The Madness is over- Once and for all...

The fest has finally come to an end.
After days and days of practice, frustrations, fights, mis understandings.. and loads of hard work, I feel exhilarated, I feel like I have completed a huge journey by foot, I am THAT tired.

But then, I also realised that- This was the last time that I am going to undergo such varied emotions at the same instant with almost the same people. Every year, I used to swear off the whole thing- but then, like an old addiction, I was pulled back into it.
Every year, the newest concepts conceived as soon the fest got over- and every year, there were exactly the same problem points and still nothing has been rectified till date.
Its almost like, no one in college wants to learn from their mistakes, and no, I am no exception.

For a moment- I wanted things to just freeze- so that, I could pick up that threat of memory and store it-and then, I let it go. Its time to really move on- Make the next move- and above all-
To be finally be able to let go of the madness, and be human again...

Loving, letting go, and crap...

So, it was Valentine's Day yesterday. The day of love. In the little article that I had written yesterday, did anyone notice, that the note which I had written for my sweetheart, I did not wish him a Happy Valentine's day, I just said that I love him.
That is coz, it was our love anniversary yesterday... and that according to me was more important than the day of mush. Now, before you all go awwww, I just wanna tell you all, that, that was it. Nothing much happened. Staying in two different cities there was nothing much that we could have done. I am angry, coz, I did not even get an e-card. (I am bound to be- DUHU)
But, then, I read this by Chanz, and decided, that its high time that I really start to appreciate my ownself. I have am not really proficient in doing that.
So, even though its a little late-
I am promising myself that, I am going to love myself, for the person I am. Because- I am me, and that is WHAT matters. If I love myself, I am hoping that I will get loved back, and without a heart break too, and the usual quarrels. Now, wont that just be great.
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There are so many people that come in our lives. They touch us, they teach us, and they give us great memories to live with. That is what life is all about.
But what happens, if you do end up wanting to keep one of those such persons to yourself, for life...? Are you fighting your destiny then?
Or are you just being selfish so that you can actually be happy with your own life... do you think that it may be unfair to the person who you want to keep yourself...
It maybe the hardest thing in the world to let go...
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So, my dance instructor R, is going to have the shock of his life on Wednesday. Well, the current batch that I shifted to after promotions was his batch in the previous month. But in February, things got reshuffled and he was given a different batch. Today, our studio manager approached me and my friend (both of us have been recently promoted) requesting us to change batches because the current one is overflowing. So, we just could not say no. And, then we get to know, that we are back with R. Poor him, the more he tries to leave me behind the more we are thrown to him.
Is it fate?
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I had my debate today in the college fest- It was awesome.

This is it- I guess, yeah... see you guys later...

Next step is?

My practical exam got over today and I practically got strangled by the external examiner. When I came out of the room, my face was all drawn, and till I got my diet coke and some french fries, I was at my lowest best.

We were all to wear our uniforms- i.e Black pants & white shirt. Being winters, a court was preferred over sweater. I gave an extra touch and added a neck tie. And I was looking really nice... or so I thought)

Next- Sakshi Chopra

Me :Good morning sir.

Buddha Ass (BA) : (looks at my admit, and then looks at me, does that twice.. or maybe more)

Me: (with a small smile) Sir, its me only.

BA: Aapko pata nahin hai ki kis tarah ki photo khichwaate hain(referring it to my perfectly normal passport size photograph- it just had a lil smile and lil lip gloss- and I was totally not looking constipated) you are a professional and not a fashion model.

Me: (totally flabbergasted by now- just nodded)

BA: So what is this? (Picking up my file)

Me: Sir, its my moot court file.

BA: How many cases ?

Me: 3

BA: Did you do less cases then what you were told?

Me: (totally appalled, I am the GOOD student) No sir, I have done all my the cases that were given to me by our HOD.

BA: Did you read your syllabus?

Me: (Thinking- He has totally lost it) Y..yes Sir.

BA: then how many cases are prescribed in it?

Me: (trying to act intelligent) If I am not mistaken 3 only.

BA: Are you sure?

Me: (looking at my palms, thinking hard, and blinking my eyes hard)

BA: What is this drama, you are not allowed to give any expressions. No blinking of eyes or taking out of your tongue.

Me: (by now I am totally sweating in such harsh winters) Yes, sir.

BA: Ok, what do these cases deal with?

Me: Sir, with constitution, Murder i.e criminal and Divorce matter.

BA: What constitution?

Me: sir basically....

BA: Under what article?

Me: (fumbling like a crazy MAD woman) section... oh no Article 29.

BA: really?what have you filed.. a writ?

Me: Yes, sir its a writ petition.

BA: What then?

Me: Under article 32.

BA: acha- article 32 is writs for public interest filed in the supreme court.

Me: yes sir this case is filed in the supreme court.

BA: Have you ever heard of a PIL?

Me: yes sir....

BA: Gupta ji (our HOD, sitting on the table alongside...)inhone PIL kar liya hai...

Me: sir its in the 10th semester

BA: Oh 10th semester....

BA: ohkay tell me the fect of the case.

Me: Sir EFFECT? (yeah that is what I heard)

BA: (Now opening his mouth) FACT of the case..

Me: Sir, society of charwaks...

BA: (again cutting me off) what society, is it a registered society.. a legal society what

Me: Yes, society of charwaks was a registered society.

BA: WAS? A society once registered is always registered, what was.

Me: HUH?

BA: Okay go.

And he threw the file. The ass, did not even open the files that I had made with so much of love care and affection. And when I came out- The other faculty assured me that I will get good marks. But, that feel good factor was not there at all. I felt totally low. He broke me up really nice.

This semester was not particularly all gung ho, though I gave whatever I had. And, I really hope that my percentage doesn't fall off like a broken apple. God, please- Min marks- have to be 300. Second last semester, just let me through minus hiccups. Please.

And now, officially starts the last sem of college. Last few months of college life and then some big decisions have to be made. Some life altering things that are gonna happen.

I am not dreading them, the inevitable was bound to happen. Just mentally preparing myself for it.

The very first thing that is coming up is- My college fest. Its a TOTAL drama, with high emotions and huge ego clashes. A classmate of mine and I, had one on last years' fest and have not spoken to each other since then.

I have to choreograph-

A group dance, a fashion show and my solo performance. Add to that the intellectual stuff of presentations, debate etc, and I am a mad house. I am perfectly sane all around the year and then two weeks before the fest and 5 days of THE fest, and I am insanity personified outside the asylum.

BTW- Suggestions for concept of the Fashion Show and songs for my solo dance performance (Bollywood number with classical beats... the mere dholna types) are MORE than welcome.

And the next thing, maybe the MOST important thing is The Cover Letter. The one that is sitting in my documents is a disaster. I know it. And,I can't seem to come with a bright bulb on my head about how to improve it. :(

I am already getting a feeling about this...not the Black eyed peas one.

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On the very personal front- Thanks to google chrome, my dad came across Shayon's Blog and the post on it. I saw it just in time to close that tab for him telling him not read our blogs. (Not a great move) But today doesn't seem to be my day at all.

Wassup....

Hmmm, its the first day of the Board Month... and My younger sister Arushi just hugged me telling me that she is shit scared of her 10th grade boards. So all my readers... please pray that she fares well in her first ever Boards.

The Great College fest is finally over.

I know for sure that the 'usual' group in college is pretty much in tatters. I am not in talking terms with atleast one of the persons. So much so, that I am actually cold to him and I am not even feeling bad about it. No, I dunno if I'll talk to him ever again... thus making it very difficult for the others to choose sides...!!! And since I am always the Miss goody two shoes... I am going to make the choices easier for the others and tell them to just have fun and just chill.

Though I am tired of being the 'always understanding' type...!!!

Anyways- The month of march is always pretty exciting... there are the exams... and seeing the buzz and the excitement of the school kids always reminds me of the same feeling of euphoria, when final exams happened.... the mixed feeling of the year end results and the beginning of the new class, was always so so great. 31st March was an event in itself... what with the new books and notebook covers all happening.... 

On the love front... Shayon is going out of station next week... :( and unlike Chandu, I don't have the cure.... (SIGH).... But yeah, He has promised me that he is gonna try and woo me into going out on a date with him on Saturday... a day before he leaves. I hope he does some efforts.

There is nothing interesting happening at all. The fest was so ugly that there are no details that I really want to mention or remember. The good thing was- That- I stood second in my Batch for the previous academic year, Stood first in the Debate competition and got a special prize for Solo Dance in the fest.

Life is going on Usual. Till next time- Cheers...

Making mountain out of molehills...

There was always so much said and done about the physical distance in  a relationship...that I completely forgot that it is so much harder to maintain a relationship when you are in the same city.

I know that I am over reacting. But, I have recently thrown away all my sensibilities in the filthy waters of the Yamuna River. (I took up the FEST JOB...remember?)

But, I just can't help it. I want to spend time with Shayon. But, He has so much of work that we have not really talked in like 3-4 days. There was a time when I was getting a recharge done everyday to call STD. And it has been like God knows... how many days... that I have not used a single Bonus Minute for talking to Shayon.

(The bonus minutes are for 10pm to 8 am usage, and that is the time when we are to talk.... but...)

I have my fest... he has his office... the he has his events on the weekends.... and I have the 'family time' ... ok not that I am not at mistake..... I know, I should try really hard so that I can spend more time with me... but staying with your parents who don't approve of a lot of things.. makes it really hard.

And, when we can spend time together... it means that I can't do anything... can't make plans for going out... or any other socialising... at times it makes me feel that He just doesn't want to make time for things that are important to me. Ofcourse not always... but when it is really important...

But- I can't believe my self.... instead of getting angry... (I do get angry... and then...) I call up... plead... literally plead....

Oh... Man... I am a mess... sorry for this post... Life Sucks...

Hmmm... oh.. Hi

Hi...!!!

I am basically very angry at the world.

Especially me.

I have no idea what I have gotten myself into.

Being the coordinator for the college fest is no joke.

I realised that.

BUT- What I din really realise was that people will have start having problems with me, if I ask them...rather beg them to participate... and give reasons like... Sakshi goes to all those nice internships... and when we try to intern...she calls us for the fest. This is the crappiest thing that I have heard...EVER.

I am just dancing around. Literally. A solo. A group Dance...and if that is not enough there are HUMNGUS events that need to be coordinated. UFF.

If that is not enough... then... Shayon and I have not really talked...for like a week.

And... I so so want to be with him. At the end of the day... all I want to do is just go and hug him. And stay like that. But... thanks to the franking schedules... we are hardly getting to talk.

I dunno...what to do...!!! 

I am MAD. I am SAD... :(

Dancer's BLOCK... oops Choreographers' Block...

Please don't fret...

I thought that I must have really gone crazy to actually think like that...

I mean... anyone can dance right?

especially me... who loves to Dance... anywhere...on any freaking song...

But, its seems that I have lost my touch... :(

After so much of deliberations and lots of work.. I was finally able to get the music... (Basically, I needed to edit the song to fit into the requisite given time). But now, I am just not able to come up with the choreography... and it sucks... like really sucks...

This performance on the stage is dedicated to Shayon,(I am dancing on Mere Dholna, Bhoolbhulaiya) even though he has refused outright to come to the performance.

And yeah... for all who are getting confused... I have the annual college fest in this month... and trust me, it just sucks... its no fun you know being the coordinator and talking to juniors and seniors and then getting the crap about... how they do not like my attitude. 

Even though for the past four years I have been the part and parcel of the fest... this time... I just feel like screaming at all the people who are so irritating.

Lack of enthusiasm by more than 85% of students doesn't help either... they do not participate and they just irritate you.

I guess, I am losing it completely...!!! Help...

My mom screams at me so much, about me having so many guy friends... and that my sister having her group of girlie friends...

I mean, I love to have guys as my friends and all... and I have a BESTEST friend Priyam.

But then there are times that I miss having loads of girl friends.... one of that time was last night. We had gone to a Sangeet ceremony and there the Bride and her friends and all performed for the sangeet ceremony...

And, being the kind of girl who loves to dance and perform on all these functions... (I put up a lil show for my Cousin's Engagement, dad's birthday... ) I was trying to count how many of the 'girl' friends that I have would put up something so nice for my wedding...!!! (Not, that its happening any time soon...!!!)... 

Confession of a Simple Girl... I really would love to have nice performances... not only on the Sangeet Ceremony but also on my wedding reception... I hope that my cousins and my younger sister come up with something... else, I'll be putting up a special performance for my own wedding... all by myself...

That would be SAD...!!! 

But, the silver lining is that my sister dear, may just do something... and ofcourse I am gonna dance...

Before I babble more and more about the dream wedding that I want... I should just simply put an end to this silly post...!!!

Abhivyakati '07

The Fest fever is ON... and in the whole year this is probably the only time that we can actually hear music blasting from almost all the rooms that are in college.

This 5 day event is celebrated more like the annual week of college and since it so happens that our college has Law and Management departments its a competation amongst our departments. This it seems that charges up everybody from our HODs to the entire faculty. They dance on our heads so that we can prepare a dance that can win our department a prize. Tomorrow the madnesss..... begins and it seems that already people are charged up...what with they deciding how to cheer for their departments and what not......

Anyways- I know that this time... I am gonna have fun... and make sure that I win all the competations that I go into....!!!!!!

CHEERS......