Tuesday, April 20, 2010

There are certain moments in life when realization hits you so bad that all you want to do is sit and wonder, whether you did something like this, and if you did, then how could you do it.

Yeah, this bout of realization hit me at 1.30 am in the night. I will not really disclose the source of this realization, but, right now I am scared. Scared to death.

I desired power. I am ashamed to say that, I misused to create a mess that refuses to untangle. I have tried so hard to untangle this mess that- I am losing all control and all measures of it.
And in the process, I have hurt people. I have hurt played with their feelings. Caused enough pain to last a lifetime.
Words have been spoken, that should not have been.
Actions by me, that have created havoc, which reminds you of nothing less than a natural calamity playing havoc with innocent lives.

In a bid to find my self. I have lost everything that I have stood for, my entire 23.5 years of my life.

And, I do not know, if I would ever get a chance to, and even if I do, if I will have the courage to owe up to it-
Yes I have fucked up major time. Not only in your minds, but in your hearts and souls. And, all I want to say to those dear people- 
That I am really sorry for causing you so much of pain and hurt. I am sorry for the storm that has been stirred up, and equally sorry for all the love that has been lost. 
If at all, I get a chance, I wish to heal you all and to make you smile and love the way that was.

I truly am sorry.
PS: The people referred to, know who they are. Thus, no comments required.