Equality in Inheritance

The Hindu Succession Act, 1956 ("The Succession Act") is a personal law that was enacted in the year 1956 to consolidate the customs and laws around the succession of the property of a Hindu Family, especially in cases where the eldest family member dies without leaving a will.

The family system in India has primarily been a joint family system wherein all the members of the family usually share the wealth of the family. The  pushtaaini property is known as coparcenary property and the same is minded by the "Karta" of the Hindu Family, better knows as the Patriarchal Head of the family. The entire family unit is like a company where the family members are like the board of directors and the eldest patriarch is the Managing Director. For the uninitiated, the company also has a title and can be registered as a HUF e.g: A ABC HUF (meaning a ABC Hindu Undivided Family). This HUF has its own identity and also has its own PAN Card. It can make investments also. And if any thing goes wrong, or some one needs to be implicated it is the Karta of the HUF. And once the Karta dies, the family has a choice to either continue with the HUF or dissolve the same, after each one of them gets their inheritance rights from this HUF. This inheritance of the coparcenary property is governed by the Hindu Succession Act, wherein it states that unless it has been agreed otherwise between the HUF members, the property will be divided as per the schedule that is in the Succession Act. That schedule is quite complicated and I am absolutely not going to say anything about that here.

In the above background here are some facts.
It was in the Hindu Succession Act, 1956, where the rights of the daughter were curtailed, and a daughter would not be considered as a part of the inheritance as per the rules of succession and a married daughter had very little to no right in the coparcenary property. [Trust me this was super complicated, and I made it super easy].

But in the year 2005, this complicated Hindu Succession Act, was uncomplicated and amended to state that the daughters (whether married or not) had an equal right in the coparcenary property of a Hindu Family. Which simply means that if the father dies leaving behind a coparcenary property and he is survived by his widow, one son and one daughter, then each of them will get an equal share in the property. [Please note that here the assumption is that there are no other relatives involved in the same].

This was about the property and the inheritance. However, just by giving the daughter a seat on the board was like having a silent partner, and the patriarchal fabric of the hindu family still existed in the society. There was always a question hanging in the air about the real position of the daughter in her own family.
It is considered that once the daughter has been married she belongs to the other family. One fails to understand why can't the daughters have the privilege of being there for both her families?

Therefore in what can be called as a Landmark Judgment, the Delhi High Court in a matter has finally clarified the Law and has stated that there is no bar on a daughter from being a Karta of the family and if the daughter is eldest in an HUF then she has the right to not only manage the estate of the HUF but also the rituals of the joint family (which means that the daughter has the right to perform all the religious duties that earlier only a son was allowed to do).

This is a superb judgment and a giant leap towards the closing of the gap between the gender inequality.

This changes everything!

I am going to be super cryptic in this post because the news around the change in circumstances is not my own. It is of my BFF, and even though I am superbly happy, I am extremely skeptic, and this news read with how things are in my current relationships is going to do either of the two things.

This is either going to open the can of worms/ remove the carpets on certain issues and we finally get a closure on things or its going to be a certain heart breaking happening in the events. Of course I hope and pray and I will work super hard for the first part to happen.

The year has just started and so much has already happened. All of a sudden, there is going to be things to look forward to, and things not to look forward to.

Lesson learnt. Always think before you ask for anything. 

Demons of the Past

Just because I don't say it, acknowledge it publicly doesn't mean that these demons don't eat me.

My fathers' elder brother died at the age of 48. He died on June 26, 2003. I was just about 16. He was the best bade papa ever. My childhood was mostly spent at his house, because he had a daughter who was my age. She was 5 months younger to me, but we were inseparable, often called as twins. We had the same hair, wore the same clothes, and till we hit puberty, we had similar builts as well. Chubby.

She committed suicide almost 11 months after he died. We were expecting our 12th results at that point in time. I had given an entrance exam on that day and as a matter of fact she was to come and spend the night at our house that night. She did not turn up. She said that she had things to do. From what I have heard, every thing was normal till there was some argument and then she went into her room and hung herself from the fan. But I know that she was depressed. She was inconsolable after her father's death. I was not particularly available during that time. Studies you see.
In case you are wondering, a part of me does blame myself for not being there. For not recognizing the signs and yes even for a death.

I saw her the next morning. Lying in the hospital. In a vegetative state. On a ventilator. I had told my father that day that I was willing to give away my life if that is required to keep her just alive.
She was declared dead a day or two later.

Her birthday is on January 25 and her father's on January 26. She would have turned 29 this year. He would have been 61.

We, me, are still reconciling with the deaths of these two people, which broke us. Broke the family, broke our spirits, and changed everything. You know why?
Because, my darling bade papa just refused to take his medicines. He decided not make the minor changes that were required in order to control his diabetes. Diabetes, like it is widely known cannot be cured. You have to take your medicines, have some control on your diet and include about 30 minutes of walking. But he would not budge.

We told him. We pleaded with him. We cried. We prodded. Even got intervention. But nothing helped. he continued to stubbornly not follow the doctor's orders. And in the end, he suffered for 1.5 months in an ICU undergoing dialysis and left us all, with an empty space that hurts when I see the old pictures, remember the Birthdays, the anniversaries and them missing.

Sleep that refuses to come during those phases. The uneasiness of loss, that has happened, and the one that may happen.
It is the pain that no one will understand, because each one of us has their own memories and pain. My Bua, who his fraternal twin, would never feel whole again (that is a twin thing), my father doesn't have an elder brother to call his own... I lost my own twin, my best friend, my soul mate and the only other person apart from the husband who knew all my secrets. The husband still doesn't know me that much.

All this happened, because one person decided that the rest were all fools.

And then, there is also a phrase, that history does repeat itself, and I see the other half of my soul being ripped away because of the same effortless jaunting.

If my past haunts me, that is because the present is imitating my past. And, this time, I will break, never to recover. 

State of Affairs

The year 2016 has started off in a bad mood (to put it mildly). And, I am not even talking about my personal or professional life (just imagine).

The whole of December, 2015, was taken up by the environmentalists who have very clearly stated that the air that we breathe in Delhi is nothing short of toxic, and that something should be done about it. The reasons given by them is that; apart from the fact that there are pollutants in the air, the absence of air movement and the cold weather has trapped the pollutants at  a level that makes the air noxious to say the least.
While this profound knowledge and the red flags associated with this were being raised the weather continued to be gloomy, and we had the brilliant "Mango Government" (Aam Aadmi Party) come with a brilliant plan: "The odd- even scheme". The scheme simply states that on dates which are even the NCT will allow even numbered cars and vice- versa. The exceptions were single women/ all women cars/ hybrid cars and two wheeler vehicles.
The scheme is now at the fag end, and to be honest, while I just read a headline that almost 3000 cars have been fined in the last 12 days (that too in South Delhi alone), there has been a drastic, drastic reduction in traffic. There are lesser traffic jams, and there are a lot of people who support this scheme in an earnest, and are also petitioning to the government for extending it.
Will it be extended? I doubt.
But, what I really hope is that for their own sakes and for the sake of their progeny, the people have learnt a lesson, and actually make an effort to themselves to curb the traffic menace. One of the suggestions that is doing rounds is to make it compulsory for the MNC's to provide for shared cabs/ small buses. Makes sense. This will reduce the burden on the Metro and on the roads (what a win- win situation).

Another set of discussions and court cases that are making headlines is the ban on the women at the various temples across India. The fun part is that no one, no one is spared in this controversy. From the women (of course), to the media and even the poor lawyers who are fighting this case in the court. Everyone is (in some way or the other) being threatened for championing the rights of women (who apparently are goddesses Durga, Saraswati, Kali, Laxmi etc in the very Hindu Religion). The people continue to berate the non- understanding of the Hindu Religion by the modern human entities and how that modern human entity is influenced by the west. Though, I wonder what kind of Hindu Religion are they talking about because, Hindu- ism is not a religion at all.
Why can't we just be at peace with each other?? Accept each other for the limitations, eccentricities and for the individual person that we are. Why the need of an collective acceptance?

From the refugee crisis, to bomb blasts in the name of a God, is nothing more than a mass murder for whatever reasons that the murderer may have. Human life is a gift of God (or science) and all those who have killed in the name of that very God will hopefully pay for their sins, because Karma is definitely a bitch.

It is the times like these that make me wonder where we all are heading.   

Why, Hello 2016!

As the Clock struck 12, we all went Happy New Year! like we do it for every New Year. Every Year. So many of us join in the revelry to celebrate the end of the year, and to welcome another year with the new hopes of achieving something great.

A new year is like a coveted start. An avenue given to each one of us to leave the old and behold the new.

While, I am still startled by the surreal events of end of 2015, the truth and practicality of 2016 shall soon strike.
There are things that I have been wanting to change, in my self, and around myself. There are things that are still unclear, there seems no path ahead. It is like the Delhi roads on winter nights, where despite the knowledge of the road, you are unsure of when to go ahead and how to go ahead.

It is with this unsteadiness that I welcome the New Year and only hope for the best, for all of you. 

And its a WRAP : Year End Saga IV

I don't think that I'll be writing anytime soon. At least not till the year has turned again. I remember the year before, as December 31 was approaching, my heart was in my throat. We were planning a retirement party. We had just come back from an epic holiday, and while I was not looking forward to the year in general, I was at the back of my head anticipating some adventures.

I made the mistakes of anticipating adventures, and had the biggest one I could have ever imagined. Just as the year drew to a close, we moved to Delhi. I lost my grandmother within days of us moving to Delhi (the family thinks that Dadi was waiting to ensure that I was around, I of course feel that I wish she had helped in raising my kids (whenever that would have been)).
I learnt that despite giving clear instructions, when packers and movers come, you are always in a mess, and it is VERY important to separate the stuff of your landlord from your own.

I am in all honestly not in a celebratory mode. I miss my grandmother, who is gone, but mostly I miss my Husband who despite being around is just not there. So I have nothing really to look forward to in 2016. I am still in a bad job. There is no career movement at all from where I stand, and if things remain the way they are, I'll be thrown out soon as well. Yes, the year is not ending on a high. It is mostly ending on a note that is leaving me with way too much to desire and dreams that seem nothing but a mirage. Nevertheless, patience and perseverance they say pay. Eventually. One can hope.

So here is wishing you all the best in the coming year.

Tentative Steps: Year End Saga III

We are all victims of our own doings. Of the decisions that we take, and the repercussions of those decisions. Honestly, there is no one to blame.

This is one of the major lessons that I have learnt in this year. That there is NO one to blame, but your own self for the decisions that you take.

It was my own decision to not curb on my spending (s) when for two years we were in a house where we had to pay no rent. It would have been an easy (at least 10k a month, which would have translated into a substantial saving over the two years); but, to be really honest, I lost the plot. I do not know where all the money that I earned during the "rent free" period went. I do definitely remember getting a second job to "make the ends meet". Also, sometimes I feel that, some financial decisions could have been taken with more information. Like for example, as I write this, I just remembered that a certain personal loan was taken by the Husband at the time of the wedding, and instead of handing over the cheque of all the monetary gifts that we received during the wedding to the FIL, we could have paid off a part of the Personal Loan (or maybe not/ or we could have just put away that money in a bank account from where the loan money was being paid, so that we could have started out debt free? I don't know, but thinking about it in retrospect is a bad thing- messes with my brain). From each outing (whether its the dinners or outstation travels) to god only knows what, I know that those two years have been lost, and this year, all we did was to make the ends meet.
It is DAMN important to be able to rid yourself of debt crisis, and it weights you down to the extent of drowning. So, yeah, I have learnt the hard-way about the money. About the responsibility of each penny that is being spent.

I have learnt about procrastination. About, how good am I at putting everything off for the next day. I have learnt that I do not have the conviction to do many things. I don't feel the urge. I don't feel the need, and above all I think I have lost the passion to live. When you are trying to just get by life, you lose your willingness to actually strive. I am doing a job that pays. Something. It was my own decision to leave the law firm where I was working and struggle with in house positions, hence messing up with my career. I have become, untouchable in the job market, and when that is the case, you don't have passion, you just live by. One of the primary reasons for my leaving my secure law firm job was the travelling bit, the bit about not being able to give family time, without realizing the fact that I am not the only one who has to focus on the "family" thing. In any case, the Husband has always been more apt in the "family matters". I am neither apt. Nor good enough. Just because.

I have learnt about keeping shut, shoving things under the carpet and to look at bigger pictures. I have learnt about pretending that my eyes have something in it, when I tear up in office (because of something that has gone out of hand because of things that I say or do). I have learnt that I mostly do not make any sense, and that therefore, I am always mostly wrong.

I have learnt that each and every word, each and every action has a reaction, has a consequence. It just pushes you beyond your measure of being. I have learnt that neither anger nor tears help, but putting aside something that you felt was wrong, and always remembering the good over the bad helps in keeping things in semblance. And, I have come to realise that there are some problems that just cannot be solved. Sometimes it is your own self stepping back, letting go and shelving fights that are important to keep things and relationships intact. I have realised, and am learning the art of finding happiness by keeping the rest happy.