night. Along with it came a card, which started as 'Dear Jaan.... ' and ended with 'I love you'... and I think that it was super funny because, well, because, dad was the first person to read that little card!

The thing that made my day, was the message sent by boyfriend's dad. It is an amazing message, and it just fills me with warmth and love!

And yes, there were the usual calls, meaning, usual people *who would have been killed had they forgotten my birthday* called to wish me! Which is always awesome :D

But honestly speaking, it doesn't feel like that, I have turned 25.
Was I expecting fire works at my Birthday.. well not really, but some sort of excitement somewhere. But, never the less, it is after all my Birthday, and I am sure that this will be a better than the year that has gone by, that there would be loads of stuff to look forward to, and most importantly, like Moo, the cow puts it, hopefully, by next year on my Birthday, I would be getting all ready to take the next big step in life!

So, wings are yet to be grown, as I step into another year and start the quarter life crisis!

Happy Birthday to me! 

Friday, September 2, 2011

Missing You!

Even when I am blind,
I can walk on these roads,
because for 25 years, 
they have been mine!

I walked my first baby steps,
and then learnt how to,
sprint across them,
and today, I drive in my car..

But even in this crowd,
of people, who I know,
the ones, who have seen me 
a twinge of loneliness,
sears me, entangles me,
and makes me miss..

Your hands, which hold me,
when I stumble..
your arms, that support me,
when I am super drunk..

Your kisses, that filled,
my ever so boring, usual,
Your naughty gimmicks,
and your stupid pinches.. 

Each day, that you are away,
makes me long for you,
makes me wish,
to spend, one more day,
in your arms..
looking in your eyes,
kissing you, till, the-
world ends!

Touch Me

The sands of time,
the passing seconds,
re instate in my memories,
that past, the present,
 and that future..

Through the half closed eyes,
I see you, and see that desire,
I see the fire, as you close in,
the distance between us..

The magic of your kiss,
the love of your touch...
the want in your breath...
I see that you want me,
more now than ever...

The vice like grip,
of your arms around me,
the need to possess me,
not only in your heart,
but also in your body..

I want to be to,
possessed by you,
by your love,
by you making me love,
and making me love you back..

Yes, my love,
through the sands of time,
I see you loving me,
not merely in your heart,
but also in your mind,
running me through, not just your body,
but making me a part of your soul.
Republishing this post, today again, for the one I really love, and for the person, I am missing right now! My dear darling boyfrriend, Shayon, I love you & I miss you! Like crazy! This poem, is JUST for you!

September Update

Life has, bloody, become just a bunch iof update! But then again, it is a good thing that I am keeping busy, a bad thing, that I can't write all about it, thanks to the lack of time and then the laziness!
So the bullet update; here goes:

  • I am doing fine :D, well, barring the usual up and downs in the health sector, I am fine.
  • The boyfriend, is also doing great! As I type this out he is on a road trip with his friends, and he is having fun! 
  •  I was in Mumbai last weekend, and it was a blast. Rain played a spoil sport, but, I was sleep deprived, and hardly slept for the three nights that I was there. There is lots to talk about, about the Mumbai trip, so, I guess, that will make for a nice long post, that should come up very soon. 
  • Alright, here is a big thing that very few people know, I for some weird reason, at some mad moment of time, decided that I would like to give Judiciary examination, meaning, that I would sit for the entrance exam to become a judge, and that exam is like, on this Sunday. And, no I am not that well prepared for it. People, for years, just sit and study and do nothing. I decided to take it while doing a regular job. I have no real hopes, but whats life without a little adventure.
  • There is something in the air. My mum has been extremely loving and caring towards me, and she loved the shopping that I did for her in Mumbai. The Boyfriend has also been wow to me lately. And, so has my boss, and life in general. I hope that it continues, for a long long time to come. Amen.
  • I met a 25 yr old businessman, really great looking, who is my client. I turn 25, like really soon. I am not feeling too good about knowing his age all of a sudden
  • It's the Birthday month. Am I excited, yes, I am. I will be of legal drinking age. But, that also means, a quarter of a century worth of living already done. Achievements re assessment doesn't look encouraging! Will, I grow up? Now, that is worth wondering about! 

I know, dear readers, that you all are doing well. And, I promise, I will catch up with the reading as soon as I get over with my exam this weekend. You all, till then, miss me!