Monday, February 21, 2011

Off Marriages and Weddings

Yesterday, this friend of mine, more like my contemporary in the profession called me. He usually calls me when he is passing by my house, or maybe when he gets off from work early, or he has some work with me. So, he called me from this random number yesterday and the conversation that followed was this:

Me- 'Hello?'
Prats- 'Hi, Sakshi, Prats here!'
Me- 'Oye, Hi! Kiase yaad kiya?'
Prats- 'Ummm.. are you busy? Can we talk'
Me- ' it something important?'
Prats-  'Yeah'
*For some weird reason the first thought that pops in my mind is what I say; which is*
Me- 'Shhadi waadi ho rahi hai kya?*With an intent to pull his leg*'
Prats- 'Yeah'
Me- 'WTF'
(The rest was me mostly abusing him while he explained that why about a month back he and his girlfriend were super busy making their careers and all of a sudden he is getting married on 1st of March)
Yes, I shouted that it was child marriage.. but well, who cares!

With me feeling so, helpless about the fact that now even HE is getting married, boyfriend pings me on WhatsApps, and getting all emotional *which by the way is super cute* tells me, how happy he is for Dip and Sanchs.
*Dip is boyfriend's one of the best buddy from college, whose wedding he is attending in West Bengal*
And to add to the concoction of more of such news; Boyfriend informs me that another friend of his, is getting married in November.

Yes, after all this, the longing in me to get married increased. I just could not help wonder, that, this is like the nth wedding of a contemporary that I am being told about.. and as far as mine is concerned, I have no idea when will my big day be.
But don't be mistaken, I have of course imagined my perfect wedding. But, the truth is that there is nothing like a perfect or a dream wedding. The reality is the marriage after the dream of the wedding gets over. And knowing boyfriend and me, we will end up tearing each other off , from the word 'Go' of the wedding preparations. I know exactly what I want at my wedding. But then, the wedding is going to be ours, so me wanting something or the other, will be secondary.
But, then, I have also found a solution to the problem.. or so I am hoping to explain myself, who has imagined her fancy wedding.

I am trying very hard to coach myself that it is the 'Marriage' that is more important than the 'Wedding'! And I have thought, that, I will have all the functions- You see;
The 'Engagement/ Sagan' Ceremony;
then there are the 'Bachelor & Bachelorette ' parties;
the 'Mehndi & the Sangeet' *This is MY favourite out of all the wedding functions; it has to happen!!!*
the 'Haldi/Sainth' *For the unintiated; the bride is blessed by all the married, she is given the set of Red Bangles by her maternal uncle called 'Chura' and all her friends tie her the 'Kaliras'; and then the women put haldi on the bride so that she glows in the evening. This is one of the most Beautiful moment before marriage, the sudden realization by everyone that the little girl is not little anymore, invariably makes every sad and happy at the same time. I have seen most of the brides breaking down and crying at this time! And being the eldest from my maternal side and having three maternal uncles; who adore me and all; and then there is this small issue of me wanting to flaunt my 'Chura' (Yes, I know exactly the kinds I want!)*;
And then instead of the whole wedding ceremony, I would like to get the Registrar at home and do a civil marriage. *In the original plan; I had wanted to walk under the whole red chunni that my brothers would hold and the flower aisle which will lead to the mandap, the pandit chanting the matras and the 'Kanyadaan'; the thing that I know my father wants to do, the 'Pheras' and the sindoor and the magalsutra. I wanted the whole 'Joota' churaana thingy, with the jija saali negotiating the amount...*
Finally the Receptions *Two because, there would be one Punjabi style Reception & the other Bengali Style Reception; One in Delhi and the other one in Mumbai/ Calcutta or may be both the places!*

I think, I have lost it. Totally!
I can't plan my wedding, especially when the number of people involved in getting married are two. I know that I am assuming a lot of things here, especially the fact that Shayon is not going to object on this 'Wedding Plan'. I am going to be the first sister/ daughter in my family, whenever I get married *Unless younger sister decides to get married at 18!* and he is the only son of his parents and the youngest otherwise in the family, and the favourite. I am sure that his family would want a lot to do with this. I know so will mine. I have my Bua who says that she wants to host a function for me; and I have my Tyaji for whom it will be like marrying off her own daughter... there are my maternal uncles and mostly their wifes who are gearing up to play their roles. There are my parents, who probably planned the 'Kanyadaan' the moment they knew I was a girl.

And then there is me; I have grown up watching weddings, and each wedding in the family *Mostly my Dad's younger cousins; owing to the fact that I have a huge extended family and we are close to each other* was a project, a big one; from the right clothes to the right look, everything. Yes, I love weddings. I love to be an integral part of this special occasion for the two people who are starting this new journey together, and I feel, that if I do something that makes it memorable for them, I will be blessed. After all, even if it is the marriage that counts, there is no harm in making the wedding special. And unless you are Priyanka Chopra of 7 Khoon Maaf; you get married just once..  I don't know, how is it going to be for me though. Because, maybe by the end of the struggle of getting my parents to agree for me getting married to the boyfriend ends, I will be so exhausted that, I will want nothing, but just the marriage.

I know no one, who will be eager to make my journey through the aisle to my special someone, Special.


Tangled up in blue... said...

Every girl deserves a beautiful happy wedding and every woman strives to build a good strong loving marriage. May you be blessed with both, dear Sakshi. :)

Sachinky said...

My are your parents objecting to you getting married to your boyfriend?

Also, the title should read, "OF marriages..." as you're talking about weddings and marriages instead of making it sound like you're completely turned "OFF" by the whole wedding situation.

Me said...

Hey Sakshi,

Nice to read this post. Especially after attending my bro's wedding :D

We had a similar set of ceremonies.. taxing it is!

Wish u a happy wedding planning :D

Kali said...

This post made me smile from the start to the end! Good to know things between you and Shayon have worked out :) Awesome. make it sound quite exciting! :D

Bikram said...

yes it the marriage which is important but hey i would suggest do everything .. maybe not a big scale but small scale do everything ..
you only get married ONCE so m,ight well splurge...

and dont forget to invite me he hehehehe :)


Jack said...


Don't you worry there will be plenty who would like your wedding to be SPECIAL. And it is going to be soon. Hope you do remember to invite me over.

Take care

Moo said...

Dear Sakshity,

May you have all the happiness in the world and much, MUCH more. Yours and Shayon's shaadi is something I won't miss for the world (yes, despite hating weddings to no end!). So jaldi shaadi kar lo, mujhe leave ke liye apply karna hai! :D

Love you both! *hugs*