Sunday, February 28, 2010

My Name is Khan

.... Khan from the epiglottis. 

Yes!!! Finally, finally, I got to see the movie. Trust me, sometimes it is good not to listen to friends who tell you that the movie is not good. It's almost like- Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder sort of a thing when it comes to movies like My Name is Khan.
My father was not too impressed and I Loved it . And, a lot of blogs had already narrated the story, and smses that had given away the suspense. To be very honest, those posts and smses could not even come close to what the story was. What did they miss out?
Well, the entire movie.

The movie is much more than the story. It was the strong performances by ALL ALL the actors in the movie. The movie is so not like typical Karan Johar movies. MNIK shows another side of KJo, a side which he has beautiful put on the big screen.
SRK as Rizwan Khan has done a great job. Only a great actor can portray with such panache such difficult role. Look at his eyes carefully and you will realise that they are constantly unfocused, like they are supposed to be.

Kajol as Mandira was at her BEST. From the very first shot that she entered the movie, she takes your breath away. She is looking beautiful. Perfection at her best.

Kajol & SRK- OMG OMG- The chemistry that they create on the screen, it crackles on screen and comes right on your face. Be it a simple hair cut that Kajol  gives to SRK, or the conversation between them on their wedding night.
As an autistic Rizwan doesn't like being touched...on that night
Mandira- Khan, you know, this can't be done without touching.
Khan- I know.
Mandira- You know?
Khan- Yes I read it in this book- Intercourse for Dumbos.
It was funny, sweet, and in a way sexy.

Jimmy Shergill & Sonya Jehan as Rizwan Khan's brother and sister in law have done a great job. A special applause to Sonya, she did her part in the movie with sooo much of grace, that it was wow.

And EVERY other actor be it the mother, the kids who were the part of the movie... they all were at their best.

Now,People have been screaming hoarse saying that the plot is lose. That the story is just about okay. The message of the movie is so simple. And at the same time so BEAUTIFUL. The movie focuses on the good. And not on the evil. The movie talks about a love that just knows love. Who wouldn't want to be with a man who would go to any lengths just to tell her and express her how much he loves her. This essence of the strory was missed by most, or so I feel.
I think, that, where ever, 9/11 has been talked about in the movies, or the atrocities following 9/11 have been talked about, it was only hate. Only violence that was shown.
And this is where the movie is different. It does show the atrocities, but it also shows the love and the kindness of the people.
It shows the initial apprehension of the american society towards the Muslims at large, but it also shows the acceptance in the form of Sara, who despite losing her husband was okay being friends with Mandira, or the saloon owner who gave her the job, or Mama Jenny who fed Khan and gave him shelter.

World would be much more beautiful place to stay, if we just understand that where even hate and rage can't push a mountain, love can melt it. The movie touched my heart. And I totally loved it.

From the trailer of Kites- How so you say 'I Love You' in Hindi? Main ullu ki patthi hoon.
Totally apt translation I must say...!!! 

Friday, February 26, 2010

Sometimes all it takes...

I log in my e-mail,
I see you there, with the green dot...
sometimes all it takes is that status message of yours...

I open my facebook page,
and I see your latest update,
and sometimes all it takes is that,

I go through my phone,
deleting the unwanted messages,
and as I scroll down,
sometimes all it takes is that random message to pop out of nowhere...

I open my personal diary...
the pages of which are so dear to me,
and as I flip through the old memories in time,
the time when you were not a part of my life,
all it takes is that pressed rose inside those pages...

That folder in my phone with our pictures in it,
the pictures on the web for the world to see em,
all are a part of the heart and the love that we have shared,
all it takes is a single glance at them.

If my heart was tangible,
you would see,
that sometimes,
the hardest times in life,
are the best for your heart and soul to be...

The best laid plans

What was the first question that we all learned to answer, when we were kids?

Beta, aapka naam kya hai? (What is your name?) Add to this statement the cute looks that you give to a one year old and you will know how this question was asked.
After this question, the next question that was often put our way was-

Oh, so cute, how old? 
Damn, lady, the kid doesn't know counting.

And, the third, most important question that you are asked from Day 1, you enter the school to God knows when-
Beta, what will you do when you grow up?
ofcourse, the 'grow up' changes with the age that you are in. It is often replaced with ' what next' , hello people, had we all known what next... or next is what (Samsung Ad) we would all have been the best astrologers in the world.
Sometimes the best laid plans in the world go awry. Could the people predict the outcome of so many things that were planned to the last detail... going wrong?
Such is life.
And, it is the THE the most difficult question in the world to answer- What next... Right now at this instant, I know nothing about what is next in my life.
My personal life as well as my professional life have gone for a toss, and in a way that I can't even think straight anymore. I know these are testing times for me, and well, it looks like I am not doing a great job at even trying to pass the test.

Five years ago, at this time, life was in a simpler perspective. But, a couple of months later, it changed, and there was a transformation. That was a transformation out of the blue, something that was unexpected.
But, today, I know, I know and I can feel it inside me that my best laid plans are in for a surprise from life. The perspectives are changing, and they are changing way toooooo fast for me to control. And, there is no choice, like there was five years back. The change was inevitable.

But now- today- I don't know what to do... I am lost.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Rolling down my cheeks...

Rolling down my cheek,
streaking with the saltiness..
where did you come from?

Did you come out of the pain in my heart,
or the joy that I am pretending to have?

I can taste you now, on my lips..
you are tangy and bitter,
and you make me wonder...
you make me wonder if you will ever leave me,
and when you do,
will you leave me hollow,
or leave me happy?

Always sitting on the edge of my eyes,
you are damn good at threatening to spill,
going all out on me,
bloody traitors...
Can't hide behind the veil of my eyes,
can never really keep a secret...

And as you streak down my other cheek,
I can taste my sadness, the bitterness,
all in one drop...

Leave me alone,
go somewhere, where you will be valued...
you have been spilling out of my eyes,
yesterday, today and tomorrow..
My eyes are tired of you-
I am tired of you...
Oh why...
Can't I be happy without you bothering me?

I hate you...

I am not talking to you, you are very mean... extremely selfish.

I have been hearing these phrases so much in the last couple of weeks, that, all of a sudden I feel, that the change that I have been craving for is finally going to arrive.
I mean, I have always been- I still am to loads of extent- trying to keep everyone EVERYONE around me happy. I try to accommodate every little whim and fancy of every one around me.
And the day I don't, I am unliked by the people. Its like a status message on facebook, with the Unlike button. And for the uninitiated on FB the unlike/like button in the complex comment section thingy.

So, I feel that, it is progress as far as my life goes. I talk about taking life into my own hands, and really trying to make the most of what ever that I have. And, it makes perfect sense if I do what I like, and it makes me happy. What matters to the others, I don't give a damn.

That does not mean that I am going to do just about everything that a vamp does in our Hindi serials. It simply means, that people need to start accommodating more of me, my way. Than vise versa.
This little line by Dr. Suess sums it up well-
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.   

Do you guys remember that, I was talking about how R would have a heart attack seeing me in his class again, well, he was a little shocked... and he has a way with giving you looks... weird looks.
So, my friend lets call her N, she is very scared of R. (She is a 27 year old special educator, works with mentally challenged kids and R is 23) I am also intimidated by him, but, I can handle that much better than her.
Last friday on the second last day of the fest- She begged me to come for class (I had to miss dance because- HELLO- Last College FEST EVER) and I could not help laughing when I told her that I am not coming and she replied by saying-
I am not talking to you. R just gave me such a look... you just wait and watch, I am going to kill you when I see you next.

OMG- Had it come from anyone my age, I would have still taken it. From a 27 year old, it feels a little weird and funny... and hilarious. No, I have not gone back begging her to talk to me. I don't need to do that. Especially since I had a very genuine reason to not be at the class. 
Yeah, I have dance class today, I just hope she regained her senses back..!!! :P
Dear readers, my lovely blog friend, soul sister Kashvi officially turns two on the blog world. Please drop in your good wishes to her, so that she can continue to enthrall us with her great writing.

Sunday, February 21, 2010


Yeah we have all learned about them in English. The damn section in grammar was always there till class 12th.


Three words that make our life run in circles.
Three words that revolve around us, at all the time. We are continuously thinking about our past in our present and then keep on thinking about the so called impact on the future.
But is it worth so much of an effort?
I completely agree that our past, was our present at one time and our present was the future once. The ONLY thing that is constant is the change in the tense.
The present is often made out of the past that we were living in.
But then, how good is it to carry the burden of the past. To stay in it and to carry the burden of the same. The future is made up by our actions of the present. But constantly thinking about the past, hampers both our present and our future. I know, I have suffered so much in my past, I know, the suffering that I have caused to myself. And, I do not want to be a part of it.
It has given me memories- both good and bad. I wish I could go back and erase all the bad stuff from that past. But then, I also know, the good will not have any value if the bad is taken away from it.

This is MY life. And, today, I wish to take upon the full responsibility of the fact that YES I have a past. Nothing too drastic, but, in the future, I am going just take the lessons from it, and make sure that my happiness is not hampered by it.
I am going to meet new people, make them a part of my life. And, they have to accept me, through my past. I am me, because of everything that has happened to me. And, I have come to realise, that the day I accept my past, the day, I am not scared of it- It will stop bothering. Stop scaring me.
And, this also implies- That I am not judging people by their pasts. Especially since I do not want to be judged by my past.

Change is the only thing that is constant. I am ready- and ready to accept it- head on. I hope, that this positivity- makes me truly happy.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Madness is over- Once and for all...

The fest has finally come to an end.
After days and days of practice, frustrations, fights, mis understandings.. and loads of hard work, I feel exhilarated, I feel like I have completed a huge journey by foot, I am THAT tired.

But then, I also realised that- This was the last time that I am going to undergo such varied emotions at the same instant with almost the same people. Every year, I used to swear off the whole thing- but then, like an old addiction, I was pulled back into it.
Every year, the newest concepts conceived as soon the fest got over- and every year, there were exactly the same problem points and still nothing has been rectified till date.
Its almost like, no one in college wants to learn from their mistakes, and no, I am no exception.

For a moment- I wanted things to just freeze- so that, I could pick up that threat of memory and store it-and then, I let it go. Its time to really move on- Make the next move- and above all-
To be finally be able to let go of the madness, and be human again...

Thursday, February 18, 2010


To just be in bed a moment longer. In the shower for couple of more minutes.
And to be in a moment for an eternity.

Just one more minute to look into your eyes.
Another, to hold you in my arms.
One more, sweetheart- Just to hold your hands.

Oh, please, just stay, a Little while longer-
I need to remember how you breathe.

Did I tell you?
No, then, stay back and listen.
Talk to me,
so that I can close my eyes
and hear your voice, even through the jungle
called life.

Don't say bye, just now,
give me a little more of you...
let me catch you in a moment..
freeze you in time.
Take me with you-
Hold me right here, right now.

Kiss me like there is no tomorrow,
tomorrow I would want to be kissed,
like there is no day after.

I have you,
by my side...
Yet I feel-
That you are missing from my life.

I can't see you go,
I hate the good byes...
they hold a promise of a tomorrow together,
Or do they?

One more minute of you-
That is all I ask for...
Self composed poem by moi. No interpretations, just simple lines, of what I feel. I hope you all like it and relate with it.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Loving, letting go, and crap...

So, it was Valentine's Day yesterday. The day of love. In the little article that I had written yesterday, did anyone notice, that the note which I had written for my sweetheart, I did not wish him a Happy Valentine's day, I just said that I love him.
That is coz, it was our love anniversary yesterday... and that according to me was more important than the day of mush. Now, before you all go awwww, I just wanna tell you all, that, that was it. Nothing much happened. Staying in two different cities there was nothing much that we could have done. I am angry, coz, I did not even get an e-card. (I am bound to be- DUHU)
But, then, I read this by Chanz, and decided, that its high time that I really start to appreciate my ownself. I have am not really proficient in doing that.
So, even though its a little late-
I am promising myself that, I am going to love myself, for the person I am. Because- I am me, and that is WHAT matters. If I love myself, I am hoping that I will get loved back, and without a heart break too, and the usual quarrels. Now, wont that just be great.
There are so many people that come in our lives. They touch us, they teach us, and they give us great memories to live with. That is what life is all about.
But what happens, if you do end up wanting to keep one of those such persons to yourself, for life...? Are you fighting your destiny then?
Or are you just being selfish so that you can actually be happy with your own life... do you think that it may be unfair to the person who you want to keep yourself...
It maybe the hardest thing in the world to let go...
So, my dance instructor R, is going to have the shock of his life on Wednesday. Well, the current batch that I shifted to after promotions was his batch in the previous month. But in February, things got reshuffled and he was given a different batch. Today, our studio manager approached me and my friend (both of us have been recently promoted) requesting us to change batches because the current one is overflowing. So, we just could not say no. And, then we get to know, that we are back with R. Poor him, the more he tries to leave me behind the more we are thrown to him.
Is it fate?
I had my debate today in the college fest- It was awesome.

This is it- I guess, yeah... see you guys later...

Sunday, February 14, 2010


I have believed in this four letter word, and have believed in the power of these four alphabets put together to form THE most powerful emotion that the world has ever known.
We have all read and heard about the legendary lovers, and each of us has a love story to narrate. We all have had the love, lost it.. only to find it again.

I know, that I have found mine, and in lots of ways it is not perfect. Rather, it is the very imperfection of the love story that I have- that makes it exciting. Its the heated argument after the whole day of not talking, or about the cute cooing noises when I am sad. Or about forcing me to come out of my shell, against all the odds of me being me. It is about doing something totally out of this world in this very world.

The heady feeling after the kiss, that fragrance that is left behind in my hair after each caress... be it telling me- No point taking the stress baby... and then doing exactly that.
Not being the most romantic person on earth, but then being the unexpected bastard that you are. For telling me all the time, that it is ok, for me to wait, but, being impatient like hell, to meet me.
From pulling me close into your arms and crushing me in your embrace, to that parting kiss. I feel each moment within me... and I know that-

I have been touched by Love- Forever & Always... <3
I love you...

Happy Valentine's all my lovely readers. Lets spread, the love- yesterday, today and tomorrow.

There's always something 

In the way 
There's always something 
Getting through 
But it's not me 
it's You 

Sometime's ignorance 
Rings true 
But hope is not in 
What I know 
Not in me 
It's in You 

It's all I know 

And I find peace 
When I'm confused 
I find hope when 
I'm let down 
Not in me 
But in You 

I hope to lose myself 
For good 
I hope to find it in the end 
Not in me 
It's You 
It's all I know 

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

No Play..

What happens if you are chubby girl, who like to laugh and doesn't mind getting her leg pulled? is butt of all the jokes, and takes them sportingly and always sticks to the fact- That it doesn't matter, I have to be a sport- I can't be like a snob and touchy touchy girl about every thing in life.
Life gives it back to you-
When people start saying- That you are a fake and bitch about you behind your back and smile with all 32 pearls on your face.
You are taken for a ride all the time, because YOU are the flexible one, and come what may you will be able to accommodate everybody's needs, and satisfy their ego.
But no one cares if in the process of keeping everyone happy whether you are happy or not. Or whether, the person who is trying to make you smile had been making their own life miserable so that you can smile.

What is that you get in return?
Not happiness. Take that from me. You are often left without friends, and are one of the MOST lonely person ever. Because, in a bit to be selfless, you lose out on your individuality and your identity. You are sick of being played by all, including life, and when you just about- make your heart strong enough to make a life changing decision, something comes and plays you more.
Just when you think that, you have it all figured out, you realise, that nothing that you have done is going to reap any happiness for you. And you wonder, where are all the good deeds of you trying to make everyone happy go?
Down in the dumps- Says God.
After all, God only helps those, who help themselves, but you have you have been helping everyone else but your own self.
You have to be selfish- but you never learnt that- Maybe its too late now... but you wouldn't know that, because- Its too late now.

Ohh, you'll wind up broken
At the end of the round
Won't find your spirit
In a lost and found
Oh I've been watching
How you behave
Not much like a lover
More like a slave

And you thought Dancing was fun...!!!

Yeah, dancing is fun, only when you take away the technique away from it and dance like a drunk baffoon. But the moment you decide, that you want to perfect yourself in a dance form, then get ready to grill yourself.
Like our instructor says- No pain, no gain...!!!

So, yesterday was my first class of Basic Elementary; AND, I came home with such muscle cramps that, even after the entire night of sleeping, I hurt all over. I am not complaining, but it was an experience in it self. I mean, at the beginners level, there was a different kind of atmosphere, and at the second level itself, I can see the seriousness in the class. Ofcourse, there are jokes, and there are the usual stupid connotations that are happening in and out, but then, you are learning more, and you are being grilled at the technique more.

If beginners was all about opening your back up, and dancing like a star, then basic elementary is all about your extensions, piruvets and strengthening your abs.
If the work outs that we are doing in Basic Elementary, are done by me everyday for 20 mins, I am never in my life going to need a gym.
We do push ups, developes, Pilates... and that is just some of them...!!! 
I shall over come, and chak de fatte the dance class...!!! And Dance like a star...!!!

PS: I know that some terms are totally alien, they are alien to google also, so, unfortunately, no explanations and links!!!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

What is India?

I have been restraining myself from giving out any commentary on the recent hoo hoopla of SRK, Shiv Sainiks and Rahul Gandhi.
The reason is simple- I totally love SRK and Rahul, and I totally abhor Shiv Sainiks and the likes of em. I hate the fact that, they divide India into their own turf, like its not a country but a piece of bread. It hurts- Yes, it does. It hurts to see, that India, today is at such a position that every step that we take is gauged by the world, but instead of taking this opportunity to make our country strong, to really accelerate our market value, our politicians leave no stone unturned to embarrass India at the world level.
We have the Thackreys - and the Vishwa Hindu Parishad, and RSS, who will go to any length to make sure that normality of life is not an option with the common man.
I agree, that, to support Pakistani Players, and their cause by SRK, was a tad bit taking things to an extreme level, because, his team also did not take any players from Pakistan. But, this was a small issue that was supposed to finish off at a point- but no- it has to be stretched like a chewing gum... there is a mandatory destruction of property-    PUBLIC property. And, ofcourse, display of power politics.
Is this India?
If this is- Then who is responsible for it? No darling, its not the politicians, It is US. There is a very simple rule- that says- No one can exert power on you- unless you let them exert power over you.
That is where we lose points.
We the people... has simply become a phrase out of our constitution. Oh, no- We are always so ready and willing to take to the roads for all the wrong reasons.
How many times have we taken the road and have actually taken a stand for a real reason? How many times have we protested to the government against the increasing rape cases? Or, how about asking them to put sensible forward laws in place?
How many times have you done your bit to stand up against a wrong? And by wrong I do not mean, going ahead and damaging the public property, for discouraging Valentine's Day celebrations, or making a hue and cry over that fact that-
Jaya Bachchan prefers hindi over marathi...
There are villages who have no electricity, water, or sanitation... there are farmers who are suiciding and there is a education system that is age old... there is a judiciary who has a huge backlog, the public transport system is not perfect ANYWHERE in our country...
But- We are in India, it is so much more important to fan what SRK has to say, about Pakistan. It is very important, that the Fundamentalist parties do everything against the basic ideals of democracy and still get away... because the people instead of using their brains to think, just follow blindly. Blind faith on a  Politician is the sure shot way to getting a one way ticket to the no brain land.
I am not saying not follow your political religion, All I am trying to say is, that- Please start using your brains, start questioning the authorities on their mis use of power and position.
India- is US- You, me and the common man.
In the era of sensational journalism, we have forgotten the very reasons why India was enslaved for over 200 years- We all were divided, and therefore we were being ruled. Let us try to put behind the pettiness of being an Indian, and let us start cherishing the 'Golden' past, the heritage, that makes India, the unique country that it is!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Back flash...

Five years ago, at this very instant- I was sitting in Banglore. Watching the movie 'Black', at PVR in a mall called Forum. It was in Audi 4.
I remember all this because, it was this night five years ago that really laid  the foundation of a full fledged relationship that is going to complete FIVE YEARS in a week's time.
Also, I decided to mention the events of that night today, because, Shayon is in Banglore today and I am here in Delhi.

I don't know, if I want to bring back that night five years ago, because, it was truly a magical night- It rained that night in Banglore, and I was smiling and laughing through tears.
Also, it was the first time, that I had gone on the 7th Feb, and actually picked up roses on the occasion of Rose Day.

CUT to 2010-
I am not even sure that I will make it to the end of the day, I wonder, how am I going to get through the entire week, without missing Shayon like hell.
Toughest, Valentine's week ever, worse than those, when I had no boyfriend, I was in school and saw lovers hand in hand.
But, like, it is often said-
Distance makes the heart grow fonder...
I will believe that...and hope that, life takes a turn soon.

Happy International Flirting Week, People-
Wish you a Very Happy Rose Day...!!!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Am I in the 21st Century?

Let me try and figure that out-

1. The date says that its 2010.
2. I have broadband connection at home.
3. I have a mobile phone and a Laptop.
4. Well, gay marriage has been given a sanction atleast by the Delhi High Court.
5. Oh, social networking has changed the definition of finding play mates in a play ground, now we have Farmville to play and plough with.
6. India, is being recognized in all spheres, be it movies, music, book- The world really cares for what India has to say.
7. Hmmmm, what else, oh yeah- Did I talk about the open economy and blah blah, or the western world coming here!!!
 But are these 7 points (you all are more than welcome to add more points) more than enough to say- That India is truly coming of age? Is internet, laptop, and cheap technology more than enough proof of a New Age India?? 

We are a nation of TRUE HIPPOCRATES. I think, I have never come across, anybody, as double faced as We The Indians... 
Yeah, you did not know that? That!! 
That we have Most of the Goddesses in EVERY religion who is a female, but, NONE of the male specie would consider that fact before staring at our breasts, trying to grope our ass in a highly stuffed public transport.
I am not going to go in the stats at all. There is no point. I just know, that- I am a Girl. And, I hate sitting the bus, when some one or the other, tries to close in on to me.
I just know, that, when our politicians make such statements,
“You can’t blame the locals; they have never seen such women. Foreign tourists must maintain a certain degree of modesty in their clothing. Walking on the beaches half-naked is bound to titillate the senses,” New Delhi’s Mail Today newspaper quoted Pamela Mascarhenas, Goa’s deputy director of tourism, as saying Friday.

There was a time in India, that in the coastal regions, the women never covered their breasts up. They used to wear just a lungi, that is it. And this woman, says that Indian have not seen such kind of women.
EXCUSE ME: Women are women. They have boobs and a vagina. What are the various kinds though? Please Enlighten.

But no, no would stand up for me, when, I start shouting in the bus, that this man is trying to touch me. The scenario is so scary that, I fear, that I might get raped if I provoke the man. So, I just have to move away. (Yes, I am ashamed of myself).
I feel sorry for myself, and then angry at myself and then sorry for myself. Because, I happen to be  a law student, I cannot even raise my voice against the injustice that happens to me. 
The worst of course are the politicians, who, make statements like above, and they know, that there would only be a section of people who will react to it, and then the tide will blow over.
Then, there are people who are making all the effort, to make sure that, people are mobilized and that something can happen.  There are bloggers, who are spreading the word, why can't we also join the gang?
We forget that, We are a democracy. The politician CANT do anything that is against us. But, only if we stand united, and actually make them notice. We forgot THE basic lessons, from our freedom struggle. What Gandhi was able to do was to UNITE the people of India against the evil of the oppressive rule. We are being suppressed again. And, we do not realize it.

Its not only the issue, of women and little girls being raped. Its also, about, how unimportant issues take a bizzare shape, when being misled by a handful of mean politicians. Its about how you, me- The youth is being played at by their hands.
I do not need to remind anyone on the blogsphere, especially the young and in in love, that The Valentine's day is round the corner, and that we should all brace ourselves to more acts of mindless violence... because the politicos do not like our culture being 'westernized' ... the fuckers should first get their priorities right. Instead of working hard in making sure that the youth of the country has a progressive thinking, they make sure that- They push us to such a limit, that, we pack our bags and run away from the country. 
It is such a sad state of affairs, that at times I doubt, if the calendar is showing me that right dates.
PS: Please do visit each of the link that has been provided in the post.
And, spread the word about- The Blank Noise Meeting on the 27th of February in New Delhi. 

And PEOPLE- React- Only our reaction together can spark a movement and make the government to take an action against such people who think that they cab get away with anything.
Thank you for the patient reading.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

For Once- I want the time to stop, or maybe not.

I am perpetually confused. Something that, I am not so proud of. But, then what is life without two things to choose from.
A dilemma always makes up for the monotony of the daily life.
So, on Monday-
I turned in my Examination form, for my 10th Sem. The final semester. And, even though there was enough chaos around the entire faculty at that time, I could feel a different kind of buzz in me. I was sad, that it is going to get over finally, and on the other hand, I was feeling, all excited, thinking, wow, finally the tedious five years are going to end.
From being called written off as an outcast, to being the Best Student of the college, it has been an eventful journey. Well, if nothing else, I have pretty much figured out the bus routes of Delhi. And, THE most exciting part of the entire time period was- The 1.5 hour journey one way. I have traveled the way the world on a budget travels... and seen so many people.

And, in 10 days time, My college fest will start. Its already a madhouse out there. I being the co-ordinator is NO  help. I lose my temper, go crazy trying to squeeze in every ego demand... but no help. I am in almost all the events as a participant and as a co-ordinator.
So, life is a mad house.
And, despite my crankiness, I know that I want to do everything- because this is the last fest. My last chance, to be on my own stage. I am going to miss all of this a little.

And, with absolutely no idea, where and what turn life is going to take next, college (even though far off) looks like the safest bet...!!!
Can time stop and let me analyse? Please!!!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Leap of faith...

Do you believe in yourself enough to jump off a cliff and still smile....?
Can you make a life altering decision about your life, because you have faith?

I think, today, I am going to find out just that.
Whether- My leap of faith has actually landed me on a hay sack or on a pile of rocks. But my gut tells me that, that today is going to be different from what yesterday was. And, that, My life altering moment is going to be Today.*

* Conditions apply

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I am Jinxed

Or so it seems,
I don't remember a single meeting with someone who I really wanted to meet minus the speed breakers.
It seems that- whenever I really want to meet someone- Something goes wrong with them, directly or indirectly.

I dunno, why it seems that, the universe can't see me happy.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Its the 'small' things that matter...

Yes, small things matter.
Its not how you look, what you wear, how much do you earn.

Its about- where you throw your underwear, fart after having dinner, and as someone says,
there is nothing in this world like a Good morning cuddle and a morning kiss, because you are both stinking.

I know, there is a long way to. So long, that, I may not even be able to gauge it. But, can I atleast hope that I will be able to deal with the change? Deal with the 'small' things that will come my way. There will be loads of adjustments.
But- if I am not willing to do them, I would be scared of em,
but I am willing to do em.

I just don't want to have a prejudiced mind, and a mindset that may do nothing but pull into a negative frame of mind.
Its not only in a 'love' relationship, that the small things matter- But they matter in all relationships of life. Doesn't a mother know, about those little habits that her child has? Why are we SO scared to step into the unkown...
and why can;t we be the fearless ones...

I know for all practical purposes- Love- is nothing but the stupid play of hormones that wean away with time. But, unfortunately- I cannot explain, the feelings, the very bond that makes you stick to the person who you are in love with.
When, you know, that you can step into the 'small' things matter more than the big ones phase, you know that the person for whom you are getting into this is THE one.

Like Peanut says-

Love is a Valentine with Lace around the edges...
Crappy post- but yeah- I am of late in a thinking about 'WTF' things.