Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Party that was...!!!

After three days, I feel, energetic enough to write a post about the grand Party that sister and I hosted for my parents 25th Anniversary.

Have you ever anticipated something, planned for an event, to the last detail in your mind? and if yes, then for how long? I had started planning my parents Silver Anniversary five years back... * yes call me an idiot* but for five long years, I have anticipated what the party is gonna be like, who the guests are gonna be, what exactly will my parents wear, what will actually happen in the part *the ceremonies etc* and, I had shared all this excitement with sister too... no wonder we both were overwhelmed with tears at some point of the party.

Yeah, so, the GRAND party... as aaaaaawwwwweeeeesssssome. I mean it was just the way that I had planned, the way I had wanted things to happen. But, most of all, I know that my parents were really happy. Normally, there would be stress on the hosts, but, they were totally totally happy *touchwood* and they enjoyed the evening even more than their wedding. Yes, I had been wanting it to be that perfect.

Ok, lets see if I can capture it in my words-
The festivities started on 21st itself, when I had my cousins over for the dance practises that lasted late into the night. That was followed by the arrival of the outstation guests... on 24th, when we had the last practise.. there were almost 15 people in the house, who later went to the Hanuman Temple at 11 in the night to get mehndi done. *in midst of all this, there were many shopping trips, and car breaking, lights going at the wrong time and various other glitches that one can think of*
On 25th morning, we went to the gurudwara, said thanks to the Almighty for blessing us with this day. And then, started the madness... there was shopping still left, my mother's blouse was still at the tailors. My dress was at the dry cleaners, my grandmother's petticoat was at the tailor... and my computer was giving me trouble. And, yeah, I needed diyas for the decoration at the hall, and I could not find em anywhere...
Finally around 3, things got a little calm.. Sister and I left for the venue at around 4.30ish. Reached the venue where there was more confusion and chaos awaiting us. There were huge technical glitches that were happening including the sound guy not being able to connect to the laptop... thanks to my cousin and dad's friend, things got a little under control. Sister and I got ready at Dad's friends' house and when we reached the venue.. our first guests had already arrived.. * talk about making an entrance.. * parents came in a little more late... 
We had live singers, with home we had co-ordinated the entire program, and I was praying hard that it does not fall flat because of lack of participation.
The festivities started with a small little shabad again thanking God, and then, we had the groom side and the bride side... There were the shagun ke geet for both the sides... and then came the baraat... where all of the groom side danced and got dad on the stage * surprise on this side were my father's cousin sisters, who danced and were fully charged up* and then came the bride, under a red dupatta... my mamas (mother's brothers) and their wifes were awesome sport.... Now, happened the ring ceremony... and the Jaimala * all through, the singers were singing the songs relevant to the ceremony happening on the stage* and then came the Videos... Sister and I had made a video compiling old pictures of the couple and family and friends that have been a part of their journey.. the theme of the entire anniversary was 25 Years of Timeless Love  *yeah you know where did that come from* oh, I had used, Four Seasons & Jeene Ke Ishaare in the video... and then there was the video from across the world.. basically my Bua and most of family could not make it for the celebrations, and they had sent their messages through their younger son. That was totally dope, especially for the older generation, who well, you know are still unaware... The dance, the cousins, sister and I had prepared an ode to love and we danced on title track of Salaam-e- Ishq, and Sister sang 'Tere Bin' for my parents. Yeah.. there was the first dance by my parents on 'Jab Koi baat bigad Jaaye' and finally there was the cake cutting and popping of the Champagne... 
Sounds easier than what it was... but, now that it is over, I can't stop reliving that day, and the whole preparations over and over again... and I can't forget the tight hugs that my Dad gave me that day, and the next day... his way of saying "I am Proud of "... especially after all the accolades that he has been getting... most of the people said that it did not feel like a silver anniversary at all... it was much much more, and I am glad that I was able to make this day so so so so so so so special for my parents. This is always going to be my favourite party of all.
I am going to leave you all with the little line that I got printed on their invitation cards-
"Love is timeless, it is the memory of the past, the happiness of today & the promise of Tomorrow"

Happy 25th Anniversary...!!!

Monday, June 21, 2010

I am alive

Thriving hopefully.
The day my exams got over, I thought that I would have some, yeah some breathing space to my own self, but alas those are things that are not meant for me.

But that does not mean that I have not been over sleeping.

So, my farewell got over, and I said bye to college. Yesterday, my summer workshop in dance got over and I said bye to R * yeah :(* and to dance class. The reason being simple, that I have no clue where I am landing up in the next couple of hours, forget a commitment for 3 months.
And, I am neck deep in work.
Don't believe me? Ask Shayon, he would be more than glad to grumble about, how nicely I have been managing time, that I have not been able to give him time.
There are two reasons to the said insanity-
a) Census
b) Anniversary

So, now, CENSUS!!! First, I am so totally proud of each and every teacher in this whole country who are a part of this HUMUNGUS project, mind you not the nodal officers, nor the supervisors but the poor enumerator, who went to each house and took down the details of the people residing in the houses. From facing idiots who did not know their date of births to mad people who would not even talk nicely in such a weather.
To top it all, there are 500 other forms that need to be filled, totals to be tallied, and what not to be collated.. yeah we were to sketch a map of the area too. I say we, because, everyone in the house helped out mom for the huge project. And, it is still on.
You cannot believe,what was the latest mistake that the nodal officer took out. He could not accept the way we had written the digit '2'. BLAH.
Oh, and did I mention that there has to be no cutting.. and the work to be neat and clean too. So, basically they want humans to work, like machines * nothing new* with the same precision...stupid stupid stupid

And the anniversary, well, lets not talk about it till it gets done. So many preparations, so many fumbles, and loads of jokes.. especially the one where my dad mocks at me and says that he will make sure that I get married in summers. And, where, I tell my dad, that, I am not getting married if the preparations are anything to go by way of your anniversary preparations.
One whole week of eating out, my tummy going for a toss, its still not normal. My dress, still not ready.. the cards, being sent out till now.. yeah, its a small gathering, who says you cannot have cards for them.
Totally gone amok.
But then, I have been wanting this function for like, 5 years... and have been dreaming of it like forever. I just hope that it turns out that well.

And bearing the brunt is Shayon. I wish I could, just make it up to him somehow. SOMEHOW. Oh, btw, his birthday is coming up.. anything interesting that I could do.
Right now, I gotta rush, atleast my mom's clothes are ready.. finally.
See ya...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Time after time

What good are words I say to you? 
They can't convey to you what's in my heart
If you could hear instead
The things I've left unsaid

Time after time
I tell myself that I'm
So lucky to be loving you

So lucky to be
The one you run to see
In the evening, when the day is through

I only know what I know
The passing years will show
You've kept my love so young, so new

And time after time
You'll hear me say that I'm
So lucky to be loving you

I only know what I know
The passing years will show
You've kept my love so young, so new

And time after time
You'll hear me say that I'm
So lucky to be loving you
Lucky to be loving you
Life isn't perfect, but your love brings my being life closer to perfection.

Monday, June 14, 2010

A Baseball Game out of my Life

You wanna be an honest person? And you wish to go high up the corporate ladder? And you plan to take your sorry patronizing ass right to the top of that ladder along with you? Are you nuts?

This was what my roomie told me, the other day. The reason? Well, being in the marketing side of the businesses, I am responsible for the kind of feelings people perceive, towards the company I work for. And my so-called superiors expect me to quote false figures - for the crowd, for the clients, for fucking everyone! I mean, what are they thinking? Don't they realize that people aren't stupid? Son't they realize that once they are caught lying, not a single soul will ever believe them again?

Yes, I did tell them that. And I was replied to by, "everybody skews a figure there, and a figure here. We aren't the first ones to do it. And neither would be the last ones!" That's when it hurt!

Do you know what hurt me? Not because of what he said to me, but rather because what he said to me was the truth! I am just gonna be 25 in a month, and I have already worked with a couple of companies. And I know it for a fact that my so-called seniors were right!

And then I start questioning myself. I started staring at the crowd with a questioning eye. My question? Simple. Just because everyone around me is a thief, should I turn into a thief too? Should I die hungry, never get a beautiful wife for myself, drop the idea of raising a child who will one day make me proud, just because I wanna earn an honest living?

The answer is simple, I know. I should start a business of my own. But for that, you need dedication. you need money. And you need people who you can trust. And of course, if you focus on your business, you kind of lose focus from your family. At least until your business stands tall. And since you lose focus from your family, since you fail to earn enough just because you manage to run after your dreams, you again lose the chance of getting married to a beautiful wife, the dreams of having a kid who you can pamper to the hilt.

Yes, life's bad. But it ought to know, that I am worse. it doesn't matter what life keeps throwing at me. I keep a baseball bat safe under my shirt, that I take out, make a huge swish at the ball life's thrown at me, and then start running. Yes, I am on the run now. It's time to hit the base, before life gets the control back in it's own hand. Sadly, my hit wasn't hard enough, last time around. It couldn't be hard enough for a home run. Yet, I shall keep running.

Strike 1!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

No more- College Tales.

School is the foundation on which we learn how to study. It is the first path that takes us closer to the person who we are eventually.
But, it is the college, that truly shapes our hopes, forges them with our dreams, and help create a reality that is closest to being the person that we are. We enter college, with dreamy eyes, and even bigger hopes of being that 'someone' closed in our eyes.

A normal graduation course is 3 years, almost all professional courses extend to four years (barring Medicine, I am still not sure how much do they study) and then comes the Law school, half a decade of seeing the same classmates going to the same college. From being a dreamy eyed teenager, we come out as Legal eagles ready to conquer the world.
Five long years.

When I joined law five years back, it was a struggle to get up, catch a bus, and then go to college. The countdown to the final day at college started the first day I attend my classes. But, nothing in this world could have prepared me for the actual day.
It was our college farewell ( We were not even expecting a farewell, btw) today. The function was one of the best that I have seen in my college. Not only me,my entire batch was out of breath seeing the arrangements that juniors had done. There were the usual speeches, and the DJ, what more was there were the titles that were given by our juniors to us, and the ones that we gave to our teachers.
* I got the title of 'Ms Punjabi Tadka'* .
And, I cried too. I cried because, today the final realization that life is no more in a schedule, that my next step is as far away as god only knows what, and I cried, because, I felt the sadness that filled my heart, as I left my Kingdom behind, in search of new lands.

I call my college my kingdom, because, it was like that to me. I was royalty. * This was proved when I was announced as Ms. B.A. LL.B 2010 * I did so much in my college, and most of the times, I was reluctant. But, I did it, because, I wanted to be a part of the memories that I leave behind with each of the faculty member.
The last five years, have made me what I am. I am going to miss being in college. And more than anything else, I am going to miss bossing around, and being loved for the same.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Fight, what? destiny?

I told you all about my acceptance in Netherlands, right? Well, add to it the acceptance from a University in UK, it is called the Robert Gorden University... in Abredeen, Scotland.

No, no one is happy about it.
Dad says, that we don't have the money to finance the courses abroad. I am not interested in doing a masters here in India.
Shayon says that I am not fighting hard enough...
My question is, that what do I fight? I do not have the kind of savings that would give confidence to any bank to give me an education loan.
The only collateral that can be given is our house... and that well, would be too much of a gamble for my entire family. Yeah, I may be able to figure out something, eventually... but right now, I am miserable. I feel like crying. And above all, I am feeling so alone.
Magic happens, if you let it; and sometimes even fate or destiny, or whatever you want to call it, steps in to lend a hand. But when it concerns love, and finding that special person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, should you risk tempting fate with a test of that love or what is seemingly meant to be, or should you just follow your apparent destiny and embrace it?
* synopsis of Milenge- Milenge* Very relevant....

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Hoo- Hoopla

Its my parent's 25th Wedding Anniversary in 19 days exact, and we are nowhere in the preparations. Like literally... my exams got over on Saturday (like yesterday) and all I have been doing is dancing between parties and preparations of the anniversary party. 

Not that I am complaining... I mean, I have been planning this party for the last 5 years * yeah, I am MAD*. I have been dreaming about all that I want for that perfect 25th Wedding Anniversary. * Of course, for my parents it would have been much more perfect, had they been announcing my engagement as well... parents* 

The reason for wanting that Perfect Wedding Anniversary Party * apart from me being a perfectionist Virgo* is that all those years back, when my parents got married, my maternal grandfather was not really thrilled about my mother choosing her own beau *he was waaaaayyyyy tooooo orthodox* and my mum *in her own words* was praying like hell, that the wedding happens minus any hitches. 
It was toooo hot * who the hell asked them to have a summer wedding in India* and the Bride and groom look totally wiped out at their own wedding * no I was not present, I saw their albums*
So this time, when the venue hunting began for the party, the very first concern of my father was- That the it has to be a hall, a closed hall, fully air conditioned.... 
And we took, almost 4 months, and hundreds of venues to narrow down on the one where we are finally having the party.
The next hitch was the guests, being summer vacations, my mother was sure that most of the relatives would ditch us left right and center, and thus the informing about the party began almost 2 months in advance... it so happened that, all our lovely relatives and friends decided to be super awesome with us and are coming over from all over the world. 

Yeah this is like two out of so much more left to do. I got the cards done... hmmm yeah, I have a decent idea about what are Arushi and I to do for the program.... but I am yet to work on the script and the songs... * suggestions for songs are invited* and choreography... add to it the clothes... My sister and my father are the only two people who know exactly what they are wearing for the function. I am the most clueless of the entire lot. * My mum finalised something*

This is the party mix.. add to the cocktail, my college woes, my dance workshop woes, the heat, and CENSUS. *MY MOTHER HAS THE CENSUS DUTY* that means, the entire house is filling out weird details about some random families which have been alloted to my mom. I even went with her to a couple of houses to get the details, and trust me all I could do was stare in awe... 
(I will write a whole post dedicated to this)

The major decisions in my life are ranging from the magnitude of the pictures to be used for the whole video thingy that we are making to the next career move of my life. 
Couldn't have been better timing?

PS: I went for a party yesterday, a friends' birthday, at night, and I took the car.. all by myself... it felt grown up. :)


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

What if?

                                                      You & I live in a world,
made mad, full of choices,
Its a place where vices are many,
but what is right... that,
can't be answered by any.

Oh, look at that bag I exclaim,
you look at your wallet, in vain.
What if, you ask me, you buy,
the other one?
I smile and say, I don't want any,
let us move on.

I smile at you pressing your hand,
You know I am not sulking,
because I understand...

What if, I had not bought,
the newest decor of the house,
what if, I had not come across,
that bag right now...

What if, to shop or not,
was the toughest decision in life,
rest of the world, would have been,
an easier ride...

Yes, I look back alot,
to all the choices that I have made,
till now...
Yes, I play, the 'What if' game,
in the darkest hours of my night.

I have tried to picture,
my life with a different decision,
that picture is nothing but,
a painting without any passion...

You & I, yes we,
were meant to be.. the only,
thing that makes me shudder in pain,
is a 'What if' game, without,
You, in it.