Thursday, June 23, 2011

Our Walk- For Dignity!

There is enough said on the web about the ‘Slut-Walk’; that is going to be organized in the rape capital, a.k.a. Delhi!
The media, the netizens,.. almost everyone has had their take on it. I also have a take on it. Actually I have been meaning to write for the longest time, but, my state of mind has been such, that I just could not formulate anything in my head to write a post that makes some sense.
But today when I read the post at Bohemian Rhapsody, I just could not stop myself from typing my thoughts out.
So, Ms. Seema Goswami thinks, that if we dress up the way we dress up, we should be ready to face the consequences of it. Therefore, if we do take her advise on this issue, we should dress up like idiots and go to work. But there is just one problem here, madam Goswami, that, even when we women are dressed up like idiots, or as a matter of fact, even if we are dressed up in Burqua’s, sarees or even bloody Salwar Kameez (with a dupatta mind you), we are sneered upon. Then what should we do?

Stop working, is what you or rather most of the people would say, but tell me, is that practical? Won’t that mean that India will be pushed back a couple centuries behind.. and you too happen to work, just that you are a media person and have all the money and wealth to afford it, the aam junta, can’t really afford that.

Why is it that, every time there is a question of women safety, it always comes down to the way we are dressed. Of course, we know what we are wearing. But, my question is, why the fuck can’t we wear what we like? Why should I be made to think twice if I have to wear a nice dress or a nice top?

Why can’t for a change, the mentality of the men be questioned? Just because you can’t tangibly measure it in the terms of whether it is dirty or not? Every time a woman whether dressed conventionally or provocatively walks in front of a man, if he is of a filthy mind, he will undress her, in his imagination, and rape her there and then. But, it doesn’t matter, because, by the virtue of being a woman, we invite it. Is that it?

The MEN will never change their mentality.. will they? The day they start truly respecting a woman, they will not be just innocent by standers to an incident of eve teasing. But no, they are males, and they have feelings too [read: EGO] and therefore to ‘protest’ against the Slut-walk, there is also a Stud-walk that is being organized… they basically are protesting against stereotyping of Delhi Boys as Jaat Boys who are rapists!!
How ridiculous is that?

Again the whole purpose of the Slut-Walk is lost on them!

And then, we are told, that we call it upon ourselves, when we dress the way we dress!
We have said it umpteenth times, but they don’t listen, do they? It is the menial mentality of the male that needs to be changed. And the first change that needs to be done is; to teach them by hook or by crook, that Women are human beings, not just a pound of flesh or a sex toy! And NO it doesn’t hurt your darling ego, if you mind your own business instead of leching over the next woman that passes by you! 

14 comments:

♪♪HARINI♪♪ said...

I completely agree. The way a women dresses is not the root of the problem. Its the way a man would look at any women.
And that was such frustrating and dumb article by seema goswami. Everytime something like this comes up, I can't help wondering if we don't have bigger problems than how much freedom a women should be given. And coming from a woman is the most irritating thing ever.

Alka Gurha said...

I read it. Seema writes for Brunch the HT magazine Sunday edition.
What you say is true but will this proposed provocative 'slut walk' change the mindsets?

Rachit said...

and the recent example is the state of UP where herds of rape crimes are creaming up the limelight. I'm support of the slut walk, yet I don't think it will be of any good in our country of all is good attitude.

Tangled up in blue... said...

The basic thing is that we all, collectively as a society, have to stop judging people from their appearances. Attire does not imply approval, nor does it determine 'character'.

We cant make presumptions about people based on the way they dress without knowing what they think.

A woman in a bikini is no more or no less a slut than a woman in a burqa, just as she is not any more or less free.

Jack said...

Sakshi,

While I advocate equal rights for girls with required amount of safety & care but I still do say that one should dress decently and that goes for boys too. It does not matter be it jeans & top, sarees or salwar kameez. It is just silly to say that girl invited it. What about minors or old women or housewives with few children? Did they ask the rapist to do so? It is excuse for our social weakness. I will definitely say that low waist jeans should not be worn not only by girls but boys too as it leads to indecent exposures. One can decide what to wear keeping that example in mind. Decent dress code should be adhered by both genders. Would society accept a male dressed in tight fitting pants outlining his crotch clearly? Sorry, not me at least. As per me he is shamelessly dressed. But will slut walk make any difference except giving field day to voyeurs. We need to raise awareness from young age itself.

Take care

☆ Rià ღ said...

u have written exactly what i feel whenever the question of our dressing arises!! Thanks for voicing my opinion...it is appalling to see women saying such things abt their own gender.

suruchi said...

Sakshi,
When we talk of dressing up inducing unnecessary attention, we talk of over the top provocative dressing that may not be suited to the kind of environ that you are going to...

of course a letchy mind knows no bars but inviting unnecessary trouble that can be avoided at our end, must be avoided.

the whole slut work issue is just another publicity gimmick or something to do for those who have nothing to do...there must be/should be better ways!

Sakshi said...

@Harini
Thanks for the support lad that you concur with my views! :)

Sakshi said...

@Alka
The slut walk may not be a solution, but it is just a way to at least voice our thoughts and fears.
It is the message that needs to be put across, by hook or by crook!

Sakshi said...

@Rachit
Yes, I agree it is all the game of the attitude and mentalities!
And don't mind, but it is really hard to change the mentalities or attitude of our society, unless an outright revolt is not done.

Sakshi said...

@TUIB
And that is THE point that I was making! Thanks :)

Sakshi said...

@Uncle J
"Dressing decently" and pray, how do you define that? A saree can be as sexy as maybe a bikini.
It always the eyes and the perception that make things go wrong!
Do you have ANY explanation as to why, any one would rape a 8 year old girl? Or a rickshaw puller rape a 65+ woman?

Sakshi said...

@ria

Thanks a ton :)

Sakshi said...

@Su
But the slut walk is just a way to shout our concerns na!