Thursday, July 31, 2008

The lull after the storm...The Internship story...

My first week in office is almost over.
I did not write about my first day or my second dya..coz I did not want to sound judjemental... or rather I wanted to make sure that the first impression lasts...

My office is in C.P. more precisely on the Kasturba Gandi Marg. The name of the buildidng is Naurang House. Its a red and a black bulding with the office of Desai and Dewanji being on the fourth floor.
The office is not huge. But its new. It is an offshoot of their Mumbai office. About 20 lawyers minus the partners work there... there are two partners apart from the usual crowd of lawyers. They were very nice to me on my first day. I even got some work to do... on the second day also I was working the whole time. Nothing much... proof reading the documents...and researching etc... but for the pst two days there is hardly any work that is coming my way. So much so...I am noticing that most of the new lawyers are working on a single case... and taking their own sweet time to make the applications etc.. a few of them have no work at all... I see them chatting the whole day...or orkutting or redaing the newspaper. And that is the reason I have not exactly been working for the past two days... no work has come my way.... all I do there is work of the steno...
I am not learning anything... the people are nice... but that is it.... I am not a workoholic...but I dont like to sit idle especially when I am supposed to be working. I know that I am not learning anything that is going to help me be a lawyer... except that even in corporate law firms... life is a bitch...and politics rule the roost...!!!!

Clearly put- The whole Intern thingy is strictly OK. Or maybe I was expecting more...!!!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Bitter sweet taste of Life

A few years back... there was huge fad amongst us , it was about filling up slam books...!!! It was so much of fun to get that little book filled by your friends and the reading about their crushes and movies and of course their most memorable moments etc.
In that book there was a column about What is Love to you- And I used write a cheesy answer to that...I used to say Love is like dark chocolate... Bitter and sweet at the same time.

I did not realise that the same was true for Life as well. I am very upset. Because my sweetest desires are immediately followed by bitterness of something bad happening. I got to know the date sheet of the remaining two examinations that got postponed. It so happens that the University ppl have changed the venue of the exams. They have changed the sequence of the exam and the cherry on the top is that the two papers are 20 days apart. Can you believe it. One paper is on the 6th and the other is on the 26th. And our seniors dont have a clue about their viva of practicals. Isnt this amazing...!!!
The only good thing is that I am glad that I decided to join my Internship now. Had I waited...i would have given away a great opportunity. Its just that, I really really have been wanting to go to Mumbai. You know whenever Shayon talks about the distance between us... and that we should meet now... n all... I am always the rational one. But on the inside... I cry... coz I too want to be with him...n not for two days...but for a long time. Distance has tested its the close proximity that needs to be tested. I feel so scared that we might not be compatible once we start staying in the same city. Ok, I know I am sounding MAD... but this is killing me... I want a normal relationship...and the only way as of now is that I get a job in mumbai. Yahan par toh exams ne hi beragarg kiya hua hai...!!!

I pray to God, that he knows about love...coz that is what he he should be kind on us...!!! Dont we with physical proximity...being minimal???

Friday, July 25, 2008

I am Happy...

My poor blog has been bearing the brunt of me being bad often that one of my freinds actually asked my boyfriend that why am I so distressed.
Whenever I felt that thing in my life were all messed up...I fired away my frustration here. There was hardly any imagination...and I really dont want that the anger and the frustrations become timeless.

Anyways- things arent all that fine exam dates are still in a frenzy...but nevertheless... there always the positive that is to be looked at...

So the good news is that I finally got myself into an internship in a big law firm called Desai and Dewanji. Its based out of Mumbai... and they have an office here in Delhi in C.P. I went there today...its a cool place and loads of young crowd... and I dont think that I'll have to wear black and white always. Now, I am just hoping that things work out fine there.

My love life is also going great. Shayon has been very sweet and caring lately...maybe we both are maturing...jesus..growing old...huh...!!! But really love can make you feel on top of the world... and that is what happening... I feel that I am falling in love all over again...and its a great feeling...!!!

And recently I realised that I can blog... that too nicely...!!! Labyrinth has been doing great too... a few comments here and there have been coming. From being a techo,personal blog Labyrinth has become a political blog... The recent developments in Indian politcs gave me huge amounts of input for putting up blogs motivated by the stupidity of our dear leaders. The cherry on the top is becoming a guest post writer...or now almost a permenant resident of The Wall Mag. And my first blog entry is creating a buzz out there...its also political... but I am planning to analyse the love bug there..soon...!!!

So that is what is making happy... its good to know that I am feeling good...!!!


Friday, July 18, 2008

How and why...of being in Love...!!!

I wish I knew why I put such a weird title on this post. Ok, Maybe because after a looong loong time I felt like writing and talking about being in love.

Actually, I dropped on this Blog and apparently this female is having a hard time coping up with the distance between her and her boyfriend. Theirs was a normal realtionship till... usual stresses of Jobs did that to her. Plus, I have been watching a lot of TV and there is lots of mushy mushy romance happening there too... and well.. around me... I seem to have the cutest couples cuddling up to each other despite the sticky humid hot weather.... It makes me go crazy crazy ...

I too am in a long distance relationship... and not from now..but from times.. seeing my friend (my best friend) go on dinner,dates..etc makes me feel that my relationship is a tad bit unreal to myself... but the moment my phone rings and I hear his voice... all the hardships of being in an LDR just vanish. Its like... a sweet fruit of patience that you get after a long day of work.

I have been in my trealtionship for like three and a half years... and when anybody wonders...I tell them that sanity abstains from you when you fall in love. The truth is that now, my patience is also running out...its becoming really mad for me to stay away. I am banking on the idiom that patience is a virtue and that virtue lands you with the sweetest fruit.

Right now, I can give anything to be with him.. but I know that its not possible... but I do know what being out of your head means...
That means being in love...truely madly and deeply....

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Why Me...?

The most rational answer to that by many of us would be... cmon girl you are not the only one...there are others as well.
In this case I completely agree that there are lakhs of students suffering.

My exams got postponed. I have already given three papers, two more and I would have been a free bird. But, it seems that God has a different plan for me altogether. This is the start of the sawaan ka mahina...and the kawadias go to Haridwar to get water from the holy Ganges to the Shiv temples. The best part about it all is that they go walking all the way. They go in hoardes and jam the national highway.

And yeah, I study in a college affiliated to Meerut university and my papers come all the way from there. Thus the two exams get postponed- till... GOD KNOWS WHEN. This is so so bugging. Ok, not only for me..for all of us. Its like being stranded 5 miles from civilization without anybody bothering to send someone for rescue despite the fact that they can see you are helpless. Its so silly. You have belive in rituals ...freaks do it... but dont strand US people like that.
I wish..there was something that I could do... but unfortunately all I can do is get angry with everyone including me..for ruining my own life...

I wish...

My First Cheque...

Its the feelings that count...not the amount...
its the hardwork that counts and not anything else.

I have worked before also. But that was just to supplement my pocket money... and plus at that time I had nothing better to do. I had just started with law and I was hardly studying any subjects regarding the same. And the understanding of the same was a little less than what it is now.
But about a month ago I took up some work which related to my profession. It was not thru and thru lawyers work, it was just legal translations that I did for a research project, which were mainly related to crimes against women and various other issues related to divorce,dowry etc.

The work was tedious , lisening to the recordings and then typing out their literal translations with a proper format. But nevertheless it was some work.

Yesterday, I recieved my first cheque for that work. It was a great feeling to know that you are worth something, even if it was little.

Sometimes life has its way of throwing towards your way, little little happiness that make memories a worthwhile affair...!!!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Can't dream enough... Time to hit the reality....

Ok, I have had enough. There is something definately wrong with me.
Al I keep on doing the whole day is day dreaming about landing in a nice job in a jiffy and that too in Mumbai. Ok, I really wanna be in Mumbai, as of now atleast coz, its been like 8 months since I met my boyfriend. Love is surely far away.

But its not only love...but its the glam quotient with a job that is to be included in it. I day dream almost all the time, make conversations with people I dont even know if I'll ever see. I also make up conversations with my boyfriend... ofcourse I do have the real ones all the time, its the face to face ones that I dream about.

I have been doing that for a long time now. This is the way that I can face the reality of the days that I face everyday. I always say to myself whenever I am boarding the bus, that one day I would own a chauffer driven car and I'll see the bus from it. Or, What or how from whom I would want to get my house made after I buy the house on top of ours.... I dream big.

While the reality is as stark as maybe a white sheet of paper that has been crumpled because its of no use. Today, I dont even have a fixed summer job, forget about making tons of money. My bank account doesn't even have enough maobey to pay for the coming year of college. This time, dad's gonna sign his check. My phone has about 10 rupees in it now... and my exams start in less than a week... I have to hit the floor, and get my act together. I know I am gonna study for my papers... coz that I Do. But, another reality is that- I have no clue where my life is going. There was a time that I dreamt about working with the United Nations. The International Court of Justice, but, recently while studying the UN system, I got to know that you don't really need to be a lawyer to work in ICJ... you just work there coz, you have done some great work. I would love to make a difference in the world... but I also believe that charity begins at home. Let me first try n make a difference in the lives of my parents, get a job n status in society so that I can go and fight for my love. There are so many dreams that are yet to be realised... everyday when I go off to sleep, I think, and hope that when I have kids, me n my husband should never crib over finances. Everyday I hope that the next dawn brings me my oppurtunity ... and that I dont' see it as an obstacle.

No, I am not afraid of hard work. I just dont know how use my skills. I cant seem to give my 100 percent.. and I cant seem to find a way.... why is that another puzzle in the maze that is already there.

You know, I read this somewhere, maybe one of the forwards.... it says...

That if A=1, B=2, C=3..... so on Z=26... then,

Hardwork=98% and
Knowledge=96% finally....
Attitude=100% but...

its- Love of God=101%
And its this that I am looking that my dreams can touch a lil bit of reality....Amen...!!!