We are often lamenting about things that are not right, without appreciating the things that are right. This is my biggest realisation of turning 31.
I am sitting in my niece's bedroom in Mumbai. In the last two days that I have been here, my heart is being pressed so hard that it is not even funny. It reminds me of the days when I was interning in Mumbai, and for me there was nothing better than this city. To be honest- when they say the Bombay is a feeling. I know it. I believe it.
My relationship with Bombay is complex. This is the city, where I learnt to be independent at the age of 4, when my great-aunt told me that I could pick out my own clothes and could take my own baths, and leave my hair open all I want. This is also the city, where I learnt the true essence of house parties, and the fact that even if I have to get up at 5 in the morning to travel for a couple of hours, a party on a weekday is not a bad idea at all.
This is also the city that brought me to my knees. A city, where tiny living spaces far far away were the only ones that one could afford and sunshine or rains or even a massive hangover doesn't stop anyone in this city. There is a resilience here that gives it strength. Like someone recently told me, Mumbai is a city where even if you are broke you can have fun. Might I add, that once we grow up the broke fun doesn't cut it anymore. That is why the complicated relationship.
I could have easily passed off Mumbai as Bangalore, where we have friends and family, and which is a great party spot with hopeless traffic, if I had not lived here. Like it was home, at several points of my life.
If I had to re-do my relationship with Mumbai, would I change anything? Would I want this to work out? Would I do something differently?
I don't think I would. I have been thinking about the past. A lot. Especially closer to the birthday. I always do that, helps me plot my growth. I have in the past told the Husband, that I wish we could have done things differently. But- today when I sat to write this out- I realised that I would not have been writing this post about the bitter sweet memories of Mumbai had we not indulged the way that we did, without a care. Our decisions at those times bore fruits. We have best of the people (Yes, because Mumbai does have the best of the people, and believe me when I say that most of the best of Delhi people also stay here, hence Delhi is left with too little of them!) as our friends. And I say "our" friends because of all the memories and the moments that both Husband and I spent with his friends.
There is however something that I would change. My attitude. I always had fun. But, I was always riddled with guilt later. I started attaching a lot more importance and impact (negative one at that) to certain things/situation than what was required, instead of purely enjoying that moment, and preserving it in my memory- just as that- a pure moment of joy.
But other than that, I will not change a thing (maybe a year extra at Juhu ;)) .
Delhi will always be home. With the tiffs, tribulations and a lot diplomatic acts. And Mumbai, was and continues to remain- Meri Jaan. Will it ever be "home" again? I don't know. I do know that, Mumbai will always play an important part in our lives. We are inter- twined. At a spiritual level.
At 31, you realise a meaning of deeper connection, as you move forth with your life at a different pace, with different goals. But there certain places and people who are your anchors, and Mumbai will always be that anchor.
Thank you, for the great Birthday weekend, Mumbai.
I am sitting in my niece's bedroom in Mumbai. In the last two days that I have been here, my heart is being pressed so hard that it is not even funny. It reminds me of the days when I was interning in Mumbai, and for me there was nothing better than this city. To be honest- when they say the Bombay is a feeling. I know it. I believe it.
My relationship with Bombay is complex. This is the city, where I learnt to be independent at the age of 4, when my great-aunt told me that I could pick out my own clothes and could take my own baths, and leave my hair open all I want. This is also the city, where I learnt the true essence of house parties, and the fact that even if I have to get up at 5 in the morning to travel for a couple of hours, a party on a weekday is not a bad idea at all.
This is also the city that brought me to my knees. A city, where tiny living spaces far far away were the only ones that one could afford and sunshine or rains or even a massive hangover doesn't stop anyone in this city. There is a resilience here that gives it strength. Like someone recently told me, Mumbai is a city where even if you are broke you can have fun. Might I add, that once we grow up the broke fun doesn't cut it anymore. That is why the complicated relationship.
I could have easily passed off Mumbai as Bangalore, where we have friends and family, and which is a great party spot with hopeless traffic, if I had not lived here. Like it was home, at several points of my life.
If I had to re-do my relationship with Mumbai, would I change anything? Would I want this to work out? Would I do something differently?
I don't think I would. I have been thinking about the past. A lot. Especially closer to the birthday. I always do that, helps me plot my growth. I have in the past told the Husband, that I wish we could have done things differently. But- today when I sat to write this out- I realised that I would not have been writing this post about the bitter sweet memories of Mumbai had we not indulged the way that we did, without a care. Our decisions at those times bore fruits. We have best of the people (Yes, because Mumbai does have the best of the people, and believe me when I say that most of the best of Delhi people also stay here, hence Delhi is left with too little of them!) as our friends. And I say "our" friends because of all the memories and the moments that both Husband and I spent with his friends.
There is however something that I would change. My attitude. I always had fun. But, I was always riddled with guilt later. I started attaching a lot more importance and impact (negative one at that) to certain things/situation than what was required, instead of purely enjoying that moment, and preserving it in my memory- just as that- a pure moment of joy.
But other than that, I will not change a thing (maybe a year extra at Juhu ;)) .
Delhi will always be home. With the tiffs, tribulations and a lot diplomatic acts. And Mumbai, was and continues to remain- Meri Jaan. Will it ever be "home" again? I don't know. I do know that, Mumbai will always play an important part in our lives. We are inter- twined. At a spiritual level.
At 31, you realise a meaning of deeper connection, as you move forth with your life at a different pace, with different goals. But there certain places and people who are your anchors, and Mumbai will always be that anchor.
Thank you, for the great Birthday weekend, Mumbai.
