Kill Me...

Because 99% of the world around me thinks that me being the 'Goody two shoes' is being a big show off and that I am fake.

Because, I lose my temper very often, and end up crying, and therefore it means that whatever I say makes absolutely no sense AT all and that I am always wrong.

Because I happen to have a great boss who doesn't like working late, therefore doesn't expect me to be in office till 1 am to show the fact that I work hard- and that seems like an indulgence to certain people and they feel that I don't work 'hard enough', they forget the fact that- more often than not- I work from till late night and that does not even count as working late and therefore I don't even get the benefit of coming late the night after I have worked till wee hours.

Because I love to talk. Just generally chat up. And add to the woes, the fact that I can't let people be judgmental about the people that I am with therefore I am open to a select few and those select few don't normally have time for my 'idle chat'

Because I live in a fantasy world and believe in Happy Endings but end up being a overtly negative person.. again my arguments about where when and why are thrown outta the window!

Because I am always wrong. My reasons of doing an act are always always wrong.

Because I do not feel appreciated by the people, who I would love to hear and who I would tell me that they are proud of me.

Because it feels super yuck to not to feel loved!

But then, I guess there will always be people who will tell me down.. I just hope that those people don't include my own loved ones.
I know how hard it is to get one 'Good girl, proud of you' kind of a comment out from my parents.. All I am is a bunch of qualities which people think are a waste and that I am double faced and double standard...
But I am me.
Love me,
hate me.. as hard as I try to be the person who everyone wants to be- in the end it is ME, who should matter to you, if you love me- even with , my odd silly attitude! 

Song in my head

Call me super lame.. but finally after a million years I have managed to see the movie 'Notting Hill' starring two of my super favorite actors- Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant.
I think that this movies has some of the best songs ever :)
One of my favorite songs from the movie is 'When you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating' and being a love song that it is, I think I will dedicate this song to my dear darling.. and tell him how much I love him ..

Letter to a 15 year old

I read this letter on TUIB's blog, a letter to a 15 year old you, by a preset you.. found it super interesting.. and therefore attempting it. 

Dear 15 year old Sexy,
Or hitler!
Isn't that what they call you in school?! Considering you are more chummy with the boys and go about 'hitting them'all the time!

It is the board year and I know that you are stressed! But don't be... you end up doing very well for yourself!
I know mom is being paranoid, but don't hold it against her, she is always competitive about you being better than the rest! ;)

What you really need to make up your mind about is, what do you want to do with your life, as a career choice. If you stick to your ground then you will have no issues at all in life!
But in case you are wondering, don't, you are gonna be a classic example of 'all is well that ends well'
Your inner desires will prevail over your dumb dreams! Just try not being overshadowed by the books you are reading!

Arushi will eventually grow up to be your best friend! And you will fight for her!

Since, what is writ can't be changed, if you can, then dont change your school!
That is something you will regret for the rest of your life!

You are going to find again the friendship that you had lost thanks to stupid teenage mentality! And this time to last beyond the teenage dramas!

Girl, be confident of your choices and about yourself! Opinions are important but they are just that, please learn to listen to your heart and voice your thoughts accordingly!

Just be strong, okay?
There are gonna be losses beyond your wildest dreams, just be strong through the low tides of life, trust me you will gain much more than what you will lose!

Lastly, this is gonna be THE best best year of your life, just enjoy it with your heart and soul!

Yours forever,
25 something!

PS: Waxing is painful! Just don't get bogged down coz of extra hair on your arms and please- DONT use hair removal cream on your under arms!

February...Update

I actually wanted to write about this book that I am reading, but realised, that I would rather write about it, when I am done with both the parts rather than writing about the first one.

I really don't think that I am PMSing, or for that matter, I don't know if I am or not... but I am sorta feeling absolutely low.
The only thing that makes me happy is when I am working in office with my boss. Even if we are bummed down with work.. the least that we do is have a conversation about an absolute useless thing.. like dog ticks and home remedies to get them off.. I miss having a conversation that is nothing more than, just a useless banter with nothing more to it.

Everyone is getting married, or is deciding to get married.
Which is very nice. Congrats.

I am being snubbed alot these days, be at home or be it by the bf.
The feel good factor about life outside work is gone.

As a matter of fact, I think that I am becoming a useless idiot as far as socializing is concerned.

Rest all, life is usual and calm.

'Favour'

How do you define a favour?
Like really?
What is it?
Going out of your way to do something for some one? right?

But, who would you do that favour to?
To any random person on the road?

OR
To the person who you know will only come to you, when he or she is in a genuine need! Right?

My father has never turned down a person who comes to him for free advice, and neither have I turned down any one who comes to me for help themselves, or ask us to do a 'favour' mind you, to give advice to their next of kin.. or next of next of kin.
That is really a problem you see, being a lawyer or a doctor (I am sure TUIB's will agree with me on this one) is that, when they get to know who you are, they start discussing their problems, be it legal or be it medical.
If I start generating bills for this, I would have been a crorepati by now.
And, when you approach them, for something, you know, something as meagre as getting bookings done at a certain place, because, only the officials in that particular organization can get the bookings done in that complex, it becomes a professional favour that they would have to seek.. from whom, their parents.

Unfortunately, sarkari afsar to hain nahin.. aur na hi crorepati hain.. and where I thought a so called friend would be helpful, it became a professional favour too hard to ask.

I know, Shayon disagrees to every word that I have written here.. but sometimes, one has to go out of the way, to save precious money, to save up for something bigger.

Unfortunately for me, this is one area, where, I know, most of you disagree, but then so be it.
Just don't expect any more free advice anymore!

Dedicated..to you my Love!

The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you.. not knowing how blind that was...
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.They are in each other all along!

                                                         -Rumi

I saw this as Su's, FB update, and I could not help sighing on it.. and then she told me to dedicate it.. but better than FB, I thought, that I would dedicate this to You.. my love, right here... and tell you that I love you..Loads!

Ek Main aur Ek Tu

Snippets of too many English movies rolled into one.
Absolutely passable.
But, it does have it's moments. Well, actually at a lot of places it reminded me, of me, and in not such a pleasant way.
The only only thing that I loved about the movie, was it's song 'Kar Chalna shuru tu'
Leaving you all with it, hope you like it too :)



PS: My sister in law also has a lil cameo in it *Look out for the girl in the grocery store who asks for the 50 cents ;)*