Monday, May 4, 2009

Sometimes...

You know, sometimes, when I look back into the past, I feel that, I wish that I could alter somethings in my past life... 
But then, I realize- Past is past and I can't change it. What I can really do is make sure that I do not repeat the same mistake again. After all- ' To err is Human... and to forgive is divine',(But this saying is losing its significance everyday... )

I am going to share a story with you all in this post, I have no idea, why am I sharing this, but somehow I felt that- I need to.

Once there was a girl. Very average looking and equally average in all the spheres. She was neither good in studies, nor really great at sports, arts or anything of that sorts. Then, when she started school, she thought that maybe, being in a 'group' would help her find her identity in school. But, because she was so average she did not fit in. 
Then she thought, ok, I do not fit in, but I can try to be like them... or like the others. All through her school life, she tried to be like the others so that she can be friends with them. But she never could find true friends. Later in college, she again tried to be friends. But, she was snubbed. Because- she was snobbish for all. Always craving attention. Again she found no true friends.
But- On facebook and on orkut- She found her classmates back, from those school days, when she was trying to fit in. They all became friends. But not really friends. Years, had passed by. And I saw, the groups that she was yearning to be a part off, were broken. Because, she realised, that they all were a group for the heck of it. Not really true friends. The test of time... and something as small as shuffling of sections could not hold them together. 

Today, she knows, that even though they are on each other's friends list... they are no more friends. Because, friends, are friends, not because of convenience but because... they care.
And that girl, till date- Doesn't have a 'group' doesn't really have friends . Just one best friend. That best friend has group and she is jealous. But then again. She is very average... and she doesn't really fit in. She is always a 'tag along' because- no group of friends means no plans... no parties. But, then... she doesn't really fit in.

As she sits and thinks about this- she realises, that, its not that she doesn't fit in... but its because, she was never accepted as herself . She thinks, I am glad that I did not change for any one and I am me. And she thinks, that,  God's blessings are the friends that accept you the way you are. Those are the friends that are tough to find... 
She prays- That all the people in the world who have these set of true friends- always remember- That even though they are not the same... they are together because- They love each other and care for each other... and not because they want to fit in. These are friends who stay on for life...

God bless them.

You know, why I shared this story... because- Its my story. I do not have the group of friends... I have never really fit in. Despite the fact that I get jealous... of all of them who have a life outside of being friend... and in that life I am not included... I feel happy- because- I am not pretending anymore. And I pray- That, the group of friends that I know, remain friends forever... because they care and not because it was friendship of convenience. 

4 comments:

Ashish Surana said...

absolutely true buddy and you are right too..
...my story has been like that too !!

But but but...dont feel jealous,dont get sad of not having a group of friends..those are just trivial things :)

The Footloose Doll said...

You stood up for yourself and didn't change to suit anyone else's preferences, that makes you a better, more wonderful person Sakshi. And it's the loss of all those people who've ever snubbed you that you're not friends with them.

I say this, not because I am one of those lucky people who you call friends but because you are a truly incredible person.

*hugs*

Jack said...

Sakshi,

Read 2 posts now. I had my pocket picked twice in Delhi. One can never be too careful. Your feeling of being ignored may be due to stress of studies. Try to remain cool. I always have 2 pairs of specs lest one breaks. Now for this post I am giving two couplets :

" I will give all my tomorrows for a single yesterday "

" If I am I because I am I
and you are you because you are you
then we are
but if I am I because you are you
and you are you because I am I
then we are not ".

Take care

Sakshi said...

@ Ashish
Hmmm... I would have loved to have a group of friends... so not so Trivial.

@ Ms. Footloose
:), I love you...!!!

@ NG
I can always count on you for some great advice...!! Thank You..!!! Btw- Just got my new specs...!!! they are similar to the old ones... but a lil more black but red is there nevertheless...!!!
But- Now I think- I should have gotten bright pink frames...