Women rejuvenate either by a trip to the mall,
A bar of Chocolate,
Sex maybe...
But a Makeover certainly makes her feel good.
It changes her image... makes her feel new and above all makes her feel good about being a woman.
Its so strange that at times we forget the value of changinging our looks... changing just the way we are. I was also very very scared of change.
All through my school life and for three years in college, I had Long...reallly long hair. Mum used to take care of my hair till I was in school n then in college, I was taking care of it... but it was streotyping me. That led to the very step in my makeover that started last year... on my last day I decided to get my hair cut. Not short like really short... but short enough to make ppl gasp around me. When I got out of the airport , My mom n sis din recogonise me.... almost disowning me. But gradually people decided that I was looking good. And on sunday I finally got reall funk in my hair...I got it coloured...and cut n styled....
And I am feeling very very good about the whole thing... makes me feel like a new person altogether...!!!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Is love doomed...!!!???
I am in a great mood...!!! In the morning today, when I got up, I talked to Shayon... the first thing in the morning... that too, for a nice long time minus any interruption...!!! That is why I have this silly smile on my face right now.
Last night, I finished reading this book, called , 'A message in the Bottle' by Nicholas Sparks. And OMG.... I think with every book that I read of his, I am becoming more of his fan. This time the book with dealt with two people who got doomed in love, the heroine, got divorced and the hero lost his wife in an accident. Its been over three years and they both are dealing with their loss in their own way living miles apart. On one forced vacation, that the heroine takes, she comes across a bottle that contains a message in the bottle. That letter is by the hero to his dead wife.... his feelings put in words. That one message and circumstances later force our heroine to find the hero... and when they finally meet sparks fly... but they both live miles apart and thus comes the distance is a problem... he asks her to move to where he lives... but she cant... the reason that he wanted her there was coz he was still not over his late wife...and whenever he was ready to move on... his guilt for his late wife was not letting him move forward... and the ending was sad. (For details- read the book..!!!)
As usual, I was crying by the end.
But, that really made me sit and think... I may have not read many, but whatever love stories that really really touches your heart leaves you in tears. It gives you a heart ache... and while you are reading that book, your faith in love gets reiterated and when you reach the end... you end up thinking... why?
Why would destiny be so cruel... and why would it be so unfair to two people who are in love..... !!! I always end up getting angry at the author... cursing him for being so cruel... If love is so doomed... then why love at all..... or maybe that is the reason that shallow relationships exists...!!!
But I still believe in love, its an emotions that brings the best out in you...!!! And makes even a grouch smile alot...!!!
Last night, I finished reading this book, called , 'A message in the Bottle' by Nicholas Sparks. And OMG.... I think with every book that I read of his, I am becoming more of his fan. This time the book with dealt with two people who got doomed in love, the heroine, got divorced and the hero lost his wife in an accident. Its been over three years and they both are dealing with their loss in their own way living miles apart. On one forced vacation, that the heroine takes, she comes across a bottle that contains a message in the bottle. That letter is by the hero to his dead wife.... his feelings put in words. That one message and circumstances later force our heroine to find the hero... and when they finally meet sparks fly... but they both live miles apart and thus comes the distance is a problem... he asks her to move to where he lives... but she cant... the reason that he wanted her there was coz he was still not over his late wife...and whenever he was ready to move on... his guilt for his late wife was not letting him move forward... and the ending was sad. (For details- read the book..!!!)
As usual, I was crying by the end.
But, that really made me sit and think... I may have not read many, but whatever love stories that really really touches your heart leaves you in tears. It gives you a heart ache... and while you are reading that book, your faith in love gets reiterated and when you reach the end... you end up thinking... why?
Why would destiny be so cruel... and why would it be so unfair to two people who are in love..... !!! I always end up getting angry at the author... cursing him for being so cruel... If love is so doomed... then why love at all..... or maybe that is the reason that shallow relationships exists...!!!
But I still believe in love, its an emotions that brings the best out in you...!!! And makes even a grouch smile alot...!!!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
What happens?-II
Well... the last post was the jist of all the frustration that I have.
Its not fair.
And I have said this maybe oblong number of times, but then this is the truth.
Its a fact. And the fact is that when things dont go your way, you say that life is not fair. I am sure, life must be rolling its eyes and saying... oh gosh that is not done...!!!
I am a great law firm. Atleast the mumbai counterpart is supposed to be great. But, then there is hardly any work to do. Its just my luck that thanks to a fellow intern both of us have landed ourselves into a great project and as soon as we wind that up, we are gone.
But its the people. Its the sheltered life that I have been leading which did not let me see and make out the real complications and complexes that people have. I am not coming in any one's way and if I follow the office norms and ask the boss for half day off then, I get to hear that I am an miserly intern and that he doesn't care.
My birthday is coming up, reading the ol blogs I see that there has been an element of satisfaction that is there but this time I am feeling very bad. Because of Several reasons ofcourse... My parents went awat to Luckhnow coz of a stupid client and his stupid son getting married. Priorities have changed. My birthday comes every year, but the engagement doesnt. Client is important.
When no one is showing excitement about my birthday why should I? or Maybe I should be showing excitement so that people get excited. Aman's Birthday was special so was tyaji's but my birthday my own parents are not going to be here. Very nice na.
One way of looking at it is that Shayon had to go through bad times. I prayed that all his bad time comes to me and he just remains happy. So this maybe the part of the bargain.
Its not fair.
And I have said this maybe oblong number of times, but then this is the truth.
Its a fact. And the fact is that when things dont go your way, you say that life is not fair. I am sure, life must be rolling its eyes and saying... oh gosh that is not done...!!!
I am a great law firm. Atleast the mumbai counterpart is supposed to be great. But, then there is hardly any work to do. Its just my luck that thanks to a fellow intern both of us have landed ourselves into a great project and as soon as we wind that up, we are gone.
But its the people. Its the sheltered life that I have been leading which did not let me see and make out the real complications and complexes that people have. I am not coming in any one's way and if I follow the office norms and ask the boss for half day off then, I get to hear that I am an miserly intern and that he doesn't care.
My birthday is coming up, reading the ol blogs I see that there has been an element of satisfaction that is there but this time I am feeling very bad. Because of Several reasons ofcourse... My parents went awat to Luckhnow coz of a stupid client and his stupid son getting married. Priorities have changed. My birthday comes every year, but the engagement doesnt. Client is important.
When no one is showing excitement about my birthday why should I? or Maybe I should be showing excitement so that people get excited. Aman's Birthday was special so was tyaji's but my birthday my own parents are not going to be here. Very nice na.
One way of looking at it is that Shayon had to go through bad times. I prayed that all his bad time comes to me and he just remains happy. So this maybe the part of the bargain.
What happens?
What happens when all that you have dreamt off, comes true but with consequences and emotions that you din't even know exisited???
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
How to fulfill the Promise of Love??
Last night was probably the most important night in terms of my relationship with Shayon.
Life is not easy when you are in a long distance relationship. Numerous discussions in the last few posts have been talking about that.... But ultimately Ellie, Ms. Footloose Doll, Shayon n I agreed to the fact that even if takes all that you have.... we all know why we are in this relationship. And that the wait to be together is worth all the sleepless nights when you actually fall into your loved ones arms and forget everything that you have been through.
But, then, how so ever hard you try there are times when you just cant take it anymore... there are times when at the end of the day... you just want the person you love in the vicinity... its not fair that when you need the one you love the most he/she is not around.... and there is nothing that you can do about it. Because you know that as much as you want that person to be around its vise versa too...!!!
The level of frustration of being apart was even worse last night when Shayon poured his heart out me about the fact that he is having a tough time not having me around...!!! Things for him are also falling apart... he still has his job but his college people apparently love him so much that they just cant let him go. He is in Tatanagar because hi professors wont pass him in a subject that really doesn't matter.... its their Ego that is preventing them from doing that. (The sanctity of being a teacher has stooped this low...!!!) and this is the time that he needs me the most. Not only that even in mumbai after a hard days work... he is pretty much on his own accessing wi-fi from a mall...
Its not just him that wants me there, I too have been dying to go there... but apparently fate...destiny etc etc... dont really want that....
After his outburst last night, I was aghast... and my normal soothing self where I reassure him that everything is going to be ok.... broke down. My personal vow to be strong..because out of two of us...one of us has to be strong. I lost all my composure and at 2.30 in the morning I was crying wondering whether all my reassurances have gone in vain and if this year I will ever get to see him...
In that I moment I promised Shayon that come what may...I will put everything that I have in finding a way so that we two may get together and meet...
But, in the morning.... the fear and the vulnerability is back.... I am almost 22, but I still don't have a job that is paying me... and my parents dont know about my LDR. (Even if they knew about it... it wouldn't have helped... I would get into more trouble...)
I have made a promise because, our relationship has seen the time when we did not have a single penny in our pockets, and the STD rates being 3.50 a minute and we still managed to scrounge some money and talk to each other..... no net connection but still managing to email each other... we have been through a phase where our mutual trust in each other and the commitment of love towards each other has thrown away mis understanding helping us cross the bridge one step at a time. Yes, there have been temptations... and not one... but many...not for him but for me either...
Together we have defied odds of our relationship surviving more than a few months. We have shut up all the skeptics....
In a world where there is use and throw... we have managed to respect each others decisions...
Its on this that I have made a promise...
I trust my love... my God who made our Destiny collide...and let it stay that way. I have made a promise for that...
All I want is a sincere opportunity to fulfill this promise.
Life is not easy when you are in a long distance relationship. Numerous discussions in the last few posts have been talking about that.... But ultimately Ellie, Ms. Footloose Doll, Shayon n I agreed to the fact that even if takes all that you have.... we all know why we are in this relationship. And that the wait to be together is worth all the sleepless nights when you actually fall into your loved ones arms and forget everything that you have been through.
But, then, how so ever hard you try there are times when you just cant take it anymore... there are times when at the end of the day... you just want the person you love in the vicinity... its not fair that when you need the one you love the most he/she is not around.... and there is nothing that you can do about it. Because you know that as much as you want that person to be around its vise versa too...!!!
The level of frustration of being apart was even worse last night when Shayon poured his heart out me about the fact that he is having a tough time not having me around...!!! Things for him are also falling apart... he still has his job but his college people apparently love him so much that they just cant let him go. He is in Tatanagar because hi professors wont pass him in a subject that really doesn't matter.... its their Ego that is preventing them from doing that. (The sanctity of being a teacher has stooped this low...!!!) and this is the time that he needs me the most. Not only that even in mumbai after a hard days work... he is pretty much on his own accessing wi-fi from a mall...
Its not just him that wants me there, I too have been dying to go there... but apparently fate...destiny etc etc... dont really want that....
After his outburst last night, I was aghast... and my normal soothing self where I reassure him that everything is going to be ok.... broke down. My personal vow to be strong..because out of two of us...one of us has to be strong. I lost all my composure and at 2.30 in the morning I was crying wondering whether all my reassurances have gone in vain and if this year I will ever get to see him...
In that I moment I promised Shayon that come what may...I will put everything that I have in finding a way so that we two may get together and meet...
But, in the morning.... the fear and the vulnerability is back.... I am almost 22, but I still don't have a job that is paying me... and my parents dont know about my LDR. (Even if they knew about it... it wouldn't have helped... I would get into more trouble...)
I have made a promise because, our relationship has seen the time when we did not have a single penny in our pockets, and the STD rates being 3.50 a minute and we still managed to scrounge some money and talk to each other..... no net connection but still managing to email each other... we have been through a phase where our mutual trust in each other and the commitment of love towards each other has thrown away mis understanding helping us cross the bridge one step at a time. Yes, there have been temptations... and not one... but many...not for him but for me either...
Together we have defied odds of our relationship surviving more than a few months. We have shut up all the skeptics....
In a world where there is use and throw... we have managed to respect each others decisions...
Its on this that I have made a promise...
I trust my love... my God who made our Destiny collide...and let it stay that way. I have made a promise for that...
All I want is a sincere opportunity to fulfill this promise.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
The lull after the storm...The Internship story...
My first week in office is almost over.
I did not write about my first day or my second dya..coz I did not want to sound judjemental... or rather I wanted to make sure that the first impression lasts...
My office is in C.P. more precisely on the Kasturba Gandi Marg. The name of the buildidng is Naurang House. Its a red and a black bulding with the office of Desai and Dewanji being on the fourth floor.
The office is not huge. But its new. It is an offshoot of their Mumbai office. About 20 lawyers minus the partners work there... there are two partners apart from the usual crowd of lawyers. They were very nice to me on my first day. I even got some work to do... on the second day also I was working the whole time. Nothing much... proof reading the documents...and researching etc... but for the pst two days there is hardly any work that is coming my way. So much so...I am noticing that most of the new lawyers are working on a single case... and taking their own sweet time to make the applications etc.. a few of them have no work at all... I see them chatting the whole day...or orkutting or redaing the newspaper. And that is the reason I have not exactly been working for the past two days... no work has come my way.... all I do there is work of the steno...
I am not learning anything... the people are nice... but that is it.... I am not a workoholic...but I dont like to sit idle especially when I am supposed to be working. I know that I am not learning anything that is going to help me be a lawyer... except that even in corporate law firms... life is a bitch...and politics rule the roost...!!!!
Clearly put- The whole Intern thingy is strictly OK. Or maybe I was expecting more...!!!
I did not write about my first day or my second dya..coz I did not want to sound judjemental... or rather I wanted to make sure that the first impression lasts...
My office is in C.P. more precisely on the Kasturba Gandi Marg. The name of the buildidng is Naurang House. Its a red and a black bulding with the office of Desai and Dewanji being on the fourth floor.
The office is not huge. But its new. It is an offshoot of their Mumbai office. About 20 lawyers minus the partners work there... there are two partners apart from the usual crowd of lawyers. They were very nice to me on my first day. I even got some work to do... on the second day also I was working the whole time. Nothing much... proof reading the documents...and researching etc... but for the pst two days there is hardly any work that is coming my way. So much so...I am noticing that most of the new lawyers are working on a single case... and taking their own sweet time to make the applications etc.. a few of them have no work at all... I see them chatting the whole day...or orkutting or redaing the newspaper. And that is the reason I have not exactly been working for the past two days... no work has come my way.... all I do there is work of the steno...
I am not learning anything... the people are nice... but that is it.... I am not a workoholic...but I dont like to sit idle especially when I am supposed to be working. I know that I am not learning anything that is going to help me be a lawyer... except that even in corporate law firms... life is a bitch...and politics rule the roost...!!!!
Clearly put- The whole Intern thingy is strictly OK. Or maybe I was expecting more...!!!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Bitter sweet taste of Life
A few years back... there was huge fad amongst us , it was about filling up slam books...!!! It was so much of fun to get that little book filled by your friends and the reading about their crushes and movies and of course their most memorable moments etc.
In that book there was a column about What is Love to you- And I used write a cheesy answer to that...I used to say Love is like dark chocolate... Bitter and sweet at the same time.
I did not realise that the same was true for Life as well. I am very upset. Because my sweetest desires are immediately followed by bitterness of something bad happening. I got to know the date sheet of the remaining two examinations that got postponed. It so happens that the University ppl have changed the venue of the exams. They have changed the sequence of the exam and the cherry on the top is that the two papers are 20 days apart. Can you believe it. One paper is on the 6th and the other is on the 26th. And our seniors dont have a clue about their viva of practicals. Isnt this amazing...!!!
The only good thing is that I am glad that I decided to join my Internship now. Had I waited...i would have given away a great opportunity. Its just that, I really really have been wanting to go to Mumbai. You know whenever Shayon talks about the distance between us... and that we should meet now... n all... I am always the rational one. But on the inside... I cry... coz I too want to be with him...n not for two days...but for a long time. Distance has tested us...now its the close proximity that needs to be tested. I feel so scared that we might not be compatible once we start staying in the same city. Ok, I know I am sounding MAD... but this is killing me... I want a normal relationship...and the only way as of now is that I get a job in mumbai. Yahan par toh exams ne hi beragarg kiya hua hai...!!!
I pray to God, that he knows about love...coz that is what he preaches....so he should be kind on us...!!! Dont we deserve...love with physical proximity...being minimal???
In that book there was a column about What is Love to you- And I used write a cheesy answer to that...I used to say Love is like dark chocolate... Bitter and sweet at the same time.
I did not realise that the same was true for Life as well. I am very upset. Because my sweetest desires are immediately followed by bitterness of something bad happening. I got to know the date sheet of the remaining two examinations that got postponed. It so happens that the University ppl have changed the venue of the exams. They have changed the sequence of the exam and the cherry on the top is that the two papers are 20 days apart. Can you believe it. One paper is on the 6th and the other is on the 26th. And our seniors dont have a clue about their viva of practicals. Isnt this amazing...!!!
The only good thing is that I am glad that I decided to join my Internship now. Had I waited...i would have given away a great opportunity. Its just that, I really really have been wanting to go to Mumbai. You know whenever Shayon talks about the distance between us... and that we should meet now... n all... I am always the rational one. But on the inside... I cry... coz I too want to be with him...n not for two days...but for a long time. Distance has tested us...now its the close proximity that needs to be tested. I feel so scared that we might not be compatible once we start staying in the same city. Ok, I know I am sounding MAD... but this is killing me... I want a normal relationship...and the only way as of now is that I get a job in mumbai. Yahan par toh exams ne hi beragarg kiya hua hai...!!!
I pray to God, that he knows about love...coz that is what he preaches....so he should be kind on us...!!! Dont we deserve...love with physical proximity...being minimal???
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