Lessons in Shaadi (3)

The lies that you are made to see before getting married.
The specials in the first year of being married.
If you marry a guy who doesn't believe on all of that you end up being disappointed most of the times and if you marry in an over enthusiastic family, then you are left overwhelmed with many a celebrations.
It's a two edged sword and You end up wondering where is the enjoyment gone.

Lessons in Shaadi (2)

You are often faced with choices during your marriage that leave you with numbness. 
You end up wondering if the person who is telling you to pick and choose is the same person you chose to get married to. 
But then mostly, for the sake of peace around you make peace with your own self, sacrifice, compromise and often just give in.
And the choice trust me is never the better desert.. It's a choice that changes your life and your relationship with the people who you know. Changing the dynamics of your relationship and dynamics of who you always have been.

Lessons in Shaadi.. (1)

Marriage and wedding are different. Choose marriage over wedding, always.

Is it just me

Or it is harder to express your feelings, the true raw kinds, that you used to before shaadi to your hubby after getting married.. If no, then tell me why am I facing this difficulty? Especially since hubby and I have been together for 8 long years..
And if Yes.. Then tell me has anyone tried to overcome this difficulty.. And how?

On Father's Day..

I think for a girl, there is no better prince charming than her Father. 

And, for me, I had the chance to be around four such amazing fathers. 

One was my grandfather. 

The one person, who was the epitome humility, love and kindness. THE one person in my life, who I really would fight to keep all to me. I miss him. 

And on days when I am in dilemma, and need guidance, I try really hard to think as to what wisdom would he have imparted me. 

Second was my tayaji, my father's elder brother, who taught us how to live life king size. To love with everything that you have. To celebrate life. come what may. 

I spent first 15 years of my life more with him than with my own father. He left us too young. But left us with memories that shall live in me for the entirety of my life. 

Third is my Uncle D, my fufa ji, we were and still are a little intimidated by him, and when he was in the US of A, we hardly saw him for more than a couple of days at a stretch in maybe once in two odd years, and then too, we were mostly interested in playing with our cousins than spend time with him. But, from the time that he has moved to India, and from the time, I finally started talking to him, I am in awe of that man. He is fun. He is serious. He loves to travel, and loves to take us out for coffees. I have not seen a man, who retired at a young age, so that he can help my Bua pursue her career. He takes care of the house. He flirts with my mom, and he hosted my mehndi ceremony, and has pampered me to bits. We don't have much in common to talk about, but, never have I seen him shying away from trying something new, from adapting to the world around him, and lighting up the room with his amazing cooking and personality. 

And, lastly, there is my Dad. 

More than anything else, leaving him behind to start anew, pains me to bits. Like I used to feel the pain when I wanted to with the hubby, I feel that same physical pain and pinning for him. Everyday. There is just so much love that he has, that, with open arms he has embraced me being in a different city. Even though, he jests about it. I know, had it been how he would have wanted, I would have been within 100 yards of him every day of his life. 

Even though, it is said that, the Kanyadaan means that there is the hand of your husband to hold on for the rest of your life, for me, my Father will always , always be that guiding light. My hero. I have not really rebelled him or his rules. I never could. Somehow, everytime I hurt his feelings by any action direct or ancillary.. it hurt me from within. I am strong, for him and because of him. And whatever little sensibility that I have, it is because of his genes. 

If there is any man who is perfect.. as a Son, as a Husband and as a Father, then that is him. I don't know from where does he get his strength to be the person who he is, but if I can be 1% of that person, then, I know that I have achieved something more than the materialistic aspirations of my life. 

And, if at all, I can hope for something is, that whenever we have kids, my husband becomes a father, like how mine is. 

Oh Gosh, sitting in a different city and continent (my parents are travelling), I would just give anything to go and hug him now. Love you, Papa. You truly are THE BESTEST.   

And to all the wonderful Dads around the world.. I am sure you are as wonderful and amazing to your kids... :) Happy Father's Day..

Rediscovering Blogger

And now I have an app for blogger on my phone :) 
That means I am going to atleast post more often :)

May-Day!

The entire month of May has (almost) gone, without me posting a single post.
If I say that I have been meaning to write, that would sound like an excuse to you, but for me that is the fact.. that I have been meaning to write. About what, that I don't know.

The social issues. The emotional issues. The relationships, the dynamics, and the changes.
Life in general, and life specifically fucking me over and over again.

I am coping. Pretty well.
Taking the help that is required to cope in such scenarios.

I miss being in Delhi, where the heat kills you, and not the humidity.
I miss being Delhi because of lack of doing anything better. I have no friends.
The brothers shall move out of the city by the end of summers. And, then, the moral support shall be gone too.

My best friend got lost somewhere, when he turned into my husband, and I am trying to find him.

Also, looking for the happily ever after.. any address?