Quicky...

Here are some quick updates...!!! (The LONGER post is still due..Palease bear..)

• The show was awesome fun. It was a crazy technical reharsals, crazier giving the final perfomance and craziest was the after show effect... when we all went mad in the green room sorts.
• The weekend was great. Guess what? Kashvi came to DELHI...!!! And we MET!!! It was a GREAT saturday. The cherry on the top? Well, Shayon also came and joined us.. that meant an impromptu date for us. It was so cool..!!!
• Sunday was langar organized by us at the local gurudwara, and phew, it was hot and humid. And then, I went Red Spaghetti hunting.
• My internship started today. Very chilled out place..almost feels like a startup. Just three of us in office.
• Rains. FINALLY. Dreamcatcher's threats have finally worked. Or maybe, she did do the rain dance or gave a human sacrifice to the Gods.
• Now, the rains are great. The INSECTS are YUCK.
• And all those who are wondering, why isn't Kashvi updating, well, poor girl's comp crashed. Wish her comp a quick and healthy recovery.

Happy Doctors Day, to all the dear Doctors.

Cheers!!!

I have to write a LONG post...

I have been DAMN lazy. Sorry.

The dance show is tomorrow evening, I am nervous.

There is loads and loads to write about. See you all soon.

Love you!!

Why good looking is so important??

Well, you all do know about the dance class.. and about the show that is going to happen on the 29th??

Oh, I think that you know about my dance class but not about the show.. so The Dance Worx(my dance class) has a summer workshop and at the end of which there is a show. My show is on the 29th of June. And NO I am not excited about it...

I know that I am not a great dancer, but at leat I am much much better than the ones my Instructor is favoring.

The batch is doing 3 songs of almost a minute each. The batch has been divided into two groups, one group is performing on Jai Ho, PCD version and the other on Nelly Furtado feat Timbaland, Give it to me and the Finale i.e the third song is called Shut Up..

I am in the second song, I am standing in the first row, but on the extreme right. The centre stage is a guy, who is a fantastic dancer.. but its the girl standing on his right that is killing me... she is no great dancer... and I am like completely invisible to the eyes of the instructor.

Jai Ho group is looking terrible btw.. and in the finale he puts that group right in front.

All of us in the other group are very upset.

And- take this- the only reason why Mr. Instructor favors certain girls is because they are way good looking... and have that snooty attitude in them.

Hello?

I mean- I am not that bad looking.. but today- I really don't feel like I am beautiful.

If beauty is just skin deep... then why does it become so important to always have that flawless skin.. and be fair and great looking. I say great looking because- all of us are good looking in one way or the other..

I do not wear the spaghetti tops and cross straps bra in the dance class, because- I think that more important than showing off your skin its important to show off your dancing skills... skimpy clothes do not make a person more able to dance.

I am thanking my good senses- that I came to realise, and realise on time that I am dancing for myself.. I know it will help if Mr. Instructor notices me too... but his criteria and level of thinking is way below my expectations. I am disappointed in him.

But- isn't this the way our society is also? Have you really noticed the amount of creams and lotions that are in the market for making your skin visibly fairer??

Intially it was only the women but now- its the metro sexual male also who likes to have a visibly fairer skin.

Even the F&*%*^% ads that are on television just talk about how important is to cultivate a fair and flawless skin. That it is the only; mind you ONLY gateway to success... how discouraging is that? What happened to all that talk about- internal beauty and true talent? My mother keeps on getting me all kinds of creams so that my complexion too can be improved. According to her I was very gora gora till the time I was a kid.. but later thanks to the exposure of the sun etc i have visibly gotten tanned...

It seems after the second class treatment here, I really should take her advice more often.

DISGUSTING...!!!

Where is the EXIT??

I can hardly see a thing...

nothing absolutely nothing is clear to me.

I have been sitting home for a month and I have done exactly nothing productive.

My professional life is anyway always in a mess... and I am not exactly spending my sunsets at the beach as far as my personal life goes.

It is complicated you see.. because Shayon is in his ' I am not in a socialising mood... don't feel like talking or anything...' thus- My phone calls are ignored mostly... its only on loads and loads of persuasion that he talks to me- JUST as a mere formality. Not that he doesn't admit, he does as a matter of fact apologises for this 'phase' of his and yeah.. that is about it. I have no idea where am I headed.... The only thing that I wonder is- That ok, fine, you have mood swings... I do too... you don't want me to interfere that is also fair... but I truly hope that you realise the hurt that you cause me... everytime you talk to me with that Fake smile and ' I am ok' attitude. (I know this is harsh... But I have to vent it out somewhere).

I am learning to live with this. I hope that I am able to do it.

I have an application form... stuck at ONE point... and NO ONE mind you NOT ONE person there is who has helped me do those write ups.. its a form for a job in one of the world's biggest law firms... I don't want it to get rejected... But alas- Be it Shayon or My dad... they simply file it away for 'later' and then... when the deadline will be close as hell... I will get a scolding... Waah- Life ho toh aisi...!!!

Ah- My dad and one Advocate friend of theirs are on their way to start a project... I will hopefully get the permission to tell the details later- But that is the only piece of professional work that I have, RESEARCH.

And- Today- I got slapped with a fine of Rs. 200 as the overdue charge for the Liberary books. I am officially bankrupt- I have twenty rupees in my wallet and that is about it. The last saved money that I had, I spent it on a Movie and lunch with my Best friend. Dad had outright refused to gimme money... I have no balance in my phone.. (waise bhi kaun mujhe phone karta hai... or that I call) I have no money AT all.

I have a stupid dance show... in which I am just dancing... and there is nothing special about it.

My personal life is a mess.. my professional life looks like its fall into pieces... and just when I thought that I am going to be strong and make sure that I am not going to loose it all- I am loosing it... COMPLETELY.

There is nothing to really look forward to... each day goes off like any other day... I have no schedule... I have tried... but doesn't work out somehow... Dad takes off to the office... My younger sister has her stupid group... who keep on calling the whole day and with the new found freedom thanks to her phone, she is on and on, my Mom is just cleaning.. she is hyper about it... and its irritating.. she doesn't care if I am still sleeping.. she would start off clean this.. clean that...!!!

And if nothing else, my grandmother likes to taunt me the whole day- Oh! so you are awake... Oh, you decided to take a bath...

Its just getting on my nerve and I have no ESCAPE whatsoever...

UGHHHHH!!!

And when I say I am tired of all this- Shayon takes it otherwise... and in my irritated version I shout at most of the family members... I have stopped liking to do anything... I am going in a very wrong phase... I hate it and I cannot find a way out this labyrinth that is building around me...

Theory on Weddings...

Uncle J has given this really beautiful guide to a Happy Married Life.. and rightly so, he is after all the most experienced... (No offence..please)

I was wanting to reply back to his post but instead thought of sharing this funny lil quote on a Theory of marriage with you all, for me as of now- it pretty much sums it all up. But that does not mean, I do not believe in the institution of marriage- I do. And I always will...

I have a theory on Marriage... When two people are in a relationship for along time they come to a pointh when they do not have anything to talk about. And it is at this point that they decide to get married and thus have something to talk about all their lives.

- From the movie- Four Weddings & a Funeral

Ironically it is the lack of 'Good Communication' that breaks down Marriage...

What was the last post that I did??

I almost posted this one without any content...!!!

I seriously forgot the last post that I did...shows how much I visit my own page. I am such a freak. Oh, Yeah- it hit me abhi- That it was the post on my dear grandad. BTW- which reminds me- Our Picture got printed in a Tabloid called MAIL TODAY. They also have a e0 newspaper, you can visit their site and see our picture and read the article on Page 9 of today's i.e 14th June 2009's issue. AWESOME na...

And, my younger sister got her new phone number- My father was being like a father worried over her increase in number of classes and her travelling alone to do so...!!! And in the bid of buying a lot of new things... we also purchased a brand new laptop. Its an HP pavillion notebook... very swanky... the best part being that- most of the specifications were demanded by Shayon... because I happen to be technologically handicapped. And dad knows about it...!!! (Thank heavens now I can atleast mention him as my friend minus the raised eyebrows and what not stares.. here is a conversation between me and mum..after I had a talk with Shayon over the phone)

Mum: 'Kiska, phone tha??'

Me: ' Hmmm, woh mera dost hai na Shayon uska'

Mum: (looking at me... like a mum)

Me: ' Actually kal ek bahut sahi party hai, aur usko na parties ke press invites milte hai... so I had asked him to tell me if he does... so usi ke baare men tha...'

Mum: 'Woh hai kahan aajkal?'

Me:' EFY---Ellectronics for You... Publishing house hai..'

Mum:'Woh, Delhi mein hai aajkal?'

Me:' Haan...'

End of Conversation...

So that was kind of weird... and today also while talking about configurations and laptops... I called up Shayon on dad's request so that because of MY insistence we don't end up buying a wrong product with loads of money...!!!

Oh- Yeah- VERY important announcement- HARDROCK CAFE has Opened in DELHI...!!! YIPEE... Ok, I have been to that place in Mumbai and its an awesome party place... loved the ambiance.. and above all, its one place where Shayon can never say no to me...

So basically- a lot of money was spent today... !!!

PS: My maid has returned finally...!!! :)

My grandad- Greatest...

Its not his birthday today. As a matter of fact, he did not even know when was his actual birthday, but we used to celebrate it on 15th of May every year, maybe because that was on his passport.

I am remembering him today (he expired 7 years back- 19th March 2002, one day after my 10th boards finished.) because we went to a place called the Indian Coffee House. This was 'the barista' of his time and this was the place where my father as a kid along with his two other siblings was often treated by my dadu. And in a month that place is being closed, because its in shambles and because its going into losses. (Its bound to- their Menu is beautiful and the prices rock bottom.) The place is literally in shambles. Its a place where there is still a separate seating area for ' Ladies and Families'. Dad tells me that- Its a place from where a lot of people started their careers. I also over hear an old man telling a journo that how, from where Palika Bazaar is today (In Connought Place) how it was shifted right next to Hanuman Temple in Mohansingh Place. Quite history it has. The shifting happened when emergency had been proclaimed in India. 

We also gave a lil interview to a Journo from The India Today Group. There were so many of them there today... to interview the old men who have been regulars... who just come and sit to talk to their peers. And as I look around the place- I am taken back in time, when my grandpa was a young lad who walked all the way from Daryaganj to the heart of the city to have a cup of coffee and to have a intellectual chat. I can almost hear the chatter of the young blood of that time as they would have been discussing economics and politics sitting on those very seats. And- I am overwhelmed with emotions because this place had played an important part in my dadu's youth and my father's childhood, both of whom mean a world to me. No wonder dad wanted my my sis to be a part of his childhood...

dadu- Thanks- had it not been you... years later- I would not have known the 'coffee culture' that was and I wouldn't have been able to give my first press interview... !!! :)

Dadu- is an Inspiration. And he has touched so many lives- that it takes my breath away. He was always old for us. His favourite medicine was Sorbitrate, which was like candy to him. I was always his favourite girl... yeah even after my younger sister was born. I remember him getting all worried when I was not at home after dark. He used to get furious with me. Thank God there were no cellphones at that time- I would have been the first one getting it then... so that he could keep tabs on me. And its completely his fault that I never know ho to really cook- He was paranoid when I used to go to the kitchen... so- I did not go. 

He was a man of limited means always, came to India after partition. They were never rich. He was the youngest of the three brothers who were bought up by their nani. And for him Education was the MOST MOST important thing ever.

I have never in my life seen him get angry... at all. So I used to go hide behind him whenever mom got angry at me... which was like very very very very often. 

He is my Idol. Patience and Perseverance were his key qualities... and yeah- he did write a short autobiography about his life... I hope that I am able to share that with you all someday...

But the wonderful person that he was- No one can come near the aura that he has created for himself... My dad is following his footsteps and he is so much like him... but not him... 

Awww- Dadu I miss you...!!! 

Oh Yeah here is a quick fact- About 15 years back- He made my father do law and join the profession so that there can be someone to take the practise forward. And today- We are more than 7 advocates in the making... he would have been so proud especially of me. I am sure that even today where ever he is- He is very proud. 

Of questions and answers...

First the GREAT news... My exams are officially over. Today was my first day of holidays, and it was no fun. There was no good movie coming on Television... in short there was nothing to do. So much so, I did not even take my bath... Can You believe that??

I had a REALLLLY long day yesterday. It was full of confusions and timelines and what not. I did not take a breather till like 1 am today morning. It was a miracle that all fell into the right place at the right time.

The day started with a MAJOR panic attack- The time for the practical exam was 9.30 am, and thanks to my dear friends who had everything to think and do the last minute- I left my house at 10 am (my college is atleast 30 mins away from my house minus the traffic and in your own pvt vehicle,in a bus- its 1.5hrs) so, we managed to reach college and thanks to the Indian time problem with most of the junta, the external examiners also reached late. Now, since my college is in on one end of the world and we are supposed to readmit ourselves in every session, the fee and the form had to be filled. I had filled the form already and as soon as I reached college, I saw quite a fe of my college mates submitting their forms.. all in a cheery mood that the examiners as usual were late. I heaved a sigh of relief. I stood in the line to submit my re admission form chatting away to glory. As soon I my turn came... and I gave my form to the sir sitting on the counter, my friend calls me and goes "Sakshi, kahan par hai practical shuru ho gaya hai... aur they have done stupidy..etc etc... jaldi aa upar"  I told that sir to keep my form and the cheques and that I would come back as soon as my practical gets over... but he refused. And so I ran upstairs only to find Mayhem being the word of the day.

It turned out that three examiners had come and to sort out the things the entire batch was divided into three parts and instead of my turn coming in an hour or so mine was due much much earlier.

Everyone was asking about the kind of questions that were being hurled at our friends... 

And finally my turn came.

The examiner taking my interview was flanked by our college Principal Mr. Bedi, a very senior Faculty Mr. Mishra was also sitting very close by flanking the other examiner. As soon as my turn came and I went to the examiner- The following conversation took place.

 Examiner (seeing my admit card and Practical File- "Ms. Sakshi Chopra... aayi"

(As I am sitting down on the chair)

Mr.Bedi- " Aur bhai Chopra, tere dadaji ne law kahan se kari thi?"

Me- " Sir, Lahore"

Examiner- " Lahore..."

Bedi- " Aur tere papa ne toh yahan se kari thi na..."

Examiner- " Acha toh aapke pitaji bhi vakalat karte hain??"

(before I can say anything..)

Bedi- " Haan haan, iske toh papa bhi aur Dadaji bhi Lawyer the"

(And I slammed my hand against my fore head.. the examiner tells me to be calm and not be nervous...asks me questions which I am answering as normally as I can...when... My senior faculty a.k.a. Mr. Mishra also comes to sit by the examiner... and goes...)

Mishra - " Main toh wahan baitha tha, par yeh humaare college ki bahut hoshiyaar ladki hain, toh main yahan aa gaya..."

(I am looking at all three of them.. like a innocent lamb stuck ... I was interrogated by three faculties...and in the end I was stamped as ' hoshiyaar ladki' by the examiner... Thank Heavens... )

 Weird conversation...!!! 

Then, thanks to that re admission thingy which was left incomplete, poor Mannu my friend- had to wait for 45 mins for me.. we had a nice lunch together... and then- I had to rush for my dance class.. I just managed to reach on time. Thanks to the heat I was feeling terribly pukish and terribly ill.. but managed the dance class well. 

And now- I have nothing to do. I slept for most part of the day... doesn't really help things out, because my mum thinks that all I can do is SLEEP... except housework- I will do anything... but I have nothing to do...!!! :(

Rest all is great... 

Relationships... do hit the bottom...

But then, the laws of Physics do say, that what goes up has to come down... and relationships are no different, after the each high point that they achieve, there is a low point too that they come to. Its nothing but natural. 

After the agonizing month that I have had- Tonight was one of the best days rather one of the Best dates that I had with Shayon in Delhi. ( Man, it seems that the Heat, makes the day dates worse than what they ought to be... ) 

The mean and the bad girl I am, I sneaked out behind my parents back coz they had to go out for dinner today... I said that I am off to Priyam's for dinner... (Best friends rock) and Shayon picked me up from my house ... 

Then we went to New Friends Colony Market, which has the world's best shwarama (its a kind of a roll) , the place is dingy and overcrowded... but in that overcrowded place we found a seat tucked in a corner... where we sat across from each other..and talked. About the sensitive issues that have been bothering us... we over ate.. as usual... and the cherry on the top was the Paan that we had as our dessert. It was just great.

But, what was even greater was the fact that I felt at peace with myself being with him... no anger... no feeling of despair... it was just WONDERFUL. There was a feeling of belongingness... I felt very complete...and very relieved. 

We spent two hours on the clock including the travel time together, but these two hours were the most special that I have spent with Shayon in a long time. 

May the good times last for a Long time.

Cheers.

Complications- Complicated- I hate THIS

Human relations are the most complicated form of interactions in our evolved earth and amongst the most sophisticated in the life forms that is supported by Mother Earth.

AND I HATE THIS.

There was a time, when thing were so much simpler in life. Everyone was a friends and enemies...secret talks... and all the complications of a life that lay ahead was lost in our innocence. Life was livable... 

As the years have progressed- The 20 odd years of my life- I have been trying really hard not to complicate my life with anything... be it friends...be my love life or be it with family. But- this is becoming like quick sand... the more I try to uncomplicate it... the more I get sucked into it. The more I try to remain clear of complications the more its get entangled... 

In the bid of keeping just the Right Balance- I think I am losing it all.. somewhere to make the life more bearable and livable.

Nosed... oops- Nosey questions...

In my bid to not to write depressing posts and sad stuff and Since I am on a quest to learn the art of Self Obsession (My sister is a pro at it) here are 30 more questions and answers about Moi. The tag was picked up by Mr. White Phoenix from Chandu's blog. And- All of my readers... should do this Tag... its a fun tag...!!! 

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? 'Man, BAD hair day...'

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now? Rs.60, only, I am not RICH.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? More... (I want more of everything.. LOL)

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Shayon....

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? I have never had ringtone on my phone it always on the Beep once mode,but I love my mom's its ' Ik om Kar', a Shabd from Gurbani.

6. What are you wearing right now? Shorts and a t-shirt...(its HOT)

7. Do you label yourself? Yeah... as an Idiot (if that counts as labeling..).

8. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own? Reebok

9.Bright or Dark Room? Depends on the weather- In summers I like my curtain on making the room dim and cool and In winters I like it pulled apart so that it can be lit with natural light and warmth.

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? I picked this from Mr. Wite P, and he is great at writing. love his style.

11. What does your watch look like? Its a  black colored Fast track from the mens collection... I LOVE it. It was a gift from My dad. I have other swanky watches too... the my fav before this one was a GUESS watch which is not working at all but I still have it. And there is this really awesome Citizen watch which my dad bought from Canada...its so lady like that I asked him to put it away for my wedding.

12. What were you doing at midnight last night? Trying to call up Shayon.

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? “I'll cal u in the evening Sakshi. My friend's psycho ex is eating my head. Sorry' (cant reveal the sender)

14. What’s a word that you say a lot? Bloody hell

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children) Hmmm, Kashvi.

16. Last furry thing you touched? My stuff toys that sleep with me at night.

17. Favourite age you have been so far? I am still to young to say that...

18. What was the last thing you said to someone? “Ok”

19.The last song you listened to? Hmmmm... well... don't remember do soap's title track count??

20. Where did you live in 1987? I was just a year old... aww.. I am still staying in Delhi at the Same place in the same room as I did then... dull life...

21. Are you jealous of anyone? Yeah..lots of ppl.. I am a mean girl.

22. Is anyone jealous of you? Don’t know, don’t care!

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times? My short temper, my sense of humour... and my cell phone I guess

24. What’s your favourite town/city? I am still to see the world to answer this.

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?I am a very letter person, it was three weeks back.

26. Can you change the oil on a car? No.

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? That he’s is doing his internship with a Dental thingy...

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now? Yeah- My thighs...thanks to my dance.

29.What is your current desktop picture? Its the JPG file of my Younger sister's class 10th result directly from the CBSE site...

30. Have you been burnt by love? I guess so...

Oh Hello- You all better do this tag.. its fun...

Little things in life that Matter alot...

... are often left unsaid... or just go by un noticed.

These lil things make you so happy... especially when it all happens after a looooong period of being sad...lonely and alone.

Dad asked me today if I have mentioned anything about the racist attacks in Australia...thus reminding me that I should have written something. But, then, I don't think that I have the words or the right expressions to really talk about this. Its something, that is happening everyday day around us. All the time. Just because its happening in Australia... No- That does not mean I being ignorant to it- It just means that I am just giving these attacks a passing mention because- It enrages me when we do the same thing in our country and that too with our own countrymen. 

I am dying to talk.

To really utilize my ' Right to Speech' , but somehow- I am not getting the right person to vent it out to. Nah- I am not on my 'being sad' trip.. but I am a talker and I feel that I have not gossiped with anyone for ages... nothing masaledar happening at all... anywhere. 

I want to go for a holiday... Just by myself- but THAT is not possible. Dad says do whatever AFTER you get married and you are no more our responsibility... darn.

I have not relaxed like really relaxed in god knows... how many days...weeks... Mum thinks that just because I sleep alot means I am relaxing- she doesn't know that I have practically nothing to do... and that is the reason I am sleeping... not really having a good time. I have not slept like a baby in ages.

And RIGHT now- I am going to stop blabbering and shut up.