Monday, April 12, 2010

Child is the Father of Man..

When Wordsworth said this little proverb little did he know that the newer generation would strive it to make it a reality. A truth. A fact.

Times have changed. And so have the children today. It was often said that Parents never need lessons to raise their own kids, but with the changing scenario in an uber competitive world, it seems that a child should be perfect when born, and parents, well super human beings is the correct adjective to use for them.

This is actually inspired by the Kid I am tutoring these days, the class 4 kid of a famous public school is a hard nut to crack. He is super intelligent, has tonnes of energy, and is inquisitive beyond his good. He is opinionated, stubborn, and knows exactly what he wants. Which unfortunately doesn't always mean that this is what is actually desired.
Today, as he has done at least twice in the last two weeks, he refused to come down to sit and study with me. After coaxing him for almost 45 minutes, he decided to come and tell me the homework that he got, and finally after another 15 minutes of running away from me he told me that he is very angry with his elder brother, mother and me.
I told him, that, fine, he doesn't have to talk to me, or study with me, he should just do some corrections while I am having my glass of juice and then, I will leave anyways. The baby then runs away into the other room to sulk, and I go after him, to ask what really is the matter.
There he tells me, that he is angry with everyone and that he will not talk to anybody. After coaxing him for like I dunno how much time, trying to explain to him that if others start behaving the way he is behaving with them now, it would hurt him too. And then it finally he relented and he told me, what his problem is-
He says that, his mother spends more time with his elder brother than with him, and that she does not even have time to talk to him. 
I was shocked to hear this, because his mother is a really nice woman. She herself is a teacher in a school, and is managing her house with two boys, husband and in laws.
I had a very uncomfortable conversation with her after that, when I was trying to convey what her son had told me. I felt so bad. Because, I know that she is trying very hard to balance her time with everything.
How is it that the children today know more about, how to taunt your parents into getting them anything and everything... and still not have enough confidence in them that they are doing their level best to spend time with them.
In the present times, when everything has become so expensive, and lifestyles are changing a double income in the family is a must. But then, at the cost of providing best education to your children, getting them trained sports, the parents are not able to find time for the children for whom they want to provide.
This is the situation now. What will happen a couple of years later?

Is it just me, or is starting life on your own terms, actually a tough job?


Shayon said...

"Life on your own terms" has always been a tough job, be it today, be it a millennium before us. We have seen enough cases where despite the parents trying their best to provide the best education and life to their kids, they ended up with a fucked up life. And we have also seen kids with unthinkably abused childhood and have yet managed to outshine the peers and made their parents feel proud.

I do not think it's about life, at all. It's more about how you live it. The kid's mother might have been out all day and hence not been able to shower enough attention on him. On the other hand, is there any guarantee that the mother would have been able to raise her kids just the way she wanted?

Sweetheart, almost everybody in this world tries to raise his/her kids the best way possible, to the best of their means, and to the best of their knowledge, and to the best of their exposure. There no right or wrong formula here. Life becomes beautiful when you stay happy within your means, but without losing the hunger for growth.

And of course, everyone makes mistakes. As long as you try to rectify them once they come out in the open, life is BEAUtiful!!

Sakshi said...

Oh Well, it is a tough job. Trust me, I am not looking forward to doing the same with my kids. I hope that either they are not boys, and if they are then they should be nice and not mean.
(Yeah I am being biased, I want daughters over sons)

Shalini said...

Oh boy! It is a problem for working mothers...and fathers too but more so for mothers. I complain the same thing to my mom too(okay fine...I just turned 20, still a kid right?).
There are somethings that you can only share with your mom, sometimes its like you want to talk to her! On those days, I have to run behind mom while she does her chores and talk to her and I dont even know if she's listening to whatever I am saying!
She comes from the office, starts cooking dinner, then she eats and watches her serials and then sleeps! Where is the time???

It is tough, juggling between demanding job and demanding kids.

Shayon said...

That's not called being 'biased'... that's called having a preference. It will become a biasness only when you start mistreating you boys, because they din't end up being girls. And as for being 'nice and not mean', you should hope for the same in case they r daughters, too! :-)

Chandni (Chanz) said...

Same here sakshi.. I want two daughters,beautiful in every respect... I so so want to get married and have kids of my own (err.. daughters)...

you know what... about 4 years back, my neice who must be 4 years then, she told her mom that she is doing her eyebrows because she has to go a party... and... imagine what she said... "dont wait up for me, mom... i'll be late tonight"... can you beat that...

and once her mom got a new haircut done and she is telling her, "mom, you are looking like sexy suzy"...

Kids... Aaaaaaaahhh...

Suruchi said...

You have captured just a part of the larger picture of troubles Sakshi!

Too many expectations at both ends are straining the parent-child equation these days!
We so need to let our children breathe and live and not brush past their childhood!

All of us need time...the amount of time our spouse spends with us is directly proportional to how much love he bears us!
That is how children also think!
Unfortunately not always can the bridges be built to link the thought differences!

Sakshi said...

@ Shalini
I actually dunno, about demanding careers and moms, because my mum is a teacher, and she would normally be back home before all of us from her school.
I think, I have never really had things to talk to her.
But yeah, it is becoming really tough. My sister in law and my sister both gave up their jobs when the kids arrived.

Kids these days are way ahead of their time, and we can't really blame them. It is the exposure. If we don't give that, then we are called primitive. Vicious circle.

"Unfortunately not always can the bridges be built to link the thought differences!"

But there has to be a way out na? Something?