I think that everytime I write the year end post, it amazes me to no end that the year has ended and on the hindsight, I wonder wow, so much has happened in this year. And I survived.
The emotion does not change.
This year by far has been the MOST difficult year for me, in terms of both personal as well as professional growth. I was trying very hard to juggle between the roles of being a wife, daughter, daughter in law, sister, friend and a mom. Most often than not, I lost my sanity. And, after a lot of deliberations and considerations, I decided that I need therapy. And, so, I got into counseling.
That has been the most valuable lesson to me in the entire year. That I am a human being and I am VULNERABLE. It is very hard for us as humans, especially for a person like me to accept that there are faults within the being of who you are and that it has to corrected. “Living in denial” probably holds true for me, and I guess one of the biggest achievements for me has been to realize that. Of course, I am working towards a new me but, it is a work in progress.. I am not perfect and I don’t intend to be either.
Another thing that I learnt this year was the impact of a “toxic environment” at work and the fact that it is the people who make the organization. I changed two jobs in this year. I left the law firm. I joined a corporate and now I am finally at a place where they appreciate my work at work and the fact that it is the people who make the organization. I changed two jobs in this year. I left the law firm. I joined a corporate and now I am finally at a place where they appreciate the fact that people work and have a life outside work and I belong in a team (I have always complained that I don’t have a team that I belong to, and finally I am a part of team in a big organization, not a float resource).
2013 taught me to value money. I am very materialistic to say the least. And, I hate spending on things that one need not spend on. At one point this year, I had two jobs. And I hate to say this but I took up the second one because I wanted more money. It was something that I did like. But really like so much that I had to had to do it. It was being a recruitment consultant in a recruitment firm for their legal clients. Imagine the pinch I felt when I talked to these well placed lawyers younger to me or my age with my kind of experience earning atleast 5 times more than me. I know how much I have cried on those days. Peace is an emotion I seldom felt during the last year.
I was like a ship. Struck in a big storm, and then losing my way completely.
2013 also taught me the value of friends. The best friend got married in all fan fare possible. And even though I reached about 4 days before the actual events began, I was totally engulfed in the preparations that went haywire. It was an experience that I would always cherish.
In Mumbai here, I think I have found a crazy friend, who is like me. Loves to chat and have coffee. Loves her diamonds and knows the art to chill. She was my accidental friend. We met on the Mumbai local. And rest like they say is history. She has helped me keep my preserve my sanity too.
Husband and I have loosely formed a group. And, I have thrown enough parties in this one year to make sure that we remain hooked to meeting each other.
2013 has made into a traveller. Husband is of course to be credited for that. We have explored the interiors of Maharashtra, made Goa into familiar holiday spots and realized that we both love to drive and take the trains rather than zip zap zooming in an airplane. Amongst the many resolves this one is gonna be my top priority .. to travel and see the world.. or atleast see the world that is around me.
My love for dressing up has increased, and I have come to realize that I need not wait for “occasions” to get ready and/or dressed. Each day is an occasion in itself and that I should look good.
2013 revealed to me that husband is going to be a great dad and I am an impatient mum. Sugar, bought what was lacking in our relationship. She bought a sense of being a family to just US!
2013 taught me about love. It taught me, how important it is that my husband wakes me up from my sleep just to turn me around so that he can put his arms around me and sleep. Of little things and bigger fights and of loving each other each day and wanting to kill each other each day. Marriage is nothing but a bunch of contradictions.
Whilst 2013 is coming to an end I realize that it was a cake walk. It was about eye opening , about love, friendships, and learning to be a family.
2014, I know for sure is going to be a lot more difficult in terms of life and coming to terms with life. All I can hope is that, the patience and the love continues to favour me and that I am able to cope with life as it comes.