Yeah, when the boyfriend is leaving, the mood swings are bound to happen. And, I am going to try really hard not to be sad about him leaving.
So anyways- did I mention that me bunking college has pretty backfired on me. And that, I am actually on ultimatums from the college, therefore I have to give the presentations and give all the pre- university exams (which are not compulsory otherwise). So, I have been actually trying to go to the college.
Apart from the chaos in my college/professional life,
Life @ home has been turbulent too-
My mom had been after our lives to sort out our stuff so that we can get some painting done in the house, and guess what- she succeeded...!!!
Yeah- so, my room has a new colour, or rather colours- It is basically bright yellow with bright orange giving it some company.
One of the walls has gone designer- and is painted in orange and yellow stripes- even though it looks like that the zebra has played holi- it has just brightened the entire aura of the room. The stripes, I dunno, I feel like are an omen. They it seems represent order in chaos- That my life is.
This seems like the general update on my me.
Nothing really special is happening, and to be frank, I have started dreading the thought of being alone at all. I am pretty lonely here, the friends that I really have are far off, and the one that I have here is busy in her life, and even though we meet we try to focus on happy things.
OH GOD- I feel so used right now.
In every possible ways-
I feel like, I am there for everyone, and when I need everyone around me, everyone is busy in their lives.
Be it friends, boyfriend or just about anybody.
I have the MOST fucked up relationship with my parents- you know the sorts in which they think that they know their child and in the end they realize that the time to really bond is over. Yeah, we have our moments but I can never be their younger daughter. I am not perfect you see.
There is this hateful sister factor in it also- Doing everything an elder sister does, keeping her eyes and ear open, you know making her case in front of the parents, sorting out all her fights, but in the end- All I have been getting is major attitude- Not even a proper thanks.
You know once in a while it is good to hear something nice from your parents.
I hate being the butt of almost all jokes that are cracked around me, and about me.
Right now- This instant- I can almost feel the anger pounding in my head and on the subconscious level I know, this is a rant post- But I can't help it.
It is OK to be selfish. At times.
Shayon bought himself a new url so you can read his pearls of wisdom here, from now on.