Sunday, January 29, 2012

There are certain people who always seem happy.
They have everything in life. Good money, great wives, great jobs. Passions that they are able to pursue.

And then there are people like me. Who have the fear of their happiness, the little little things in life, that make them happy. And when life denies you even that, then you end up doubting your faith and belief in the Almighty above.
Because, you wonder if He listens to the ones with the silver spoons only.

Don't make me doubt my faith or my belief in you. I have had enough. And, I am just asking for what is rightfully mine.
Dear God, Please JUST for once, give me what I have been pursuing for this long.

Love, Love, Love...

Ever wondered how much dedication does it require to love?

It requires the patience of a saint, when the one you love refuses to take your calls and you are up the whole night wondering where he is and why is he not calling you back.
Just the craving to meet him, when you know, that it is the worst time to meet.

It requires, being your strongest when he is at his weakest.. to be his support when you want to break down yourself, but know that he needs you.

It requires you to be that little kid, and make cute naughty noises, when he is super stressed about everything in life.. and to give him a jaadu ki jhappi and tell him that, our world is just fine, and all that we need is each other and our love.

To walk with each other, hand in hand each day and to feel that love, every day, even in the mundane chores of life!

Love is just a little bit of all of this, and a lot more than what words can say!

I love you, my sweetheart!

PS: It had just been ages since I wrote about love and him! And about the last post- I don't think that I have the heart of talking about the person in that post. Just too up close and personal. 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

25 on 25th- We would have partied all night!

You know that right?
Even if we did not party on any other Birthday, yours was always a party. Considering the next day was a holiday irrespective of the week of the day it may be!

It would have been a big deal. Tuning 25, of legally drinking age. Yup, if nothing else we would have sat in that room. Our room, gotten drunk out of our wits and still manage to get up in the morning to catch the Republic Day Parade.
You could have been anything now.
A computer whiz, a doctor- But even if you were already married or just taking care of your own self- I would not have minded.
I mind the fact that you are not here.
That, irrespective of anything, I would have made sure that we celebrate your 25th in style.

But, now, there is nothing- Just a void.

I just hope that wherever you are, in the Heaven that you have created, that they do your 25th in all your style.
Here, I am gonna miss you.. and still wish in my heart that you were here!

Happy Birthday, darling!  

Sunday, January 22, 2012


" going to bed so i can wake up in 2.5 hours to watch the Pats... dedication son. let's go baby!"

Don't wonder too hard about that line. It is my ABCD brother in Mumbai who wrote that status message and made me google what 'Pats' is. Turns out that it is a football in team in the US of A, and some tournament around it.
That made me realise that, I am not passionate about anything. Sleeping maybe, but then that does not count. 
But, seriously, all of a sudden it seems that, there is nothing that is happening or that there is something that I have to look forward, which has nothing to do with a wedding or wedding planning. 
But something that has something to do with ME! 

I know, bf is crazy about his technology and his games.. and when he is into that thing- he is into it. Completely. I know about Kashvi and others, who read. Read as if their life depended on them, and they discover new authors, new books and are so into it that, they even quote the lines verbatim. 

I know that doctor sahiba, a.k.a Karishma is into plays, and despite her schedules, she finds time to pursue that. She is an audience that any play would want. 

But there is nothing it seems that stirs the desire to push myself. I am tired of the social calling. The clothes, whole pomp and show surrounding me all the time. 
I thought that I was rediscovering music. But now, that too sounds repetitive. I feel constrained. And unable to discover good music. I am musically deaf.

I want to get back to dancing. I think I need that one thing which I can look forward to, twice a week. To just go there and be there by myself. Even amongst people. 
I need to re-ignite some thing in me, to get the passion back in life. 

Something, about which I can bore you all about! 
Damn, where do you all get this passion from?

Friday, January 20, 2012

The BFF!

I don't know about guys, but I feel that for a girl, it is important, no imperative to have that ONE friend. The chuddy buddy, who is more like family but still a friend.
A friend, who is there.
She can be a bitch to you, shout at you, make fun of you, and tell you that you can't more food because you are going fat, but when it comes to the world, your happiness means a world to her.

My BFF, PJ, is probably the ONLY one in the world who I listen to. She basically makes more sense than any one else I know. I thank god for the fact that I have her in my life.

We are exact opposites.
She is thin, I am fat. I am a hardcore Non-Veg and she is a shudh shakahari :)

But together, we can make sure that we can make the life of the people around us hell... :P *In a good good way!! *
And, the fact that she has been there for me for everything that matters the most to me, and that she is gonna be there for me- even when I am not making any life changing decisions- I feel like, I have everything.

I can't thank her enough for being the bestest buddy.. Forever :D

Thursday, January 19, 2012

This is going to be ..

A hell of a long year!
Why is it that when you really want something, you have to wait the most!

Including happiness!

In a totally random update sorts..
Office has become usual. And so has life.
Moving in a settled pace.. till the next thing,
jolts thy life!

PS: Was getting bored and just wanted to update.. :P

Monday, January 16, 2012

Just saying..

Imagine to always being told that 'This is your father's house' and that you shall have your own when you get married'. You all do know the saying about 'Ladki ka sasural hi uska ghar hota hai'

To pick up your entire life from where you had started it, and to plant yourself not only in a new house with new people but also to new routines and new style of living!

It is ironical that we girls are often subjected to restrictions at the fathers home and then instead of getting apnapan from the in laws you are presented with a struggle to adjust your life, the one that you have been living for the last 20 (+ or - couple of years depending on the age of marriage) years and like magic 'adjust' 'compromise' and JUST accept the change!

How about for once, the in laws and the husband for once make the adjustments and compromises and go a little out of the way to make the new family member actually a part of the family!!

There are 3 or 4 of you staying in a house as a family, following certain rules and routines and that too for like ever and when you get all worked out about the fact that the new member is flouting those, just imagine the plight of the girl, who is trying to break ground with the new family on the value system that she has been brought up on!
But instead of understanding that, the fights happen!
When you don't know what she has been upto for the last so many years of her life, is she a psychic to know every little detail of the life that you are leading for last million years yourself?

She will make best of the efforts to understand and to mould in the new life that she starts, but that in no way means that she will not require the support, love , understanding and patience from the rest of the family!
Like each one of you, she too is a different person, celebrate a new facet to your family instead of criticizing her and understand the fact that she leaves behind her whole world to make place for herself in yours!

Give her that chance, your love support and understanding instead of telling her all the time that it is her problem that she has left behind her world!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Alumni Meet

There are enough movies that revolve around the topic of college and school re-unions. As a matter of fact in most of them the protagonists are not really keen to go back to their olden golden days!

I remember that I had just gone to one alumni meet which was organized by my school in the year 2004! That was the first and the last time that I had gone to the school reunion. Basically because that was the ONLY year that I knew that 'my group' from school will be there. There is a reunion every year, but there is no charm for me to go there. I lack the attachment to Modern Bk and the seniors! *Two years in a school with hostile environment well, doesn't make you like it!*

Today, the very first Alumni meet was organized by my college for the last couple of batches and OMG, it was such a fucking reality check! People had gone fat! They got married, yup there were couple who even had children.
It was almost like I was meeting different people altogether! All of us had the ego battles when we were in college, trying to match up to each other! But, after all this time, it seems like all those were just futile attempts to do God only knows what!

Well of course there were certain batch mates of mine who were still the same. Talking to you with an ego, which was nothing but fake attitude gone all wrong!

Anyways, this alumni meet made me realize the long journey that i have undertaken, from the fiasco in the engineering college to 5 years of law school, to finally being a professional!
The journey seems like an immense uphill task that I have finally completed.. only start a all new journey, all over again!

PS: Edited to add: That I did do my engineering, for one year and then gave up. Good sense prevailed!

Friday, January 6, 2012

January Update

I am in Mumbai.
Attending yet another wedding! This one is mum's bestest ever friend's daughter's wedding.. and it is almost 2.30 in the morning.. I am tired.
And, all I want to say is, I am gonna catch up with all of you all's posts in a couple of days!
Till then enjoy the novelty of the New Year!


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hazraaon Khwaaishein aisi..

Ki har khwaish pe dum nikle,
bahut nikle mere armaan,
fir bhi kam nikle..

Every dream we have comes with a bloody price tag! And somehow, 'enough', is never enough. I have heard that there are just about 15% of people all over the world who hold the wealth and who may be use dollars to wipe their asses every day and not give a fuck about it.

Whereas we, the Aam aadmi, in  a bid to make just the ends meet forget about the dreams.

You know, there are often the dreams which are like- throwing a tantrum and asking for the moon, when you know that come what may, you will never get the moon. But, then there are the lucky few who get their moon too.
the operative word here being- 'Their' moon.
The definition of moon is different for each ne of us. Perspective you see, makes a whole lot of difference.

There are a lot of dreams, that are not the moon, not even the stars, but something that you have nurtured for so long in your heart. Waiting for that dream to become a reality. Because you see, that dream was always going to be a reality.
The jolt comes, when even that dream even though is ready to become a reality comes with a price tag. With a choice, of compromising that dream and ground it into the real life or live that dream in a moment and rest of the life regret with the choice of pushing it too far!

One way or the other life has a way of showing you- Who is the boss!

But in the end, it is about the choices that we make and the happiness that we want. Or so I guess. 

"Heck, I would never ever want to see a frown on your face if I could help it.
I would make you stay in palaces, take you to world tours, shopping marathons and make you romantic dinners every single day if I had the means to.
I hope you believe that much."

And I believe that. Ironically, I just want the romantic dinners cooked everyday! 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year!

I was not at a party. I was home, I was happy, satisfied and content.
I have hope alive in me! And, I am going to hold in my both hands faith and believe that I can be happy and that my dreams will also come true.

Here is wishing every one, A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!

As we all get ready in anticipation of the newest year..

Here is wishing and praying that each one of us realise our Dreams, Passions and the keeps alive in themselves that determination of living life on our terms for our Happiness!
Above all, holding on to the belief in your own self and faith in the Almighty, that he shall guide you through and through!