Monday, March 15, 2010

Fast Track

Life is not the titan fast track ad. It is not really even a game. Actually many people, especially in Hindi movies call life a game, and then they set up the whole game plan.. blah blah

But, real life is so different from reel life. There is no intermission. It is an endless journey, where even the most planned move can go wrong in a fraction of a second and then you are left with nothing. Nothing. Nil. Zilch. And you are left on a cross road from where you can't turn back, and you can't really move forward. You are stuck. 
Life is such a bitch.

In the last couple of days, my close friends, have been urging me to move on. And, when I look at them, they give me those re assuring looks that say, 'Go on we are right with you' , but then, they forget, that, they can be there for me all that they want, but, they can't help me get over my pain. No, nothing can.
There is a friend of mine, who on reading this would get really mad. You know who you are, and you would say, How can the pain stay forever? Doesn't me being there matter at all to you? 
You have been the greatest support. Totally.

But, how can I forget my first kiss, Ever. The first, holding of the hands. The first time I ever looked into his eyes and smiled like crazy girl drugged in love.
Those first times are the last to let go off. The pain will subside with time. I am trying so hard not forget how to smile, and how to be the bubble gum that I always was.
It will go.
Let time be the healer.


Chandni (Chanz) said...

u know what... the pain definitely goes away...

I dont what was the reason behind your break off but if you forgive yourself then it will be easy for u...

I am a live example of a person who moved on.. I was going to die coz i couldnt live without him.. I was a fool then... But after 6 months of suffering, I finally gathered the courage and decided that i cannot suffer. This is my life and nobody, I repeat.. nobody can ever make me spoil it...
i'll tell u what.. the only thing u need right now is to wake up one morning and say, "I have had enough. I will not miss him. I will not feel the urge to call him. And i will not.". Sakshi, its very simple.. I was about to commit suicide. I have come out of it. Do u want to know how did i manage..?? One day, i just said, "No, I cannot be the loser."

And guess what.. After two years of separation, he wants to come back to me. But these 2 years have taught me how big a bitch can life really be. And I will not let him take away what this life has taught me. Today, I can strongly tell him that "Listen mister, there is no place for u in my life. You cannot keep going n coming back. This is not your life but it is entirely mine."

Chandni (Chanz) said...

and the day u stop using the labels like sweetie pie, love and even hurt, for that matter, you will find it easier to overcome this phase... Trust me, it is a tried and tested way to come out of mess...

Sorcerer said...

Hmm..i used to wish human beings are born with reset buttons.
:( finds a way..always!
it has to

Shayon said...

I had promised myself that I shall never again comment on this blog as long as a certain fried of mine continues to haunt it. But after going through the comments of this particular post, I couldn't refrain myself.

All of you keeps mentioning again and again that you have no clue about why the "break up" happened, and yet you make no efforts in refraining yourself from going into the guy bashing mode.

I am not naive enough not understand that this might actually help Sakshi get out of her "misery"...that she just might manage to "forget" her memories and "move on". But has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't anyone's fault after all?

I had always believed that the only emotion that can replace love is hate. There is no goddamn any other emotion that's as passionate as love. And as long as she can't hate the guy, she can't stop loving him. And yes, I can see you guys are definitely trying really hard to help her do just that.

Just a single question for the purpose of your introspection -

What is there's another side of the "story" that you never got to hear about, in the first place?

Think about it, before you continue to comment on the issue.

This blog belongs to Sakshi and she has all the rights to delete my comment. I shall leave the choice to her. All I have to say is, if you guys are truly her friends, first try to understand whether she truly wants to move on, or whether she just says so because she's very hurt, sad, and confused right now? If you are friends, you shall take that liberty. The ones who just go along with whatever someone says, are just acquaintances, not friends.

Sorry for coming out so strongly with this comment. I shall leave it onto you whether you wanna keep it published it or not.

Chandni (Chanz) said...

@ Shayon : I know that your comment was directed towards me since everybody else gave a neutral comment. See, the thing is that there is no ONE RIGHT ANSWER to these problems. And trust me, nobody can ever tell Sakshi what she needs to do unless they know the complete truth. And here I have no clue. Not about you. Not about Sakshi. I am just a person who loves to read her blog. And I do not know what caused the breakup. Nor do I know what kind of relationship you guys shared. You know what, it really hurts me when I read Sakshi's post. Like everybody else, I too am curious. but I wouldn’t force you to tell me the reason.

And come on Shayon, I wasn’t blaming you for anything. Guess what, my break-up was the result of my own fault. My ex wasn’t to be blamed either. But as an individual, I had to forgive myself. Whatever caused your break-up, you guys need to just forgive yourselves. And if it was done voluntarily, then it is time that you guy keep up to your words. If you guys still love each other (which I assume is the case) and for some reason you guys cannot be together, then learn to live without each other. Its for both of you. Trust me you two.. Life is quite long. Sometimes we have to make big compromises early in life, so that our future is smoother.

Sometimes, life does not give us a choice.
If you guys could talk it out then it will be definitely good for u…

I just wanted to help.
I am sure Sakshi wouldn’t like to hear anything negative against you Shayon. And when I do not know you, I too wouldn’t utter a word against you.

I am sorry that I made you write such a comment. But that’s ok. The key to happy living lies in forgiveness.

Guys, Be happy. It’ll only make you feel better.

God bless.. :)

Shayon said...

My comment wasn't exactly meant for this post only but rather for a lot more that were written in the past. So yes, nothing personal against you.

I liked something you wrote.
" If you guys still love each other (which I assume is the case) and for some reason you guys cannot be together, then learn to live without each other."

If you look at it, all of us humans. Maybe there is actually no way that we can be together. But if that's the case, then the distance will anyway tear us apart, nonetheless. But, does that mean you should simply live with it. Shouldn't you rather try and figure out if staying together is possible or not. If it aint, the separation will come all by itself. Nobody shall have to force it onto you, or have to console you for that.

They say that if you love someone with all your heart, let the person go away. If he/she really loves you, he/she will always come back. Else, maybe he/she was never up for the keeps.

But have you ever wondered that maybe even the opposite might be true, at times. Doesn't matter how hard you try to hold on to someone, if the person is to go away, he/she will surely will. Should that mean we should strive at going away?

Sakshi said...

All I want to say to all this is-
That, to be with someone for so long, and love the other person with heart and soul and then suddenly moving away, cannot happen.
Maybe that time will come. Maybe the pain will stay forever.
People, don't expect a miracle to happen.
Understand that, I am human too. That is all I asked for. Asking for.
Let Time be the Healer.

Jack said...


Read all pending posts. Are you going for dance classes or not? The poem shows depth of your pain as does this post. I can well understand what you are going through. Wish I could do something. Time is a great healer but it still does not erase all memories, good or bad. Hope to hear from you.

Take care

Chandni (Chanz) said...

@ shayon : you have already shown a path... I think I could see it in your comment.. Just be strong to follow it..

Chandni (Chanz) said...

and sakshi.. miracles wont happen for sure... and nobody expects you to forget the good times when you wake up next morning.. It wont happen.. True it is that time is greatest healer. And it is time that shows us the correct path..

Good luck honey..