Maybe that is the reason that I have so many grudges about being myself... and being frustrated about the way things move in my life.
I cry, when I am angry, and when I am shouting.
This is the case with my family members- Parents and younger sister.
When it come to Shayon, the only time that I have risen my voice is when maybe, my lil bit of existence is threatened by his actions.
But off late, I have been reading posts, that reflect my thoughts and my situations. I have also sent the links to Shayon. Moo's post is a typical conversation that I would like to have with my boyfriend. But, somehow, Chandni's post, and her talks on Space and importance of the same in any relationship have put me in an introspective mode....
But, today, when I read Kashvi's post on, how, her having argument really doesn't affect Ayn, I just couldn't help thinking that I am most of the time in the same situation... but then, I guess being in a 4 year old relationship, things tend to change.
I mean, I completely understand his problems and the kind of life that he is facing... but then what is the use of the whole moving to Delhi thing, when the little things that you craved for are not happening...
So here is a list of the little things that I wish Shayon would do, so that, our love life can be spiced up....or maybe, some practical things, that will make sure that I do not get so pissed at you...
1. I know, that there was an excuse when you had the old phone, that the keypad is bad, but now that you have a blackberry, an out of the blue sweet message wont hurt.
2. We do not need snail mails now... coz we are 15 mins away from each other, but a note or two, about anything would bring a smile on my lips.
3. I know you care for me. But, asking about my health, especially when you know I am ill, is a gentlemanly gesture.
4. I do not mind your boys nights, but, they eat on my time. What happened to the 10 mins, that were there for me,earlier...
5. You know, na, I deserved atleast a Rose, from YOU, on Valentine's Day....??
6. The last we talked was on Marine Drive... last year... 20th of December... when are we talking next??
7. Hmmm, I know you don't care, but complimenting me on a new look or dress... or commenting on it.... really helps...!!! Trust me. It shows that you are noticing me.
8. Why don't you call me back when I am angry at you and slam the phone down... it just gets me angrier... that my anger or me taking a stand on something, even if unreasonable doesn't matter to you... and it hurts...!!!
9. I love surprises.
10. I have told you, that I do not want to end up like Aman's mom, Please, do something about your weight, about your smoking and drinking...rest, I gave you a lecture... I dunno how much you heard me...!!!
I don't want these things to happen because they are like the 10 commandments or anything... I just want you to know, that, I Loved you because, it were these very little things that had mattered to you. Remember???
"Sweetheart, Please love me the same if not more...
Don't love me less, coz that is gonna leave me cold...
Be yourself, as you have been...
I know change is a constant...
But Please don't lose your sheen...
Its a Big Bad world Out there... you are my Knight,
Take me into light, don't loose me in the darkness...
You call yourself the Devil,
that too..the one with a smile and a dimple...
that brings me out of the darkest hour...
be it any day or any night...
I know I am being mean, when I say;
I just want you for myself,
so that you can love me ...for days and days...
You're not perfect... and neither am I,
But, just imagine a perfect world...
It wouldn't be a place for us...
Coz, the goddess and the devil,
have dared to love each other...
The two worlds have clashed...
will peace ever be there??
I dunno about Peace,
But I do know about me,
That the Goddess is gonna love her Devil...
That too the one with a smile and a dimple...
I will love you...like I have loved you...if not more...
Sweetheart,
Please love me the same if not more..
Coz that is gonna leave me Cold..."
PS: This is COMPLETELY MY COMPOSITION.
Sweetie- I know we both are trying... but... I had to say this to you...!!! Din really wanna hurt you. I love you.
8 comments:
everything fine sweetie?
sometimes its best to let your guy have some space..
take care..
-Maan
Yeah everything is fine. It is just that, I needed to vent out both my love and frustration...and thus this post.
How was the poem though?? ;)
hey,
the only reaction when i read the post is wow all relationships are same and all guys are like this only and so are the girls :P
so take it easy, there are far important things that you might have planed/talked/discussed about
P.S : try to understand shayon as a guy and not just your love and shayon if you read this understand sakshi as a girl !! :)
Sakshi,
First visit to your space. Read the available posts. Nice writings. Hope Shayon reads this and follows what you are dreaming of. Best of luck for a very very happy future.
Do visit me if you find time.
Take care
@Ashish,
I know that guys will be guys...!! and so will girls...
@ Nice guy
High hopes that Shayon will change completely...!!! But, I did visit your page... and I tried leaving a comment... I hope you got it...
Sakshi,
If not completely to a large extent should be acceptable, isn't it? I have replied to your comment in my space.
Take care
hey whats with the last point yaar.... i guess certain things should not be revealed that way infront of evryone... that what i feel.... i was a lil taken aback reading that sweetheart !
Akanksha- Thanks for dropping buy... I agree that somwthings aren't to be revealed... and they aren't...!!! Trust me.
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