Friday, November 21, 2008

The first lowdown and the snailmails.....

I remember that after Shayon and I got together, the circumstances were such that I just couldn't meet and tell Priyam about it. Three days later, when I told her over the phone about us, she jus said one line- 'Sakshi, I Love you'.....
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It was during this time, that private FM stations were sprouting up, and there were numerous love guru's on at the night solving the crisis for one and all. In one of those programs, I had heard that the Honeymoon period of any relationship is one to two years and then its time to face the reality. This happened to us well, very quickly. One evening, Shayon and I were talking on the phone when a second call came. He asked me hold while he took that call. It happened to be from Shayon's Dad's office, who had just recieved the phone bill for a whooping 30k and they refused to pay that. In the next few days we talked lesser on the landline, for a simple reason that the STD was locked. As soon as we realised that we were in trouble, the first person that Shayon confided in was, his mom. I had sent him a lovey-dovey card and his first love letter ever (it was the first letter that I too had written) and well, a pair of my earings. (Yup, he wanted them, dunno why...). So he simply showed her the card and told her about me. She was pretty cool with it... 
But when it came to explaining the phone bill... it was a tough job. Lot of shit and nonsense stories were told but finally the truth came out. (Just imagine what kind of  first impression I made... I get my boyfriend's dad to shell 30k from his pocket...!!!) Though there was no open disapproval but it was pretty apparent that he was not happy about me. Three and a half years back, STD even from cell phones was very expensive. Then the only mode of communication was the internet... it was back to chatting and e-mailing..... but then came another blow, the internet connection was taken off from Shayon's house.... 
Then the only mails that were done back and forth were when he went for his classes to NIIT, and I used to scrounge up 20 rupees a day and go to an STD booth and talk to him for 5 mins... or max 10 mins the day I had a lil more money.

It was then that we reverted to the olden and golden method of communication. The Snail mail. The very first letter that I recieved from him, was very special, he sent me three pictures of his.And it was something that he had writtenin that letter that really put foundation to the strong between us, he had written "Sweetheart lets make our relationship so comfortable that you never hesitate to say what you have to..."   But that was before the phone calls became very limited. 
The letters made the whole experience of being in love even more special.... (I had seen a bunch of letters that my parents had exchanged when they were dating...) these letters became an habit of sorts... they are more intimate...

In the month of May, my parents and younger sister went for my brother's wedding in USA. The trip was for two and a half months... and by Shayon's dad's grace he got net at home and those were the days when we used chat the whole night. (It was during one of these long session that we came up with our special game....wherein we were allowed to ask each other whatever question we wanted and we were not to be judgemental about the answers)

Though the days were always incomplete without hearing his voice... but the long hours of talking to him gave shape to our relationship. 

It was also during this time that I joined an NGO for the drug addict women and homeless women and children. It was a depressing job. As if this was not enough.... things weren't really rosy at Shayon's place....his parents were giving him a lecture on a daily basis which was not really encouraging for our relationship.... 
One purticular night, two three days after my parents had returned, Shayon had this huge fight with his parents, and that night he wrote me, what we today refer to as the break up mail. 
After starting the daily sessions of chatting and emailing in one of the mails I had remarked "that means I can never claim to know you fully??" 
To that Shayon had replied "when I have no qualms about shedding my clothes and exposing my body to you....why should I not share my enotions with you" after that both of us had made an effort to talk without judging.... and therefore that break up mail full of regret and anger had come.... As soon as I read that mail, instead of crying and giving up, I just called him (from my dad's phone my own phone had no balance) and told him that since he is not the only one involved in the relationship he just cant decide break it off, its my decicision too.... and therefore I decided to stay on... and asked him to show the e-mail to his mother. 

That was a bad bad decision... no not because we din break up, coz it was under these circumstances that I first talked to Shayon's mom...!!! That conversation was totally one sided with Shayon's mom trying to tell me that she din really want us to part ways and I going, Hanji aunty... ok aunty, I understand Aunty....As Shayon had mentioned in the email he wrote later- That "he was pacing outside the room, like a to be father with the wife in labour pain" he had also written something about, why I wanted him to show the e-mail to his mom... "You knew right from start how ma was gonna react, na? That's why you had asked me to show the mail to her. While I was censoring the mail, I realised nothing can ever stop me loving you. We might not be able to talk, we might not be able to keep in touch, but we shall always remain in each other's hearts. we shall never stop loving each other."
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Lack of phone calls, no support from anywhere, we were almost doomed... but well, where there is a will there is a way.... My first job and change of stream, coming up next...!!!

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