The official round up of the YEAR 2012: Part I

And we are back to the end of a very eventful year.
It is unbelievable that 2012 is coming to an end. Do I want this year to end?
I don't think so.
As a matter of fact, if given a chance, I would like to rewind the year, and just stop time right say, in January. But like they say, time waits for none, the year has passed and a new one awaits.

This year was about... Weddings

Photo credit (https://www.facebook.com/ishanphotography)

Trust me, it was just about Weddings (yes in plural). I got married. One of the best friend got married. The other best friend, P, has finally broken her silence at home and told her parents about her intentions to get married to her long time boyfriend.
There were 5 others apart from me in office (Delhi office) and at least two to three others (in Mumbai office) who got married this year.
There were other acquaintances and mostly 50 odd percent of my facebook friend list that got married.
So, if I say that this year was about weddings, it sure was.

Starting January itself, when we (as in the family) had come to attend a cousin's wedding and fix mine up, all we talked about the entire year till I got married (which was the fag end of the year) was clothes, jewelry, decorations, dances and food. Not only for my wedding but also discussed about same for the cousins and the friends weddings.
I have never looked at so many clothes in my entire life. Each dress, saree, suit was looked at with a critical eye, and it was wondered if at all the same could be replicated to suit our needs.
Each weekend was a shopping trip to one market or the other, and if not shopping, then dance practices, and if not either, then there were the trips to tailor or P that were scheduled.

Looking back, I am cherishing each and every day of the preparations and fights and the arguments. I think one of the best lessons that I learnt in all of the hoo hopla was that;

However hard you try, however much time you have in your hands, you are always running around at the last minute trying put the details together.  

For the Fiance

I love this song.. the lyrics are beautiful. Essentially, this song elaborates on the theory of "Love is always Enough".







There is this line in the song that says..
"Pyaar ke sikkon se..mahine kharcha chale..."

You know, I loved this movie too. It was a love story. I had to love it. But, more so, I connected with it. I too yearn us to be one of those couples who die in each other's arms. I think, that would be a life well lived. One with no regrets.
I am not shy of saying, that even though we have been dating well over 7 years, I have just grown to love you more. Never less. Somehow it is hard to imagine the last so many years without you being a part of it. I wonder where I would have been. But then, I stop, because, that is worthless exercise. Life without you is nothing short of incomplete.

So, as we move into the last phase before the biggest day of our lives, I want to dedicate this song to you.. hoping that within the realms of reality of running a married life, we don't forget the innocence of the True Love that we carried within us this far...

I love you!

Anxiety Struck

Here is a tip (which I have repeated often) and I am repeating again... 

It is mostly fun to plan other people's wedding and when it is time for your own, be smart, take the easy route. Court Marriage. 

Every morning I get up with a confident smile, and repeat the fact, that everything will take shape in due course of time. 

BUT- Every little thing, unnerves me. A phone call about the cards going awry.. or that there are still things that need to be worked out, and are not being worked out.. for any or every reason whatsoever, and wham- I am unnerved. I am anxiety struck. 

It is just amazing. How every little thing- magnifies, because it is related to the wedding. 

Poor Fiance , he is at the receiving end of all my rants and in the end, we have a fight over something stupid. 

The not getting adequate sleep obviously adds fuel to fire. 

Basically- I have no idea why this post is up.  

Somewhere in the 60's

Whilst the 90's were carefree, 80's bought in the panic that I really did not realise would come, considering we had (or so we thought) ample amount of time to get things organized.

And during the 70's, or some part of those days, bf .. oops fiance was here in Delhi. So we had a week full of dinners, and lunches, and loads loads and loads of shopping! In the last so many years, he and I have never shopped in the quantum that we shopped for during the week that he was here.

The clothes seem to be a never ending process. The moment you think that you have things under control, something new manages to pop up. I am still amazed at the fact that I am going to pack up my entire life or the 26 years of it in three bags (large, medium and small) and start a new.

And now that we are in the 60's , I am anxiety ridden. All of a sudden, I feel that we have wasted so much time in making the lists and nothing really has been done.  Obviously, the world, including the Fiance thinks otherwise.
To add to my panic, I have one of the other best friend getting married, and his engagement is happening like in 10 days and I am getting his dance performances prepared, so in between trying to organizing everything for my wedding to helping him out, I think that I have the right to be super stressed.

The office has become an escape. Especially on days when I have no time to breathe at all. There are new girls in office, similar age as mine, and who are amongst other things not fake and are genuine warm souls. One of them is still in her first year of marriage, and trust her to give me all the tips. About everything that matters. From what to talk, to how to behave.. it is very interesting to know about how you change after marriage. Oh, I need to name her.. "MAG". So MAG one day told me, that do whatever, when you come back home the next morning for the "Pag Feras", you will be a grown up. Just like that.
That obviously scares the shit out of me. But, then, eventually, that was to happen.
Any ways, with the amount of "Tips & Tricks" that I have been getting for the wedding and the life thereafter, I can write a book about it. I will definitely blog about it, when I get the time to!

I have to apologise for my intermittent presence on the blogosphere. I really am lacking time. The mandatory birthday post also couldn't be put up.
So I'll just put it here.. Fiance was here for the Birthday. Fiance, BFF, the other Best Friend, Cousins and sister gave me a midnight surprise.. followed by breakfast with the best friend and the cousin; lunch was with the Fiance and dinner with the family. The most memorable part of the birthday was Fiance being around me "officially" :)

So here I am. 26 years. Getting married in 2 months and absolutely lost about the ways of the world.

PS: A 12 year old poet is on blogospehere.. his blog is called SirRhymesAlot. Go have a dekko and leave the budding poet a word or two of encouragement :)

Miss me.. till I post next :D 

On the 99th Day

I want to thank all of you for the wishes.. this day bought with it the experience of being away from the current family.
There was a "Family Kitty", which randomly resumed after 5 odd years.. just like that. So, since in the last 5 years there have additions to the "khandaan", that was- This was supposed to be a huge kitty.. we had the newly wed couple, and the little 6 month old niece of my cousin... and I decided to stay back.

To see, the pangs that I would eventually get, because I know I wont be a part of "All" family events that will happen. Surprisingly, I just had pizza for comforting myself, and kept my thoughts positive. I got to know that the newly weds were there and so was the 6 month old niece.. and normally my parents would.. but no one told me.. that the family was asking about me ... sort of disheartening.. made me wonder, if they did not ask about me, or my parents forgot to mention that it to me.

It is such a confusing time for a girl, to feel excited about the new life, and at the same time, realizing each day that her time with her family and parents is shortened.
Taking each day as it comes.. deciphering the feelings.. that pull me apart.. questions my sanity.. but also teaches me perseverance.. each day. 

As we go from 100 to 99...

Have you ever count down to something that you have been looking forward to?
Have you EVER anticipated the time that elapses.. about how much of that thing.. that day will change your life? And, how!

I wanted to write a long elaborate post... but really, all I have to say is that...
Shayon & I are getting married.
In November. This year.

And, life has been enough of a roller coaster, and in 100 more days, my entire entity of my being will change, and while I look forward to the marriage in the wedding... I am also trying to hold on to each moment with my parents... my family...

Shayon and I need all the blessings that we can to start the newest phase of our lives..

Just saying..

Imagine to always being told that 'This is your father's house' and that you shall have your own when you get married'. You all do know the saying about 'Ladki ka sasural hi uska ghar hota hai'

To pick up your entire life from where you had started it, and to plant yourself not only in a new house with new people but also to new routines and new style of living!

It is ironical that we girls are often subjected to restrictions at the fathers home and then instead of getting apnapan from the in laws you are presented with a struggle to adjust your life, the one that you have been living for the last 20 (+ or - couple of years depending on the age of marriage) years and like magic 'adjust' 'compromise' and JUST accept the change!

How about for once, the in laws and the husband for once make the adjustments and compromises and go a little out of the way to make the new family member actually a part of the family!!

There are 3 or 4 of you staying in a house as a family, following certain rules and routines and that too for like ever and when you get all worked out about the fact that the new member is flouting those, just imagine the plight of the girl, who is trying to break ground with the new family on the value system that she has been brought up on!
But instead of understanding that, the fights happen!
When you don't know what she has been upto for the last so many years of her life, is she a psychic to know every little detail of the life that you are leading for last million years yourself?

She will make best of the efforts to understand and to mould in the new life that she starts, but that in no way means that she will not require the support, love , understanding and patience from the rest of the family!
Like each one of you, she too is a different person, celebrate a new facet to your family instead of criticizing her and understand the fact that she leaves behind her whole world to make place for herself in yours!

Give her that chance, your love support and understanding instead of telling her all the time that it is her problem that she has left behind her world!

January Update

I am in Mumbai.
Attending yet another wedding! This one is mum's bestest ever friend's daughter's wedding.. and it is almost 2.30 in the morning.. I am tired.
And, all I want to say is, I am gonna catch up with all of you all's posts in a couple of days!
Till then enjoy the novelty of the New Year!

Cheers! 

This Year was about... "Weddings"

Another wedding post.
But this one takes us back into the past.
Since we are reminiscing the year gone by, it cannot be complete without talking about weddings!!!

I mean that was the FIRST big news of the year, on the very first day of the year. Rewinding a little bit more, I remember going to a New Year Party, where I was flirting with some random guy, whose name I do not remember. But I do remember that, it was a big group of gujju couples, and trust me- Gujju women, well, they drink and their men they flirt. Even in front of their wives!
Any ways, so after dancing the whole night and hitting the bed only at 6 am, I managed to miss the big wedding announcement that my brother made.. about getting married to his long time gf!
And, wham, the trend of the year was set.
The entire year, all I did was to hear about a dozen or so people getting married, with a realization, that time has just flown away. That, there was a time, when I was actually looking forward to, and thinking ahead of being a grown up,attending a friend's wedding,my brother's wedding.. all of it was a just a future that was yet to happen.
And when it did, it was weird at first. Then it became the hectic pace, the sole reason for all of planning for the entire year. And the trend continues. In the coming year or two, there would be 'couples'. In a breath, life has taken a leap.
I know, that I am entering the New Year, with loads more cousins getting married. HECK, my cousin is getting married in the first week of January!
So, now you know that there are gonna be loads of posts about weddings and marriages.. as I look forward to the year ahead! :D

Lets talk 'Weddings'!! *A user guide, or well sort of!*

Like Su said in my previous post, this wedding seems to be like a movie! And a movie without a critical analysis, is just another movie that come and goes.

Even though this was a FIVE star wedding at a FIVE star hotel, there were a couple of things that could have been better, and since charity begins at home, I should start with myself.

I should have LOST weight. Like really should have lost weight and I could have done a little better with the outfits. I mean, I am extremely happy about the clothes that I had worn.. but my whole lehnga thing sort of got things a little out of place. The blouse/choli was a disaster.

Here is a little tip for you girls: Whenever you are getting a ‘Choli’ style blouse with cross strings in the back, NEVER get the string fixed. If you have the leverage of tying the strings instead of fixed ones the choli will always fit you better.

So, now that we have that sorted out, let us get back to the wedding.

The fun about destination wedding, rather about weddings is the whole thing about shor-sharaba and the family (ies) getting together. So, if it is a destination wedding, then having the functions away from the place where the wedding is supposed to happen and ferrying people to and fro can be a bit of a problem. The whole fun of the thing goes out, because people are normally hurried into getting ready.

If it is a Punjabi wedding, where you want to have a traditional dholki and the songs, then make sure that your guests are involved and are interested in them. Having an open bar, on a pool side, where the guests are all over the place, and no actual place where you can sit properly around the dholki and jamaao the raunak is a bad idea.

Here is another thing- It may be boring to confine your guests to a five star property, but people, the guests are there to enjoy the wedding and not sight seeing at your expense. Also a Goan wedding is a dream, but having a sangeet function out on the beach where the law bans the loud music after 10.30 pm, is again wasting too much money. In our case, it was not only the venue at the beach, but also the cost of the expensive DJ and special systems for the silent party, which was very enjoyable to the youngsters, but left out a lot of older family who left by 10-10.30. That means, effectively for a wedding that they have come so far for, they just enjoy for 2-2.5 hours, and then because they are no longer a part of the party they have to go back.

In a five star hotel, normally your room tariff includes the buffet breakfast which is on fixed timing and if you expect the guests to attend the morning pooja then you should make sure that they serve late breakfast to the guests, otherwise encourage the other guests to enjoy breakfast and only have the family, really close ones to attend the pooja.

Now, on the day of the wedding, there are a million things that are to be put together for the ceremony, apart from sending the bride to the parlour to get ready and making sure that the groom is not running all over the place. To take upon hand to arrange for lunch outside the hotel- ABSOLUTE NO- NO. Even if you indicate to the guests that the place is 5 minutes walking and that they should take it from there, being a host you are expected to make sure that all your guests eat their lunch.

TIP: On the wedding day, there is a pooja in the morning. Most of the people who sit for the pooja have to sit without eating anything, and after the pooja is done, then they are allowed to eat. So instead of having a breakfast and then a lunch, have a late breakfast *because the pooja starts as early at 8 in the morning and finishes by 10* and most of the guests are just getting ready at that point of time. So a nice heavy late breakfast shall take care of the guests and their hunger till the evening tea, when the sehrabandi happens at the boy side and the bride’s sisters, friends and relatives are too busy getting ready for the welcome and getting ready themselves.

Yes, the baraat is TO dance, and enjoy. But also be considerate about the bride and her family who anxiously wait for the baraat to come. (This one, I must say, we got it JUST right. There was no unnecessary delay on any end) I just HATE the fact when the baraat comes in at 11 or 12 in the night. The guests who come for the wedding just come there and don’t even see or congratulate the bride and the groom. And it is distressing, to wait that long after getting ready. For both the bride in her dress and make up and the groom with his ass on the horse.

 TIP: It is a money saver too!! Get married in the evening, the bride and the groom will be fresh, and not cranky. And they will actually be able to enjoy their pheras and then continue it to a wedding dinner/ reception, where rest of the people who are invited will come to congratulate or eat the food. Basically, the guests will at least have a couple to bless and the couple will atleast enjoy their own wedding!

And very important, Friends are very important, they make our life complete, but in a wedding, close family and family members are more important. So, if the friends have to step back a little and push the family forward it is okay. Your friends will not talk about this or feel bad about it, but if you make your family feel unwanted at what primarily is a family function well, you will have troubles in the family. So instead of the friends giving uptight smiles at your family’s way of doing things, get them involved and because they are friends, you can push them around a little and tell them to follow the lead of the family members.

So after the fun analysis and tips about the wedding and the ancillary functions, here are some pointers about the things that really matter…

•  Cards: Your wedding card will always be special to you. No matter what people say. So, think through not only the card design but also through the colour schemes and more importantly the content. ALWAYS sit down with the card guy and proof read what is going to get printed in your card, bad spellings and grammar turn off even the most expensive card. Also, doing the leafs in the cards is a less costly option, because then you can easily put in the requisite invite for requisite people.
•   Accompanying the Card: Yes, you have the standard mithai and the matthi+ shaker pare box, but there are many more options available. It does not matter whether you want to give traditional or contemporary suff, just make sure that it tastes and looks nice. My bua darling gave some weird chikki with the card in a cute potli. The potli was cute but the chikki, was well cutting corners where you should not.
•  Venue: VERY important. But it should be decided not only on the basis of the cost factor, but also on the number of people who are coming. Sometimes, a big farm house costs you dear because the number of people are very less and the cost of renting a farm huge, then in that case a five star or a banquet is cheaper.
• Food: PLEASE. There is no excuse for bad food. PERIOD.
• Entertainment: Very IMPORTANT. But again plan your entertainment. I personally feel that a DJ is not required at the wedding *NOT if you are getting married in early evening and following it up with a party* Especially if it is the whole raat ki baraat and super late night pheras. Background pipe music lovely, because, the baraat is tired of all the dancing and the ladki walaas are too busy taking care of the guests. The DJ just adds to noise and nothing else. Also, for the other parties make sure that your DJ gets paid for the work and not for just being there, if there is a 10.30 pm limit, make sure that the party kickstarts early.
•  Clothes: Just because something is expensive does not automatically make it super pretty. R & D properly. Start early in the clothes preparation *My personal favorite place for buying value for money wedding outfits for the bride is Chandni Chowk and for the groom Ushnak Mal at South Extension*. Also, dear bride, don’t load up on the sarees. Especially if you are a working professional. You will end up not wearing them. Instead buy the clothes that you will actually use. Same for satiny lacy lingerie.. one or two for the special night are fine. If you are allergic to anything but cotton in lingerie, stick to it.
•  A Good photographer:  The wedding is a life time keepsake of memories of not only of the festivities, but also marks a milestone in your life, wherein you start new journey. Thus, a great photographer is a MUST. There are the usual photographers who click the usual posed photographs, and then there are the new breed of photographers who click beautiful natural pictures and capture the moments that are real. Again, do you research well in this regard. Thanks to FB, you can go do a random search and find some great photographers at a good price. Sincere suggestion: Put aside money for the photographer. Trust me, when the pictures will come, you will know that each penny was worth it.
•  Mehndi: There are brides who don’t care, but if you are like me and love the whole mehndi like a bride thing, then again, go test out. Do NOT go reccos made by other people. Put them on the top of the list of try outs but try the others too. Sometimes the random search helps you get better people at best prices. Also negotiate with them every penny that you are going to pay to them, including the so called ‘shagun’ that they always ask for. There is a tendency that they escalate that, taking advantage of the whole wedding situation. Also, discuss with them in detail the style of the mehndi that they will put on for the rest of the guests and point out the special people, like your mom, sister and whoever is super close to be put special mehndi. That ways there will be lesser chance of things escalating out of hand.
• Parlour: Pre-bridal et all. Very important that you look the best in your wedding and the functions. But instead of torturing your skin with pre-bridal session for like half a year *and spending tons of money on the parlour sittings*, just stick to a proper routine with the products that you have been using and which suit your skin. Drink loads of water, exercise and lessen your alcohol add in some healthy food and sleep well, and VOILA you will be a million dollars without really spending those million dollars! If you plan to experiment with your hair- like getting a new hair-cut then, do it 6 months in advance, so that in case it doesn’t look nice, you will have some time for the hair cut to grow out. And if it turns out to be nice, then you can always get it done again J. Stick to your own parlour and your own lady. She normally knows how you like your eyebrows and how your skin responds better than a new place. Also, big names in bridal make often don’t listen you and end up giving you a horrible look on your big day.    
• Booze: Very important in any party. If you are given an option to get your own booze, get that that with a license and you will again save loads!

Apart from these tit-bits, just remember, that you are getting married, because you want to spend your life with this person and wedding is just a tiny part of the entire life that you are going to spend together. I have seen couples stressed for weeks about the whole wedding. As a matter of fact, when bf and I are in the thinking ahead of time mode we end up quarrelling.  Marriage is a start of a new journey, try and start the same in the happy mode and not in the stressed mode.

Budget it properly, there are excel sheets available on the net that can help you list things down with the costing in easy heads. And communicate about how you want things and try and avoid Chinese whispers! When delegating work,  delegate it to the right people, so that you know it will be done and are not stressing about the whole thing... Enjoy, the preps and the wedding!

I hope I haven’t bored you with this post. Just trying to be helpful. Even though no one asked me to help.

Cheers!!

PS: The day I announce that I am getting married, push me to read this mail all over again! 

Goa Unplugged: The Wedding: Day 3 *The Finale*

Super sorry to give you all the wedding story in bits and pieces but I have been swamped in work!


This is the final leg of the wedding that happened! The analysis will be next!


Now over to the wedding!

Since the wedding was a punjabi wedding, as per the rituals. We had the early morning puja for both the bride and the groom! Separately thank God!

It was the one ritual where my parents being the maternal uncle and aunt played a super important role! And the pandit ji that we had was really awesome! But droned on and on! After we got done with groom's puja and put Haldi, which btw was Vicco Turmeric cream, I helped in the preparations for the bride's puja! 


Much more elaborate fare, because of the chuda and the kaliraas! Had this been an Indian bride, she would've broken down, as this is normally the big realization of the marriage in the wedding! But our bride was American ( with an American family) and all of em looked confused! The highlight of the puja was me the dear getting all the blessings from the bride to be the next one (bride) *I am telling you, the entire family is obsessed with my marriage*! She even shook her kaliraas on top if my head, twice *First time she did it, none fell, and then masi ji told her, we did not see you do it on Sakshi, once more please!!*! And finally, one did break on me! So good luck! To me!
And because we were all into this puja, I could not have breakfast! Just had a bite here and there! 


And then because there was a good gap of four odd hours between the puja and the next evening events, instead of trying to grab a bite, I just got into the pool with my cousins... :) 


And after the dip in the pool, we had to start getting ready for the baraat and sehrabandi *Time was  of the essence, but we still managed to not to get things started in time!! :P*
And ready we did get! All of us in sarees! And, barring my father, no one particularly said nice things to me after I got ready! He was the only one, who was like, wow, you are looking stunning, rest of them were very uncomfortable owing to the fact that I was in a saree and looked twenty five instead of 18! I think I looked very pretty!
And then there was the dhol and the baraat! And I din care a damn! 
Okay, so we got thru seharaabandi  *You know manage get his pagdi on, the sehra, which my Bua and I had picked so lovingly from Chandni chowk along with the kalgi, then there was the sarbala, my nephew, who got so confused and cranky through all of this!!* But my brother looked really handsome and *touch wood to that* Oh, and the dhol guys, they tied pagdi's for the baraatis.. which was very awesome for the americans... and then finally we got my brother on to the ghodi! 
Realized that the chane ki daal we had carried all the way from Delhi was useless as we had not soaked it! Made the horse eat some sugar and tied the waange and got the baraat rolling!

Now, I have seen my fair share of baraats but this one was different! We had dhols with a live dj playing in jeep right at the front! And then there were us dancing to some weird rendition of snoop dogg with the live dhol mix! And on top if it, barring us, the Indian cousins and kids every one including the groom had a beer in their hands! And there was the elder brother, who was carrying, a big bottle of grey goose and giving us shots! And then there was champagne too, yes in the baraat!

Finally, we made it to the mandap, got the bride's brother to get my brother down, do the milni!

Now, The mandap- was beautiful! Simple and classy decorations! The ceremony  was in the hotel lawn and the madap, had in the background numerous candles and lanterns! With glass hangings reflecting their light! 


There was proper seating and yes, we were ALL required to be seated during the ceremony! And we all did! Since, for the obvious reasons- there was nothing else to do! And mind you, only thing being served during the ceremony was water, and nothing else!
The ceremony also had a Goam twist, these priests who were there, they did a mix of konkani, punjabi and vedic wedding, I think. But it was really cool.*If the whole budget thing would not have been a constrained, I might have considered getting them for my wedding..*  So we just sat and waited for the ceremony to get over while listening to classical background music by two sitarists who were there and admiring the decor! And yeah, we had the brides maids and the grooms men also, they came in before the bride walked in just like you have it in Christian weddings!! 
Being the sisters of the groom, Sister, another cousin and I did the gath-bandhan for the couple and also did a little puja there on the mandap!
 
Finally, after the pheras and the pictures, we were ready to grab some drinks and get something to eat!


But, we all had to change for the Cocktails and Reception! My father wore a tuxedo and oh my Gosh- looked super handsome! *That was sorta a dress code, almost every one was wearing a tux but for my dad it was the first time, and trust me when I say handsome, I mean handsome with a BIG H*


The reception was American, inside the Banquet hall of the hotel! We had our tables assigned to us with our name cards!*Even though we were right in front our table was Number 10* There were the speeches, which were good but which were also a let down! (will tell you why in the analysis)  and since this wedding was just about surprises, the one for the reception was the Flash Mob dance!  Which went well, except..that the cake cutting and champagne were forgotten! *there was another thing about me not being able to get my other cousins involved in it, because they were sitting on a different table!!*
I got drunk that night coz there was nothing that I had to do! So all I to do was to get my drinks and have a lil food! And crashed, in my bed!
My parents were wary of drunk people around me and sister!So they came back after changing to get us from the party!   And honestly, I was glad that finally, the year long project came to an end!

The pictures, ( I hope)  you can see here!

And the analysis shall come soon! I mean, it was a big budget wedding and there are things that could've been done differently! And who knows, my analysis may help some one :)
Cheers till then!

Goa Unplugged: The Wedding: Day 2

So after a serious discussion about 'What really makes a marriage work' and well of course giving you all a preview about the wedding that happened in Goa.. it is only fair that I narrate the rest of the story as well!!

So the second day that we were in Goa, was the day when the guests had to arrive and the mehndi was to begin. I was rudely woken up early in the morning by my father, insisting that we have breakfast asap since the hotel will close the breakfast soon.
And plus we were supposed to shift to the hotel 'Alila Diva', where the wedding festivities were to take place. So, after having breakfast, the bags were quickly re packed and casual but nice clothes were worn for the running around. And trust me, run around I did!
The hotel, Alila Diva has a 'Diva Wing', which was totally secluded from the rest of the hotel, and that wing was given to us. The best part of the wing was- That, we had a lovely swimming pool all to ourselves, along with a 24x7 coffee shop and nice comfy rooms for all those who were staying in that wing.
The worst part being- That so many of the guests were staying in the main wing of the hotel, and me the great was co-ordinating everything. So, after running around for like, just 45 odd minutes, I felt like I had not taken a bath in like two days. Such was the humidity levels there!
So I went around to our guests' room with a 'Welcome Bag' making sure that our guests are fine, and that, they know what the exact time of the various events are and also where they should be coming for the events!!
After, making sure that the guests are taken care of, I made my dear sister get ready and go down, so that she can get the mehndi done.
The women doing the mehndi had already come, and there were loads who wanted to get the mehndi done first so that they are able to enjoy the festivities..once all the people gathered.
Of course, as soon as the relatives started gathering, and I got ready and came down.. there were only talks about 'Oooh.. Sakshi you are next..' fortunately I was looking super pretty.. and very nice :)
And, the Mehndi function which is primarily for the bride fizzled because the bride to be made a grand entry- super late. She was to be there by 12 noon, instead she came at around 2pm!!
The food on the other hand was very nice. We had 'chaat corner' as the theme for the lunch and it was a huge success!!
Of course we wanted to have a couple of traditional punjabi songs.. we even had a dholki for it. But, because the whole thing was pool side and half of the people were just interested in getting drunk.. it was not as much fun, as it ought to have been.

But the second half of the day/evening, that is the sangeet night- WAS AWESOME!! Of course that is THE night that I was to shine.. and I did. Actually both sister and I did! :)
The thing that we messed up on was our dresses. We were so fixated upon wearing a lehnga, that, it sorta spoiled the fun, because, I was looking really huge, and I had to tie the lehnga so high that, it spoiled the look!!
But, sister and I managed to put up and awesome show! I was to emcee the show with one of Bhaiya's friend, and well, that poor guy got to speak only once.. and then.. it was only me who took over the mike.. *ironically, the name of bhaiya's friend was ''Mike'' ;P*
My bua and Uncle's dance was a super hit.. and they still can't get over the fact that I was able to get two of their friends, my mom and chachi to dance together ... and then there was sister and me! We dazzled the dance floor.. and that is what the reviews are :)
We had worked so hard for this!!

This is the ONLY good picture of me at the Sangeet

Oh, and my 3.5 yrs old niece did an amazing performance.. she was so so so cute on the stage!! And then there was the performance by the 'Mumbai Clan', meaning the other brother, his wife, and their friends! They mixed three songs...
The best part being, that the songs the Mumbai Clan chose were especially for my brother.. and the ones that we the 'Delhi Waalas' had chosen, were for the bride to be!
And this was when there was absolutely no sitting and deciding about the songs happening between Delhi and Mumbai.

The Sangeet btw was at a beach side shack called Zeebop.. and it was a beautiful setting and all except that Goa, despite being a party place has a law against loud music being played in open places after 10.30 pm! Yup, that spoils the party big time.
So, party buffs came up with the idea of a Silent Party, wherein each one is given a wireless headset and the DJ plays the music and everyone can dance on it!! And we had 3 DJ's playing the music for us. We had a guy playing Hip-Hop, one playing R & B and one playing bollywood! :)
And that means that we had three channels on our headsets.. and each channel was a different colour.. so you could actually see what the other guy was listening to. And, yes in case you are wondering, it did look like a lot of loony people swaying like drunkards to no music!

But, trust me, it was one hell of a sangeet night, which I know, no one in my family will forget for a loooong looong time to come!!!

Btw- You can check the mehndi and sangeet pictures here.. I have been told that I look terrible.. a.k.a SUPER fat. So please refrain from commenting on those terms! :) Enjoy!


PS updated to Add: I had no idea about the code thingy, I have linked you all now to a FB album. I hope you like it. Thanks. 

What makes a marriage work??

Loads of my older cousins got married in the last five odd years, and every time a wedding would happen for all the obvious reasons, the topic would turn to the ones who are next in line. 

Of course I was teased, and there was leg pulling all the time, but every one knew that I still have time, considering the fact that I was still in college.

Now, amongst all the cousins, there are a set of cousins who we meet ONLY at weddings. And that is one reason why we are not close to them. Be assured, though we have heard enough stories about them. Because these two distant cousin sisters are very bright and intelligent young ladies.. you know the always on the the top sorts!

The older of these two is getting married too, next year. *I hope that it does not clash with the n number of other weddings that we have!!* And, her parents had been looking for a match for her for almost 3 years now!! And I remember when her parents started looking out for a match for her, a shout out was given to all the relatives including us, lest we have some one in mind for their highly qualified daughter.

And one of the first questions that my mum asked at that time was 'What is the kind of family that they are looking for??'

And that became a debate, because my cousin bua who had touched the topic here, told my mom that they are looking for a family of their own status.. and my mother retorted mind you stating that they should get her married off in a family richer than what her parents are... 

Now, I know that love does not feed hungry mouths, but, what exactly is the definition of financial security that the parents of a girl expect?? If the boy has a job and gets home a salary at the end of each month.. then isn't that enough?

Again, enough has loads of definitions.

I also understand that the parents want only the best for their children.. but the parents in case of the arranged marriage trust their choice and in case of a love marriage trust the choice of their children. The world has changed, and so have the needs. We do not live in times where lives were simpler.. as a matter of fact, we are living in a time, where petrol is costlier than beer, and inflation is at all time high.. but can having all the money in the world fill the void of being lonely.. or will a marriage work solely because there is financial security??

Tell me, my lovely readers.. if you were to marry your daughter.. what is it that you will look for in the groom that you would choose for her.. and in case the groom is of her own choice.. what are tick offs?? 

My grand father had devised an A to F formula.. which is one way of looking at things...it goes something like this.. *Modifying it a little bit, coz his original was only for the selection of a girl.. I am gonna try and fit both the genders!!*

A- Age

B- Beauty/ Brains

C- Character

D- Dowry 

E- Education

F- Family

******************************************

PS: The next installment of the Goa Post is coming soon :) 

 

Goa Unplugged: The Wedding: Day 1

Yes, I am going to bore you all with all the details of the wedding, thus dividing the whole thing into days and events. I am a sucker for details.. but you are more than welcome to not to read the details. :D

So we landed in Goa, one day prior to the official start of the wedding festivities, after all we were part hosts.. And it was a mess to just get to the airport. There were 6 of us going from my house and two other who were reaching the airport from their house.
For 6 of us, we were carrying NINE bags. It is not funny. Trust me! Because these nine bags were just the check in luggage, there were the hand baggage that each of us was carrying too.. and for the two grand mothers that were travelling with us, well, I was lugging their hand bags along with mine. So, basically I was looking like a coolie.


IMPORTANT lesson, in case you are travelling with loads of people in an early morning flight, either eat breakfast, or keep your mouth shut. Because, we were so flustered about making sure that everything that we would need is there and is packed properly, we did not bother to eat at all. For some weird reason, I was very calm and composed but my usually calm and composed father was totally cranky and that gets us scary.
So a cranky lot of 6 of us reaches the airport, manage to check in and despite the our luggage allowance being 120 kgs, still manage to be overweight and thus end up carrying another handbag!!

All this while my father is super cranky and super grumpy. Thanks to the new food court at the airport, the moment my father gets his morning breakfast he is back to being his normal calm and jolly self, and finally the eight of us *two others have also joined us by this time* board the flight, and Dad blasts off again.. because, both sister and I wanted window seats.. and in all that confusion.. we all end up sitting separately! *Mom and dad sat together, both grand moms sat together and two others sat together and sister and I were on totally different seats* and because it was a flight to Goa, there were foreigners and there were weirdos.. esp the one sitting next to me! I think his girl was coming from else where to Goa and he was sweet talking to her all the while till take off! And then, as soon as the phones were allowed to be used again after landing he was talking to her.. and he had a weird hairstyle and was too much of an metro-sexual male for my comfort zone.. and yes he had a super fake accent.. and jumped between fake accent english to bengali.. like a jumping bean...
So any ways we landed in Goa, reached our hotel.. Martin's Comfort, a simple hotel for the night before we moved to the hotel where the wedding was! And after lunch... I went with my bua to the Wedding hotel, coz, the Bride, the groom, and my other brother with his family were staying there only. Plus, the Bride was getting her mehndi done a day before the actual mehndi so that she could have fun on the function.

The Dulhan's Mehndi (Designer, not ethnic Indian)

And, since, I was required to do the running around the whole of next day.. I jumped in the Que as well. Bua also got her mehndi done with me that day.

My Mehndi (Can you see the 'S' in it??)

The back of my hand

And, by the time it was evening.. there was enough confusion.. with the decorators not getting the decorations ready for next day, and last minute up downs!


The Sour part of the day was the Dinner. My sister and I were told, that every one including my brothers and their friends and all of us will have dinner at the same place.. a shack called 'The Pentagon'. It had a live band, and lovely food. The rude shock.. that the youngsters were at another place 100 mtrs away and sister and I were stuck with Parents, Bua and Uncle, Grandmoms and my other bhabi's mom! Because we were not told about the change in plans or invited at the shack.. I decided I wont go. Sister felt bad too! Esp since the groom a.k.a my brother and the other Cousin 'A' came to say 'Hi' to us, and did not invite us!

We did end up going to their party later on.. to catch on some drinks, because my darling chachu dropped in for dinner with us! :D
Oh..
Sister had her first 'Kamikaze Shot' ever, that night! :) She has become an adult, officially mind you.. and we all had fun making her do her first ever shots! :)

But, the festivities were yet to start.. and the party had just begun!

I am blue

Post holiday depression setting in!!!
No, don't get worried, it is the lull after the storm.. no more phone calls, no more getting the clothes and the things organized for the wedding... so the silence is weird.
Even though there is another wedding to be planned *I am not a major player here*, the whole wedding in my house thing is over now.
The next wedding in the house thing will be for me. So no point hoping for anything else at all, because there is no one other than me who is left for getting married! ;P

The detailed Goa post, shall come.
I am still sorting the million things that I took along with me and getting the winter wardrobe in place.. it is chilly here!!!

Also, I promise to read and comment all of you all's blogs. I am right here, only a little disoriented!

Wedding Report: Live Coverage: Pre-Wedding-I

Finally, the bags are packed! :D
Well, at least, sister put her foot down and closed all hers and mine. Mom is still going on checking off her mental checklist. And, I am also ticking things off in my mind. This wedding is becoming a very stressful affair.
We leave home inc around 8 odd hours, and I am super jittery, about- What if we forget something.. though we have been very careful about everything.. but one can only be so careful.

It was sister's birthday today. And it being on Diwali did not flatter her that much. She was very pissed that her bf was having trouble coming to meet her.. but in the end he did manage to come.. so she has been the least cranky amongst all the women.

I well, am in a different universe altogether.
I will write more detailed post when I am flying tomorrow! I mean, this is the maddest trip that is gonna be.. and I am already tired.
I hope my polar bear mode kicks in and all the reserve energy kicks in.
We ll have worked very hard for this, and I pray that everything falls in place!
God Bless :)

The Wedding Expert!

It has been more than 10 days since I have posted last! And, first apologies shall be in order!

To my Dear Blog, I love you. You have kept me sane. you have given friends and have shown me a world of genuine people.. I have not forgotten you. I just have been a little lazy. *Which has become the excuse of the year!!!*

Dear Readers,
You have been absolutely amazing! I am right here, I have been commenting of and on, on the posts, nothing, just keeping busy!

And here is why-
*************************************************************************

I had been shouting myself hoarse from January, that, we should get our clothes, and our gifts and everything else in order. Today, we are less than 10 days away from my brother ki shaadi, and I have yet to see, ONE single piece of ANY of the outfits that I intend to wear for wedding.
And now, thanks to the festive season, the market has become, nothing but super crowded.. you can't move
an inch without stepping on to another's feet!

Since, the most exciting thing that is happening in my life is mere brother ki shaadi, the updates are ONLY about the mishaps to the wedding.. my dear male readers, do bear with me..
So, the dancing sessions are ON!
From choreographing dances for my Bua & Uncle, to making their friends and my mom dance, sister and I are just going crazy! I got the songs edited by a professional studio! Yeah, that is the level of commitment that we have for this wedding!
Talking about choreographing, sister and I are working SUPER hard for our dances as well. The only disappointment that I have is, that, it is again just the me and her hogging the stage, none of my cousins are ready to make any time what so ever! But since we are talking about dancing, I think, I can be a lil greedy and hog all the limelight that I want! :P

Add to the dancing the travelling all over Delhi bit, trying to shop, trying to close stuff, help my Bua pack the stuff, and making sure that we don't end up leaving behind anything that is required.

There are lists that are made EVERYDAY! I have NEVER in my life for ANY family wedding been so 'list' oriented!

Had I made so many lists otherwise in my life, I would have been one sorted person!

So, now, I know, how to even to a big budget out station wedding.. seems like, I can start my own wedding planning business- from taking people shopping, to choreographing the dances and entertainment, to finalizing the menus of the food.. I am pretty experienced.. and then there are the after marriage services, like getting the wedding registered.. and God forbid if things don't work out, I'll even offer mediation services along with divorces in worst case scenarios!

Quite a package I tell you! :)

I hope you all are having fun.. in the festivities!
Love you and cheers!!