Time to put my life in order...!!!

*Questioning to myself*-Is too late in the year to make new year resolutions...?

*Answering back to myself*- Sakshi, I guess, its tooo early to make new year resolutions for next year...

*Rethinking... and contemplating *... what the heck, which rule book says that I can't put my life in order whenever I want.

Yeah, so, I want to make sure that I put my life back in order.

Not that it is not in order.

But, for some reason, this year, there has been a whirlwind around me, and no concrete decisions have been taken at all.

I need to make certain decisions.

I can't think straight about these things. How can I make a decision on them?

So Iam bulleting the confusions and resolutions of my life right here so that I can hopefully think straight and make up my mind...

• There is a family vacation that is coming up in December, and I have to loose weight come what may. The vacation is in Goa, and that is killing me even more- I have to have to look good and not like a fat ass.
• I have decided to run in the 'Great Delhi Run' as a part of the Delhi Half Marathon, so, I have to, no, I need to start training for it.
• I need to start waking up early in the morning.
• I need to need to start studying. I know for sure that, it is the only thing that can keep me sane.
• I have like 5-7 books that I need to read. No, not because its a compulsion but because, I love to read, its something that can keep me away from the distractions that I want to be kept away from.
• I need to stop watching T.V., especially the stupid daily soaps, that irritate the hell out of me, but I still watch them.
• I need to start sleeping on time. I mean i love the late nights, and especially those coy calls and whispered chats with Shayon, but, that just leaves me so much more cranky and lazy and sleepy the next day.
• I need to have more productive days. Even, if they mean just reading. It is much more better than lounging around and doing nothing. I have been lazing around way too much for my own good.
• I need to figure out, what and where I want to be next year at this time. Where, is like decided- I know I want to be in Mumbai next year, after my grads... but then, how am I going to land up there? Where should I apply for a job, so that I can actually get it...
• I need to be more brave about talking about myself, and about my dreams to my parents. They may be the only people in the world who can be the most judgemental towards me, and still have no choice but to accept me. So, might as well start working on the equation..

I still have dreams, which I have to fulfill... I want to go backpacking to Europe, fuck Europe, I know, I have not really seen my own city, I need to get out, and start exploring the city on my own. But I have no idea, if at all it will happen.

But- I do know, that I have backup dreams. Yeah back up dreams... have you ever felt in your life that- 'This is what I want, and if I get just this thing, my life is set' and when you do get that thing, you feel that you are not meant for that thing.. and you see your dreams falling apart? You feel all that you have worked for all your life- the goal that you had set out was not a goal meant for you at all... then what?

I know, then what- Then you have to simply treat that goal as a milestone in the long road ahead, to truly find your goal.

I know this, because- I have been through this. And, its always good to move on.

I just hope that- I am able to follow what I have written.

PS: Oh, yeah- I am a total Dan Brown fan. And his new book- The Lost Symbol is getting released on 15th September. Please- all those who wished that that they wanted to give me a birthday gift and couldn't do so, should try and find me a soft copy of the book. (I could have asked for the hard copy also, but its way to expensive... if anyone is buying it for themselves and then let me borrow that to read- You are more than welcome to that)

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Perfection is never the goal of life, and no, I do not want a perfect life. Perfect life is BORING. No, I do not aim for perfection either, I am just aiming for a life that- I can call mine, and when I look back to it, I can smile and sigh in satisfaction....