Sunday, July 11, 2010

So its been one week at work. I think I am getting into the flow of things, and well it is pretty decent, because the last time I complained about not having any work, I should have really shut up. Now there is enough to keep me busy and in office late nights.
And ironically, there is more work on saturday than on any other weekday. *yeah*

I am restless. Yeah, right now, I am restless, I am angry, and I am cranky. I wish I could just break down and pull my head apart... tug on my hair... shout and make someone understand that, I try. I do. I do.

Yeah, I can, say that n one understand me. But then I guess, I don't try hard enough.. to make the other person understand.. maybe, I should just give up on everything and go with the flow * seriously Chanz, when I put that comment, I meant it* , not understand, the why, and the what of everything that is happening.
I should gear up to fight.

Fight for what?
I think, my own sanity and thoughts. Destiny, I think... I am tired of fighting that. I am tired of tempting fate, and I am realllllllly tired of making sure that things happen. Does it matter? Yes, it does matter.
Why should I not fight. After all, I should not be complaining and ranting, and give up before a fight. But, do I want to really.
I can't figure out my own thoughts... how the hell should I figure out rest of the world...!!!


Jack said...


Cool down. Everything will fall in it's place soon. You need to keep your composure and calm. Try to think rationally. Concentrate on work. And stop having negative thoughts. You are fine and can handle everything which comes your way.

Take care

Wicked Witch of the West said...

Exactly what Jack says (and I am going to listen to him too...I have had a few mini-meltdowns lately).

Sometimes, too, I think it helps to stop trying to figure out for a while...especially as trying to figure out our own thought, let alone another's can just get so confusing as even the individual themselves can so rarely explain them well in entirety...and we can get into such a spiral of frustration of them. It is definitely worth working towards understanding with another person. But, you have a lot going on at the moment, new job and all. Go easy on yourself, and especially don't put too much pressure on yourself...just trust that things will happen, and it will surprise you with how easy it is once the pressure goes. And, thinking doesn't help too much...not past the first 5 minutes anyway.

Take care, relax, focus on things that are controllable and easy, having faith that the rest will come :)

Sakshi said...

@ Uncle J & WWW
Thanks :)