Wednesday, May 18, 2016

I am a nobody

For all my life, and trust me it's not been short, all I have done is trying to live up to the expectations. 
I just don't know how else to live. I try to make everyone happy. I don't remember the last time anyone bent too sideways for me. As for me, I think all I do is appease. Appease the Gods, the fate, appease the family, appease the boss, even my dog. 
I remember all those nights in my teenage, when I cried myself to sleep just hoping that I am understood. That for once my parents are proud of me. I remember windering about what is it that I do wrong. Why can't I ever get things in my brain. Why am I not tall, or pretty or thin? Why am I not talented? Why am I never good enough? Why is it that so wine else is better than me. I remember getting all the accolades in college, and being told that I am the one eyed kind amongst the blind. So much for being at the top. 
I am still not good enough. I still can't talk properly. I can't talk think properly and I can't seem to comprehend properly. 

It's almost 30 years of my being and I still can do nothing right. I am as ordinary as anyone else, the whole thing about being special.. It's nothing but new age mumbo jumbo. I am not even the hero in my own story. I am a nobody here too. 

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