After deliberating the whole day, whether I should be writing this post or not, I am finally writing it. And it is a rant. So read at your own risk. The risk of the boyfriend getting angry after reading this post is much higher though.
Six and a half years ago, boyfriend and I used to talk on the phone like crazy. Yes, we generated a bill of 30k, in a matter of 20 days, which did not include the amount that we spent on our mobile phones. Then there was this constant urge to talk, to tell each other about every little thing that was happening around us. You know, making each other familiar with our set of surroundings and people.
Cut to present, it has not been even 20 days that the boyfriend has moved to Mumbai, and already, I am feeling the pangs of being left out. From the decision to buy a new television, to his completing one whole year in the present company, to knowing, in general what his day has been like, all the information that I gather is through the social media.
And, despite staying in the same country, with no time difference what so ever, we do not have a common time frame to talk.
Of course, his contention, that I should not push him to call me up, and talk to me, especially because he doesn't feel like doing so, has a lot to contribute in the cause. And, the reason that I have been given is that he has become vary of the long phone calls.
Barring the call last night, where we talked about our knowledge of the Indian Mythology, every time I call him, day or night, his first question is "Is there any thing to talk about?" and I have a usual answer.. that there is nothing ultra important, it is just a call!
Samajhdar ki ishaara hi kaafi hai, and so, I keep down the phone, knowing very well, that he is super busy and that there is no chance that I am going to have a word with him.
And, if you feel that I should call him, only because I have work.. then duhu to you. I am his girlfriend, and sometimes, you just WANT to maybe hear a nice apni si awaaz, because you just happen to miss him. Or maybe, you just want to say I love you to him.. or tell him something totally random.
And, NO, I do not call him at work unless, I have e-mailed him a query and expect a reply ASAP. And, he hardly disturbs me at work, because there is not time.
But when there is time, then, he doesn't feel like talking.
Yes, I am feeling very neglected. I hate the fact that I get to know about your where-abouts from your status updates. Yes, I know that you can't tell me every little thing, we have grown out of it, but, how about telling me something?
How about not fighting with me about the time that you can't make out for me, especially when I coming over, and instead making some time out for me? And, all the time talking to me in that clipped tone won't help.
Your coldness scares me, yes, I shout a lot may be, but at least I am not cold to you!
And, the worst part is, I have no idea what to do. It's like a catch-22 situation, forcing him to talk to me will just make matters worse, and not talking to him normally gets me in this irritable super rant mode!
I have NO idea what to do! :(