Blah Life... The Maid, The exam and the Anger...

 I agree with Kashvi, that during the exams, stress makes life worse than what it really is. Its almost like the exam stress is visible because of that huge fat pimple that refuse to go away even with the best of the creams.

My second exam, that was today went off well. I just hope that, the examiner also agrees with my train of thoughts and gives me great marks.

The weekend though was not something that was happy... it was actually a terrible weekend... and thus the post. 

First The maid woes- My maid left on Sunday. And we are already counting the days till her return. Cooking is what really bears the brunt of no maid. And tempers tend to flare more than required. Because nobody really cooks in my house... and, even though my Grandmom with all her wisdom etc is the bestest grandmom... her cooking of certain things and everyday cooking are way apart... Add to that her fav vegetables... and I will not have food till those veggies are out of sight.

Friday was a blablah day. I made a HUGE fool of myself in front of my first crush... I mean I was actually hyperventilating... almost like I was back to my early teenage years yearning for his attention... 

a bit of conversation went like this- 

We were all sitting in our club... (He happens to be family friend's son, Mumbai was being taken for a ride by Delhi, and He being a HUGE sachin fan was in a grim mood...it was almost time for them to leave when I tell to his mom..)

Me: Aunty, your Italian dinner is due... when do we do it?

Aunty: *angelic expression +a smile on her face*

Uncle: Beta, why don't we do one thing... you tell your aunty what all you need and you come to 

            our house and cook...

Me: Uncle are you scared that I will cook badly...?

Uncle: No, beta... its just that we all will help you cook... and it will be a fun thing to do... 

Crush: I am pre- warning you, I can do nothing...when it comes to cooking, the best I can do is 

             bread-butter or bread jam...

Me: Yeah yeah... thanks but no thanks...

Uncle: Why do you have to worry... He (My crush) is a big MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig) and I                      know how to get him to work...

Me: *Appalled* laughing my head off* Sorry crush... I did not mean to instigate that kind of a                  response from  your dad...

Can any one imagine... my embarrassment...

Well, that was Friday... and well... I moved on...

But Saturday... and a Conversation with Shayon... made me realise that, I am losing my patience somewhere.. its almost like, My anger has taken over my sense of being practical...but, is that so??

I mean- not only Shayon, the next morning.. on a lil trigger, I went ballistic on Arushi also... giving her a lecture on her attitude... and how I am just tired of being butt of all the jokes.

I have become highly sensitive... and I can't even blame PMS for it... because I take all the responsibility of my actions... 

But, really- The questions that I wanted answered from Shayon have not yet been answered... it is almost like... a cold war... I know that I am talking to him... but there is something odd about the way we are talking... and I have everything to do with it...

I know, I was harsh on him for all the things that I said to him. But- the other side of the coin says, that If I do not try and put forward what is bottling up inside... it will come out like a volcanic eruption destroying more than it intended too. I have gone on the 'guilt trip' after having the talk with him...  but, either ways its not helping me...

I am getting a little toooo messed up in my mind... I myself have never seen this 'all too sensitive side' of mine... I am way toooo confused...

And I hate all this even more- Because exams are on... even with a week off in between the papers... it is the exam time...

UGH- I feel.. Funny.