Friday, May 15, 2015

Tell Me your Dreams?

Dreams change.
From when you are young, to when you get older. 

I won't say wiser, because it is not that dreamers are not wise, it is just that, the dreamers don't care; about broken dreams of the past.

I remember that from a very very young age, I wanted to just get married [Yes, I am obsessed with marriage!!]. I used to often in my dream world and my fantasy land, dress up like a bride/ princess, with all the jing bang, and then wait for my prince charming. [Yes, the disney books and the indian alif lailas are also to be blamed for the way I behaved]. 
Then, as a teenager, I think my dream was only to have that proud moment with my Mom. [I was still obsessed with marriages but not of my own!] I was able to actually achieve that when my Xth standard board exams results came. 
And then during high school, my only only dream was to maybe have a bf, get my mom to agree to wax my arms and legs, to be able to wear nice sexy clothes (like all the fashionistas wore in my school); but most importantly, to have "that" set of friends, who would be there for life and to fit in. Typical high school misfit wishlist! [Now looking back, I should have just concentrated on my studies!]
College on the other hand was a major surprise. I fit right in. 
Oh, strike that off, I was the "Queen" in college. The topper, the charmer, I had an amazing boyfriend, and I was the most famous girl in college. BUT. 
[Yes there is always the but! And I am no saint!!]
But, I did not have the right internships, and even if I had the right internships, I did not have the right ideas to approach the firms for a pre placement offer; and at that point in time, that was my biggest dream. My Career. 
Things changed over the years, 5 years of law school later, while I was dreaming of getting a nice cushy corporate job, I had to get into litigation (that was the only thing that was available) and 8 months later, when there was a merger of sorts, and finally I was in the "Law Firm League". I have had the best time of my life while working that law firm.
I had the best boss, an exposure to the work that I really liked and most of all, the friends that I made. There were obviously some things that were not perfect, but then, it was a time, when I was content with the work that I was doing.
I practically had the whole career path and the life path chalked out.
And then I got married.

The marriage was probably the best thing that has happened to me, because, now, I have changed my dreams. I want to be able to make my family, and put time in to it, but at the same time due the constraints of living in a world where money is a bane and a boon, there are compromises that have to be made, and those are being made.
While I try to look for a work life balance, it is sad that the work bit of it is not working out.. the career dream is going nowhere and that is making me frustrated.

The illusions of life, often leave you wondering what are the dreams, and when will we ever get to fulfil them.. If we will ever get to fulfil them! 

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