Lets' reminensce the Past..

I just got to see the video that Facebook has been making for all its members, capturing the moments on the social media  site.

It said that I joined Facebook back in June 2007, and thereafter it proceeds to pick up snapshots of the last 7 years that I have shared with the world. The joys, the lows, the festivals and my life in general.

As that video progressed, and now that I am writing this post.. it just all hits me. How I usually say that such and such thing was say in 2011, without realizing that 2011 was like 3 years back. Or for that matter, being in school, it is going to be 10 years since the high school has finished. But there are moments that are etched in memories.

It is going to be 9 years. NINE YEARS, since the husband and I have been together (first dating and then being married).. seems like a life time has just gone by and then there are those moments that you want to relive, over and over again.

I can’t help but remember the times when computers were nothing but luxury and the best part of the day used to be going out and playing with the friends. Today, we are enslaved to technology , we have to join the gyms in order to stay fit.

There are many many more milestones that are yet to be achieved, but while we look in the future, revel in the present, let us not forget the past, which has made us into what we are.    

 

The January Round up.. Politics Galore..

Today is the death anniversary of the “Father of the Nation”, a post that does not exist in our Constitution. A person who apparently laid down his life for our country. The one single person who fought with his “Principles” and not with the weapons and ultimately rid our country free from the British, but not from the pseudo briteshers who were left behind by our Country.

Let us face it people, the Gandhi who has been glorified in the history books was nothing more than a politician, who took full advantage of the situations in our Country and in South Africa. He is the reason for our problems.

He fought for the rights of the “Harijans”, but never did he encourage the Harijans to move ahead in life instead he made sure that there is reservation in the Constitution for them, thus creating   cementing the caste lines in our Country and lay down the foundation for the caste based politics to be born. So, whoever fights for Dalits has become a “Gandhi” and “pro-people”, and any one who doesn’t belong to the reserved category doesn’t even have the right to have a politician fight for them forget the assertion thereof.

No one in this Country has ever appreciated true talent (if you count the rigged reality shows, well then that is some) or merit. The government school suck. The private ones are becoming more expensive by the day.  There is no way that a child is getting educated. Literate for the heck of it yes. Educated. NO. A BIG NO.

We have the Kejriwals of today, who have become the Gandhi of today, by fighting the corruption and fighting for the “Aam Aadmi”. It seems, that they see “Nayak” every day at least 2 times, in order to motivate themselves that if Anil Kapoor could clear out corruption in 24 hours, they still have a lot more time. Except, that this is not a movie and that there is Zameen aasmaan ka difference between a 3 hour movie and the real life in which you have to run the state.

With his brand of “Nayak” politics, he is throwing Delhi back into an era when there was no water or electricity in the state. Roads sucked, and in the name of public transport there were the rickety blue line buses.

He promises subsidies, without realizing that the subsidies in one sector would be only be possible if he cuts down his expenditure in various other departments, like infrastructure. THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES DELHI A WORLD CLASS CITY.  But no, he will be his hysterical self, and ruin my Delhi. Promising in a manifesto is one thing, implementation without a practical approach is a suicide mission. In this case, the Delhi-ites who voted for him made sure that they are murdering the city.

I can only hope that the government falls and falls soon.

Which brings me to the national stage where Rahul- Baba, just made a fool of himself by saying “Empowering Women” would make all our problems go away. In that case, I think we might as well lock up all the idiots like him and maybe then roam and breathe a little free.

The coming few months will be a major circus happening when a shift in power will happen. This Kejriwal and his party will steal a share of a pie, and then coalition with them will be like a bitter pill, the kinds you cant swallow or throw out . Anarchy is sure going to rule the roost in the next couple of years in India.

I of course, wanna just leave it behind and go somewhere and start anew. A place where husband and I can get some space for ourselves and get a chance to build our lives on our set of beliefs, but then, what is writ is writ, and miracles and opportunities to cease are few and far. I don’t know where life shall when the year comes to an end, right now, of course, we are playing by the ear, and hoping for the best.

Sugar has grown up and each day she is becoming naughtier. I fall in love with her every day and get mad at her every day. I think it is the BEST thing in the world, to go back home to a doggie that jumps on you, loves you, bites you and is happy to see you back at home.

Office is great. Of course, Ms. PC was the BESTEST boss ever, and no one can match up to her but the current situation is better than the last one. All fingers crossed.

One month gone. The year has already started slipping. And it is time to cease the day. Life will keep on happening side by side.

Dear 2014

Dear 2014,

Hi. Welcome.

When 2013 came to fore, I was mostly bitter and I thought that my life was doomed. But as the year progressed, I realized that it was not that bad.

That there is still hope and finally, I was pleasantly surprised when the year ended on a high. A few tears were shed.. but then I guess, my new year is never complete without a tear or two.

And now you are here.

I don’t want to be apprehensive about you. Actually, with you I want to take the approach of “Crossing the bridge when I reach it”. There is going to be major upheaval in our lives as we move forward. And honestly speaking, I would rather close my eyes and open them on 01^st January 2015.

But like they say, one has to see all, and I guess this is the year when  I will really get to know, whether I would be a bitter person or a better person.

All hope and pray from you is that please please instill a sense of stability in our lives. Help us, mostly me for being happy about the things that come my way. Of course, ideally I would like things to work out the way that I have thought of. But wishes are not apples.

And finally, make us win a jackpot!

Here is to hope & dreams.

Because, that is what this year is going to be all about..!!

Happy New Year…!!!

 

Lots of love,

Me 

The 2013 Closure Report

I think that everytime I write the year end post, it amazes me to no end that the year has ended and on the hindsight, I wonder wow, so much has happened in this year. And I survived.

The emotion does not change.

This year by far has been the MOST difficult year for me, in terms of both personal as well as professional growth. I was trying very hard to juggle between the roles of being a wife, daughter, daughter in law, sister, friend and a mom.  Most often than not, I lost my sanity. And, after a lot of deliberations and considerations, I decided that I need therapy. And, so, I got into counseling.

That has been the most valuable lesson to me in the entire year. That I am a human being and I am VULNERABLE. It is very hard for us as humans, especially for a person like me to accept that there are faults within the being of who you are and that it has to corrected. “Living in denial” probably holds true for me, and I guess one of the biggest achievements for me has been to realize that. Of course, I am working towards a new me but, it is a work in progress.. I am not perfect and I don’t intend to be either.

Another thing that I learnt this year was the impact of a “toxic environment” at work and the fact that it is the people who make the organization. I changed two jobs in this year. I left the law firm. I joined a corporate and now I am finally at a place where they appreciate my work  at work and the fact that it is the people who make the organization. I changed two jobs in this year. I left the law firm. I joined a corporate and now I am finally at a place where they appreciate the fact that people work and have a life outside work and I belong in a team (I have always complained that I don’t have a team that I belong to, and finally I am a part of team in a big organization, not a float resource).

2013 taught me to value money. I am very materialistic to say the least. And, I hate spending on things that one need not spend on. At one point this year, I had two jobs. And I hate to say this but I took up the second one because I wanted more money. It was something that I did like. But really like so much that I had to had to do it. It was being a recruitment consultant in a recruitment firm for their legal clients. Imagine the pinch I felt when I talked to these well placed lawyers younger to me or my age with my kind of experience earning atleast 5 times more than me. I know how much I have cried on those days.  Peace is an emotion I seldom felt during the last year.

I was like a ship. Struck in a big storm, and then losing my way completely.

 

2013 also taught me the value of friends. The best friend got married in all fan fare possible. And even though I reached about 4 days before the actual events began, I was totally engulfed in the preparations that went haywire. It was an experience that I would always cherish.

In Mumbai here, I think I have found a crazy friend, who is like me. Loves to chat and have coffee. Loves her diamonds and knows the art to chill. She was my accidental friend. We met on the Mumbai local. And rest like they say is history. She has helped me keep my preserve my sanity too.

Husband and I have loosely formed a group. And, I have thrown enough parties in this one year to make sure that we remain hooked to meeting each other.

 

2013 has made into a traveller. Husband is of course to be credited for that. We have explored the interiors of Maharashtra, made Goa into familiar holiday spots and realized that we both love to drive and take the trains rather than zip zap zooming in an airplane. Amongst the many resolves this one is gonna be my top priority .. to travel and see the world.. or atleast see the world that is around me.

 

My love for dressing up has increased, and I have come to realize that I need not wait for “occasions” to get ready and/or dressed. Each day is an occasion in itself and that I should look good.

 

2013 revealed to me that husband is going to be a great dad and I am an impatient mum. Sugar, bought what was lacking in our relationship. She bought a sense of being a family to just US!

 

2013 taught me about love. It taught me, how important it is that my husband wakes me up from my sleep just to turn me around so that he can put his arms around me and sleep. Of little things and bigger fights and of loving each other each day and wanting to kill each other each day. Marriage is nothing but a bunch of contradictions.

 

Whilst 2013 is coming to an end I realize that it was a cake walk. It was about eye opening , about love, friendships, and learning to be a family.

2014, I know for sure is going to be a lot more difficult in terms of life and coming to terms with life. All I can hope is that, the patience and the love continues to favour me and that I am able to cope with life as it comes.

 

Happy New Year.. Everyone ...!!!

The wheels of time have changed

On my way back from a long long break to Delhi.. My mind wanders.
I am in a train, so the time for thoughts to come and go is a lot.

So, the purpose of this trip to Delhi was My Best Friends Wedding. Finally, she too is married and right now as I write this, is on her honeymoon in hawaii.

It was a long.. Long wedding. 10 days, with breaks of course.. But 10 days nevertheless. I was running around and I was dancing. In middle of hardly eating anything, dancing away, getting the mehndi done, doing the last minute market  runs, reminiscing my own wedding, crying on her vidai.. The wedding festivities were over. The husband and parents felt neglected through these few days.  Poor husband got bored stiff. Hence, I think.. Now I will just ask him to come for the wedding day function only for any other and further close family weddings. Because I being me have to run around, and him being him was well not really in his place of comfort. 
The wedding was lavish.
Both the BFF and her husband's family are much better off financially than what we are.
We danced, made merry, and then suddenly we realised that it was time for to start a new life.
And then the third bachpan ka dost ki wife spoke, Ah, now all three of you are married. I smiled at the realisation then.
I smile, with melancholy now.

I tried to remember the years that we have been friends for.. Memories.. But we have spent so much of our lives together that there are far too many and too varied.
What I did realise was that.
We have all grown up. Now, we are out of the shadow of our parents, trying to make our relationships with a new family and in a new world.
Times have changed.

All I hope is that our friendship flourishes.

Looking Back.. The Anniversary Week Begins

Last year exactly at this time, I was gearing up for the first of the many functions that were going to begin for my wedding.
Tonight, I am sitting in my room. The Husband is out with his friends. The dog is sleeping and tomorrow is just another Monday.

Sometimes I remark that I had too long a wedding, it almost spanned one month and 3 cities. But at times like today, I feel glad that I had such a long wedding. I at least have more memories to cherish.

So a crazy year has gone by. A year in a different house, as a part of a different family, and slowly realising that you are also a different person altogether.
People say that a lot changes after marriage, I only wished and still hope that I am able to keep alive in me the pre-wedding self, whilst I discover the new grown up and a more mature post wedding self.

Here is a low down on the year of being married:
Whilst the honeymoon trip was good, the honeymoon period did not really last (between Husband and me, we never really had that whole honeymoon period gig, even when we were dating).
When the adults used say that "Shaadi koi khel nahin hai", I guess they said out of loads of experience, because marriage my dear readers is a very serious business with the tag of expectation attached to it.
It is a lot more about a lot of other things than the couple (In India, it is about the families more than the two people who are married to each other).

Also, marriage is a great teacher of and advocates "Letting Go", the anger, pride, ego and at times even things that make you happy.
Marriage teaches you the true meaning of "sharing is caring" and the exact definition of "Compromise".


But, Marriage also teaches you how one person suddenly becomes more important than the rest of the world, and how you strive to make that one person happy.
For a person like me, it also teaches you how to cook, clean, make a bed, and everything that a home maker can do.
Marriage teaches you togetherness and loneliness at the same time.

And above all it teaches you the true meaning of "Love".


Yeah, by now you all must have realised that so far as I am concerned the first year of marriage has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride, and there have been times that I felt like leaving it all behind. But then, something holds you on, something as simple as a fact that the husband usually has to crush me during the night in cuddle when he comes to sleep.

I am still learning and so is the husband. We have taken the added responsibility of the Dog, and suddenly we are also expected to have a baby soon too :P (I tell you the expectations).

But nevertheless, this is just the beginning of our lives together and this is amongst the first few milestones that we would cross together.. Here is to being married and to holding on.

Happy 1st Marriage Anniversary...

Platinum Love: Precious. Rare. Perfect

March, 2010

(phone ringing at 5 am in the morning)

Her (mostly asleep): Hello? What the hell.. is everything okay?

Him: I am at the Bangalore airport and I am taking the next flight out to Delhi.

Her (stammering and now fully awake) : Whhat? Why?

Him: I broke into your mailbox. And I know what you have been upto. I need to talk to you, and we need to figure this out. I’ll see you in a couple of hours. Connaught Place, Barista.

Her (head spinning): (a muted)  Yes.

(7 pm , on the same day, at a road not far from her house, it has started to drizzle a little, a cold rain)

Her: We need to break up.

Him: Fine, let me walk you to your house and give you a last hug at least.

(about 30 mins later)

Him: You are not the same person who I had fallen in love with 5 years back. You have been teasing me that my skills of wooing are rusting, I am going to win you back, and put that smile back on your face.

Her: (looking on; dumbfounded)

Him: And oh, those Anniversary Cards that you had sent me, I will only read them once we are back together. (Walking off)

**********************************************************

When I joined a social networking site (remember “Hi5”) in the year 2004, little did I know that I had just changed my life forever.

I was not a tech freak and I joined just because everyone was, and it  took me a lot of time to understand the workings of that site (trust me, it took me a lot of time to figure facebook too... ) and finally, I managed to join a book discussion group... there I bumped into this guy who had total outrageous fundas (mind you- It was the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown that we were discussing). It was amazing to find amongst the “will you fraandship me” boys, someone who actually had a sense of humour and an intellectual mind set. And after discussing Christianity , hinduism and what not, the proverbial friend request came and which was readily accepted by me.  And then there was not a day that went by when we weren’t talking online, from the walls of our pages, to the DM’s (or what they were at that time) to the chatting platforms; MSN/Yahoo, e-mails and finally the phone.

He is true blood bong. I am the hot headed Punjaban. He thanks to his Dad’s transferable job, has seen most of the country and has studied in 10 different schools. I on the other hand may have seen the country thanks to the love of travel, but was/am a hardcore Delhi ki Kudi. Plus, when we met (virtually), he was in Tatanagar doing his engineering, I on the other hand was gearing up for law school in the NCR region.

Seriously, what were the odds?

In an era where real friends and friendships were hard to come across, this was ‘net friendship’, how long would it last??

So, we are net friends helping each other out in our respective love lives. Decoding the proverbial “What does he/she means”.

After 3 months of hopelessly trying to decode the love signals that were being given by our respective “lovers” in question, whilst talking to each other for hours at a stretch resulted in the inevitable. And we realised that there was more to us than just being “Friends”.

There was one problem though:

We hadn’t seen each other. Oh yeah, pictures were there. But that was the time of low resolution Digital Camera, and lack of privacy settings on the social networking sites, that prevented the real us to come before each other.

But still, the twitching in our heart continued. The seemingly harmless flirtation over the phones and smses kept giving us the heart burnt. And then, finally on 14th February, 2005, we took the plunge. It took me less than 7 hours to say “I love you” to him.

The first 15-20 days we were inseparable, even though we were in two different cities , on an average we talked about 5-7 hours over the phone and then we were emailing and chatting with each other. And when the phone bill came- we were first amused, then shocked and then scared. It was then that we talked mostly through net i.e via email /chatting and ofcourse there were snail mails too and I used to go to a STD booth with 20 rupees with so that we could talk for 5 mins. ( Those were the times of super high  STD rates on cell phones).

The real test however was the “First Meeting”.

It was 8 months later that we met for the first time as a couple. I can still feel that moment like yesterday. The sparks just flew, with the very first handshake (We were too awkward to even hug each other). The chemistry was crackling, and everything was like it was meant to be.

The rest as they say is history.

For the 5 years that I was in Law school , he was doing his engineering for 4 of those. And at the first opportunity that he finally got a.k.a a job, he came to Delhi. [We maintained a 4 year long relationship solely via phones, snail mails, e-mails and a meeting maybe once a year for a weekend]. And thus started the most blissful year in our relationship, of stolen kisses, bunked college classes and dates in real life.

The shocker though came 11 months later, when better opportunity beckoned him to the IT city of Bangalore, and we were back to the square one. But, we were very confident. We had done it for 4 long years, we can pull it off again. Plus, I was just a couple of months away from graduating, and I could obviously start looking for a job in Bangalore.

So after loads of crying, snotting, and being upset and angry over fate and life, I bid adieu to my darling.

Then the over confidence in our ability to maintain a long distance relationship spoiled the party. A self destruct button was hit. And I cheated.

The irony being, that I ended up cheating him with another fellow blogger (Lets call him Mr. X), who I met online. I was no kid, neither was Mr. X.  

How things started to slide downwards, I don’t really remember, but I do remember, the guilt.

It was my own actions, which led to him wooing me back. And woo me back he did. When I broke things up after 5 years of being in a relationship, all I was asked for by him was to still let us be friends.

Even though it was awkward to be friends with your ex, it was probably the best decision that I took that year, and remained friends with my ex. He literally saved my soul. He became a friend all over again, just like we were 5 years ago. Whilst, on one side he was becoming my friend, on the other he started his mission to win me back by showing to me the facade behind the identity of the Mr. X. The lies and the stories that were made to mislead.

The break up lasted for 2 months, and even though we were back together, we were treading cautious grounds. Things were tougher than before. And he was still miles away.

Finally, he decided to move back to Delhi and in  August, 2010 he was back.

***************************************************************************************************

September 4th , 2010 (My Birthday Eve)

Him:  I need some change.

Me: Abhi?

Him: Your Birthday cake is here, and the guy doesn't have change.

Me. Okay. Here you go. (handing over the change)

Him: Come with me na..I’ll get lost.  

[In his defense we were at my Club, and it was the first time that he was visiting the club]

Her: We are at my Birthday party.. I can’t just walk out na.. take someone else na.. Please..

Him : Please..

Me: Grrr.. okay.. lets hurry it up.

[Now the main gate of the club, where the cake guy was waiting was beyond the parking lot. A good 5 minute walk from where we were. We reach the main gate and I scream at the guard for not letting the cake guy get in, scream at the cake guy for not carrying change and pay him off and start walking back.. I am in the front.. trying to navigate the dark parking lot in my heels]

Him: Hey, do you have a problem spending a few minutes away from your precious party and with me instead..

Me: (in a catch 22 situation) .. hmmm no… why? Its just that people will be wondering by now..

Him: arre 5 minutes is all I am asking.

We stop in the middle of the parking lot. Its dark. And I am wondering what is wrong with him. I am praying that I did not end up doing another fuck up.

He asks me to hold the cake for a bit. I set the cake - box in my hand, making sure that it doesn’t slip and avert my eyes for 10 seconds. I look back and he is not in front of me. I look around, and down and see him there, on his knees, with a ring in his hand. Proposing me.

Him: I know that we have been through a lot in the last couple of months. And right now also we are figuring out the nuances of our relationship all over again… But one thing that I know for sure is, that there is no one else who I would want to spend my life with.

Engagement at the Club 

I was proposed in a dark parking lot with my own birthday cake in my hand; after we had been through a break-up, make-up, what the hell is happening to our relationship phase… and the proposal was just how it was supposed to be “PERFECT”.

Today, we are married. And our actual, official engagement function happened in that club only.

He is still my best friend, my confidant, my life, my love .. the most, most precious part of my life, just like Platinum.

Precious. Rare. And perfect.

This is a part of my entry into the "Platinum Day of Love" contest by Indiblogger.