The Friday that made me dance...

On 10th july 2009, Shayon and I danced together for the first time in 4.5 years of being together.

Yes. You can read that again and again, with opne eyes and mouth.

He is not really a dancer, so, we hardly go drinking and dancing. Its mostly drinking...

It so happened that a dear friend of ours, was nice enough to gift us two passes (VIP, mind you) to the VH1, handpicked- OUTLANDISH concert which was happening in Hard Rock Cafe (YEAH- More popped eyes... I know). The friend was very clever and got one pass shipped to me and the other to him.

Now, came the matter of 'permissions'... The story was put in place... most of it was true, except that the 'boyfriend' was replaced with 'just friends'. My parents took me there, watched a movie while we went inside HRC.

Being the VIPs has its perks- The food and the drinks were on the house. Yipee...!!!!

And then there was the concert. Which was of course awesome. But what was more awesome was the fact that I had Shayon's arms around my waist all the time. Yeah- we closed danced, the whole time the gig was on. It felt- so natural... so wow.

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In the other news- The newest blog discovery is Miss M. Who is great. Loved her thoughts and her side of the world.

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Ahem- I had the best weekend of my life. Friday was the concert. Saturday Lunch with Shayon and Sunday evening was with a couple of friends of Shayon and me.

Life is going great. I just hope that- happiness stays... and that God's grace bestow upon me.

Cheers...

The great Indian Parent TRAP...!!!

Before any of you raise ANY eyebrows.. I love my parents. They are the best. And they are the reason that I am even writing a post and why I exist. BUT...

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I think in the slew of depressing posts that I written, I had mentioned about how the parents love to live their dream through their children, AND that how pressures are built on a child...

etc etc.

The same thing is happening with me.

I know that I have said this before... but now, the pressures are building and its getting way out of my hand, because, tempers have also started flaring.

My entire SUNDAY was RUINED. Thanks to one small discussion on my future.

A little background will help-

We are a family of lawyers. So in the coming say year or so, officially there are going to be seven cousins of mine including me who would be lawyers. And since I dropped an year in engineering and all, instead of graduating this year with two of my other cousins, I am going to graduate next year.

This fact- that the other two cousins of mine who are not as 'intelligent' as me (AS per my mom) graduating before me etc etc has given some weird insecurity to my mother. And my father anyway thinks that I am not fit for this profession because I am girl and that I have to get married etc etc. Also, for a fact that, I am not into litigation at all, the primary practise of my father.

Therefore- both of them have started pushing me to start studying for Judiciary. (For all those who don't know- Its an exam you give to become a judge.) The main attraction being that its a government job and that even though in the beginning it doesn't pay well, and whatever- there is job security. No one can kick you out unless you behave like an ass.

Btw- my mother toned down from her wanting me to do IAS to getting into judiciary.

I have NO idea, as how and why did his godforsaken idea came into their heads. I have never thought about doing a government job. And even if I sit and think about it now, I just can't seem really make my mind or my heart see sense in doing a government job. And they can't seem to see or understand that- For the heck of Job Security, I just can't let go of dreams... those dreams that I have been building towards. Had I wanted to do Judiciary, I would have worked hard from the very day I joined Law school.

What happens to my dreams of becoming a hot shot corporate lawyer who ultimately joins UN? or What happens to my dreams of travelling the world, which I cannot do if I am in government job? Or for that matter- chuck all other dreams- why am I not being given a chance to think out of the box... and decide the kind of life I want for my for myself?

Why? Why?

MY life-make me answerable for it. I listen to them now, and after marriage listen to the inlaws and husband. Its a catch 22 situation.

And exactly at what age do the parents in India need to feel that they let go of the children and tell them to dream to dream their own dreams and not live their parents dreams... it becomes a vicious circle- You live your parents dreams, your children live yours... so on and so forth... where does it end? Isn't this the very reason that despite the development the Indians do not move forward with times and even today, when you are with a coed group of friends and you meet a relative in the same mall as you are- You are looked at with such curious eyes...

Its just beyond my understanding.

Its beyond my understanding that when I am interning and I return home late from work, why am I scolded... and its beyond my understanding that why can't the parents let it be.

I am almost 23. On one hand they give me shit like- that you are all ready to get married and on the other hand I am not given permission to party or stay out with my friends late...

My parent don't even know half of the friends that I have... because if I start explaining to them how we became friends and all- from friends friends etc... they will freak out.

I don't know how am I ever going to get my point across to them.

They are lovely people... one of the best set of parents that I have seen amongst my friends... but- I don't know what happens to them when it comes to me and the important decisions that have to be made in regard to my life. I should just be telling them the decision and having a matured discussion on it. But instead, I am treated like a freaking 10 year old who doesn't know a thing.

What am I ever gonna do??

Quicky...

Here are some quick updates...!!! (The LONGER post is still due..Palease bear..)

• The show was awesome fun. It was a crazy technical reharsals, crazier giving the final perfomance and craziest was the after show effect... when we all went mad in the green room sorts.
• The weekend was great. Guess what? Kashvi came to DELHI...!!! And we MET!!! It was a GREAT saturday. The cherry on the top? Well, Shayon also came and joined us.. that meant an impromptu date for us. It was so cool..!!!
• Sunday was langar organized by us at the local gurudwara, and phew, it was hot and humid. And then, I went Red Spaghetti hunting.
• My internship started today. Very chilled out place..almost feels like a startup. Just three of us in office.
• Rains. FINALLY. Dreamcatcher's threats have finally worked. Or maybe, she did do the rain dance or gave a human sacrifice to the Gods.
• Now, the rains are great. The INSECTS are YUCK.
• And all those who are wondering, why isn't Kashvi updating, well, poor girl's comp crashed. Wish her comp a quick and healthy recovery.

Happy Doctors Day, to all the dear Doctors.

Cheers!!!

I have to write a LONG post...

I have been DAMN lazy. Sorry.

The dance show is tomorrow evening, I am nervous.

There is loads and loads to write about. See you all soon.

Love you!!

Why good looking is so important??

Well, you all do know about the dance class.. and about the show that is going to happen on the 29th??

Oh, I think that you know about my dance class but not about the show.. so The Dance Worx(my dance class) has a summer workshop and at the end of which there is a show. My show is on the 29th of June. And NO I am not excited about it...

I know that I am not a great dancer, but at leat I am much much better than the ones my Instructor is favoring.

The batch is doing 3 songs of almost a minute each. The batch has been divided into two groups, one group is performing on Jai Ho, PCD version and the other on Nelly Furtado feat Timbaland, Give it to me and the Finale i.e the third song is called Shut Up..

I am in the second song, I am standing in the first row, but on the extreme right. The centre stage is a guy, who is a fantastic dancer.. but its the girl standing on his right that is killing me... she is no great dancer... and I am like completely invisible to the eyes of the instructor.

Jai Ho group is looking terrible btw.. and in the finale he puts that group right in front.

All of us in the other group are very upset.

And- take this- the only reason why Mr. Instructor favors certain girls is because they are way good looking... and have that snooty attitude in them.

Hello?

I mean- I am not that bad looking.. but today- I really don't feel like I am beautiful.

If beauty is just skin deep... then why does it become so important to always have that flawless skin.. and be fair and great looking. I say great looking because- all of us are good looking in one way or the other..

I do not wear the spaghetti tops and cross straps bra in the dance class, because- I think that more important than showing off your skin its important to show off your dancing skills... skimpy clothes do not make a person more able to dance.

I am thanking my good senses- that I came to realise, and realise on time that I am dancing for myself.. I know it will help if Mr. Instructor notices me too... but his criteria and level of thinking is way below my expectations. I am disappointed in him.

But- isn't this the way our society is also? Have you really noticed the amount of creams and lotions that are in the market for making your skin visibly fairer??

Intially it was only the women but now- its the metro sexual male also who likes to have a visibly fairer skin.

Even the F&*%*^% ads that are on television just talk about how important is to cultivate a fair and flawless skin. That it is the only; mind you ONLY gateway to success... how discouraging is that? What happened to all that talk about- internal beauty and true talent? My mother keeps on getting me all kinds of creams so that my complexion too can be improved. According to her I was very gora gora till the time I was a kid.. but later thanks to the exposure of the sun etc i have visibly gotten tanned...

It seems after the second class treatment here, I really should take her advice more often.

DISGUSTING...!!!

Where is the EXIT??

I can hardly see a thing...

nothing absolutely nothing is clear to me.

I have been sitting home for a month and I have done exactly nothing productive.

My professional life is anyway always in a mess... and I am not exactly spending my sunsets at the beach as far as my personal life goes.

It is complicated you see.. because Shayon is in his ' I am not in a socialising mood... don't feel like talking or anything...' thus- My phone calls are ignored mostly... its only on loads and loads of persuasion that he talks to me- JUST as a mere formality. Not that he doesn't admit, he does as a matter of fact apologises for this 'phase' of his and yeah.. that is about it. I have no idea where am I headed.... The only thing that I wonder is- That ok, fine, you have mood swings... I do too... you don't want me to interfere that is also fair... but I truly hope that you realise the hurt that you cause me... everytime you talk to me with that Fake smile and ' I am ok' attitude. (I know this is harsh... But I have to vent it out somewhere).

I am learning to live with this. I hope that I am able to do it.

I have an application form... stuck at ONE point... and NO ONE mind you NOT ONE person there is who has helped me do those write ups.. its a form for a job in one of the world's biggest law firms... I don't want it to get rejected... But alas- Be it Shayon or My dad... they simply file it away for 'later' and then... when the deadline will be close as hell... I will get a scolding... Waah- Life ho toh aisi...!!!

Ah- My dad and one Advocate friend of theirs are on their way to start a project... I will hopefully get the permission to tell the details later- But that is the only piece of professional work that I have, RESEARCH.

And- Today- I got slapped with a fine of Rs. 200 as the overdue charge for the Liberary books. I am officially bankrupt- I have twenty rupees in my wallet and that is about it. The last saved money that I had, I spent it on a Movie and lunch with my Best friend. Dad had outright refused to gimme money... I have no balance in my phone.. (waise bhi kaun mujhe phone karta hai... or that I call) I have no money AT all.

I have a stupid dance show... in which I am just dancing... and there is nothing special about it.

My personal life is a mess.. my professional life looks like its fall into pieces... and just when I thought that I am going to be strong and make sure that I am not going to loose it all- I am loosing it... COMPLETELY.

There is nothing to really look forward to... each day goes off like any other day... I have no schedule... I have tried... but doesn't work out somehow... Dad takes off to the office... My younger sister has her stupid group... who keep on calling the whole day and with the new found freedom thanks to her phone, she is on and on, my Mom is just cleaning.. she is hyper about it... and its irritating.. she doesn't care if I am still sleeping.. she would start off clean this.. clean that...!!!

And if nothing else, my grandmother likes to taunt me the whole day- Oh! so you are awake... Oh, you decided to take a bath...

Its just getting on my nerve and I have no ESCAPE whatsoever...

UGHHHHH!!!

And when I say I am tired of all this- Shayon takes it otherwise... and in my irritated version I shout at most of the family members... I have stopped liking to do anything... I am going in a very wrong phase... I hate it and I cannot find a way out this labyrinth that is building around me...

Theory on Weddings...

Uncle J has given this really beautiful guide to a Happy Married Life.. and rightly so, he is after all the most experienced... (No offence..please)

I was wanting to reply back to his post but instead thought of sharing this funny lil quote on a Theory of marriage with you all, for me as of now- it pretty much sums it all up. But that does not mean, I do not believe in the institution of marriage- I do. And I always will...

I have a theory on Marriage... When two people are in a relationship for along time they come to a pointh when they do not have anything to talk about. And it is at this point that they decide to get married and thus have something to talk about all their lives.

- From the movie- Four Weddings & a Funeral

Ironically it is the lack of 'Good Communication' that breaks down Marriage...